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Letter to your 17 year old self
#11
I, like Dingodongyo, Must write my letter to a much younger me. To my six year old self I want to say, do as much as you can to realize your self worth is not determined by your parents, your friends, or your brothers, the kids on the bus. Oh and get a sense of humor while your at it, and quit being so shy. Guys who are too shy get left behind.

You were a happy little kid until you were in Kindergarden, when you found your family's porn stash, and when you were threatened bodily harm by your father if you dared get in a fight at school, followed shortly there after by a bus full of the meanest little fuckers who ever rode a public bus. You will not be half as frustrated with life if you just beat the piss out of them, or at least try, even if they are twice as big as you. go ahead and lash out and gain some respect from those miserable little bastards. Don't just sit back and take it, like I know you do. And stay away from the porn till your old enough. It will give you a very skewed veiw of women.

Those dizzy spells you are having do go away eventually. They will be mostly gone by the time you are thirty. The 42 year old you has done some research and they are not epilipsy. You were poisioned in the womb and by the Gratiot County Mosquito Control Commission by a pesticide called DDT. They spread it all over central Michigan in an effort to kill mosquitos and flys. Because you loose control of you motor functions in short sharp blasts, everyone will look at you like a fucking weirdo. Just hit them. And take your lashes from your Dad like a man. It will be worth it in the end.

Neurological problems are not the only problems DDT will give you. You know that surgery you had to have your left nut lowered? Yup you guessed it, DDT causes that. And years from now you will get real sick and you will have to go to the hospital and they will tell you that you have Diabetes. And all the Doctors will be amazed because your thin and athletic. Come to find out DDT causes that too.

Life has a bunch of rotton shit waiting for you and you need to be tough. You need to not give a shit what other people think of you. And learn to say no to sex, because it makes you seem weak, and ultimately women hate weak minded men. So in effect, saying no will get you a better woman, with better sex. The ultimate paradox. Oh and learn to like bussiness class in Highschool. Maybe you would have been a busness man instead of skilled labor. Your parents have no intentions of sending you to college and will look for any excuse to not help, so your on your own from day one. You need to realize that early so you can deal with it.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
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