04-15-2009, 08:03 AM
Dear 17 year old Biff,
Lay off the pot, cigarettes, and alcohol. In 2 years lay off the meth. Oh, and you're not cool if you smoke pot and/or drink alcohol (especially just to fit in). Later in life you'll discover that you don't much care for any of it anyway. You'll save yourself a lot of money and trouble.
When you get out of the military and you get the opportunity to screw your friend's sister in law: Do it and then stop. Screw her a few times and then walk away. Don't move in with her. Save the money and make a huge bet before the season on the A's winning the World Series. Your friend and his wife will still like you after.
When you're in San Diego and you run across that Paul Stanley Ibanez: buy it. Hide it under the bed for a few years. It'll be worth a lot because Kiss eventually reunites in makeup and people will clamor for that guitar.
Buy a house with at least 3 bedrooms. You'll have kids eventually. It sounds implausible but it's true.
Enjoy a short time with Jamie and Sheri but remember that awesome sex doesn't equal love. You'll know when to walk away.
P.S. You're a good guitarist but you're not going to "make it". Stop investing in "bigger and better". Be satisfied when you have a Les Paul and Mesa Boogie. Enjoy it as a hobby and don't expect more because it will only frustrate you.
Lay off the pot, cigarettes, and alcohol. In 2 years lay off the meth. Oh, and you're not cool if you smoke pot and/or drink alcohol (especially just to fit in). Later in life you'll discover that you don't much care for any of it anyway. You'll save yourself a lot of money and trouble.
When you get out of the military and you get the opportunity to screw your friend's sister in law: Do it and then stop. Screw her a few times and then walk away. Don't move in with her. Save the money and make a huge bet before the season on the A's winning the World Series. Your friend and his wife will still like you after.
When you're in San Diego and you run across that Paul Stanley Ibanez: buy it. Hide it under the bed for a few years. It'll be worth a lot because Kiss eventually reunites in makeup and people will clamor for that guitar.
Buy a house with at least 3 bedrooms. You'll have kids eventually. It sounds implausible but it's true.
Enjoy a short time with Jamie and Sheri but remember that awesome sex doesn't equal love. You'll know when to walk away.
P.S. You're a good guitarist but you're not going to "make it". Stop investing in "bigger and better". Be satisfied when you have a Les Paul and Mesa Boogie. Enjoy it as a hobby and don't expect more because it will only frustrate you.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.