Ask Howie

[Howie Feltersnatch]

I will answer these in order of importance:

Dear Mr. Snatch,

I find that I have a massive desire to be with a fireman. Can you help me with this urge?

Potthead,

Unfortunately I cannot, what I can do is give you a few options to calm your desires.

1) order a stripper gram for yourself.

2) head to a fire station in your area and try to act like you belong in an adult home (see Jiggy's photo for a model) and ask for a tour of the station. While I don't advocate this you could then try to muscle your way into the showers or could simply 'grind' on the hoses and aparatus.

3) craigslist

Dear Mr. Feltersnatch,

Recently I have been the subject of an internet stalker. As flattering as this is, I don't know what I should do as I am now fearing for my life. Any insight as to how I should handle this situation would be helpful. Please note I am providing a picture of the suspect (edited of course to protect his/her identity).

Jiggy,

I have seen this before. The man pictured is clearly a deviant. My suggestion is to get online, find pictures of barely dressed woman/girls throw them on the street and run in the opposite direction. Also, stay away from the van pictured below and any offers to 'photograph you sometime' during 'private shoots' while 'wearing a necktie'.