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Books and junk
My Mother in law tried 'letting' me borrow some twighlight book that she had borrowed from someone else. My Reply:

"No thanks"


What I wish I had replied with:

"You apparently haven't been on facebook lately, if you had been you would have seen that I have been a fan of 'vagina' since my joining"
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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