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FT3: Top ways you've injured yourself
#5
Honorable Mention for me:

within a week while doing work around the house I:

used a cordless drill to punch a hole in my left hand
used a gnarly toothed wood-saw to nearly cut my left thumb off
and smashed my left hand with a hammer
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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