11-05-2009, 03:08 PM
Good luck in whatever you decide.
Because I fully agree with Queenie I will do as others and tell my story about going through this same thing.
My Grandmother died of colon cancer in 1998. She had refused Chemo because she had gone through it years before when battling breast cancer. She couldn't take it anymore and decided to give up. Before she got sick she was 6' and weighed about 180lbs. When she died she was 97lbs and had been in a coma for about a week and half. I was away at college when she passed but a week earlier I had gone and talked to her and told her I loved her when she was in that coma. I'm actually tearing up typing this...so anyway, it felt awkward speaking to someone who I wasn't sure could hear me and it was absolutely awful to see her that way but I'm glad I did and I dont' regret it. When I think about my Grandmother I don't remember her being 97lbs and in a coma, I remember hanging out and roasting marshmallows around a campfire. I remember her being cheap and buying junk at flea markets. I remember her taking me to get ice cream, and I try to focus on the good times because that's how I want to remember her. Remembering the good times make the bad times hurt less but that hurt never goes away completely.
Just make sure she knows how you feel about her, regardless of whether it's face to face or whatever else you choose and make sure you aren't going to regret your actions or inactions when the inevitable occurs.
To answer your question, you are not a coward, you are fearful and there is a big difference there. In whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best!
Because I fully agree with Queenie I will do as others and tell my story about going through this same thing.
My Grandmother died of colon cancer in 1998. She had refused Chemo because she had gone through it years before when battling breast cancer. She couldn't take it anymore and decided to give up. Before she got sick she was 6' and weighed about 180lbs. When she died she was 97lbs and had been in a coma for about a week and half. I was away at college when she passed but a week earlier I had gone and talked to her and told her I loved her when she was in that coma. I'm actually tearing up typing this...so anyway, it felt awkward speaking to someone who I wasn't sure could hear me and it was absolutely awful to see her that way but I'm glad I did and I dont' regret it. When I think about my Grandmother I don't remember her being 97lbs and in a coma, I remember hanging out and roasting marshmallows around a campfire. I remember her being cheap and buying junk at flea markets. I remember her taking me to get ice cream, and I try to focus on the good times because that's how I want to remember her. Remembering the good times make the bad times hurt less but that hurt never goes away completely.
Just make sure she knows how you feel about her, regardless of whether it's face to face or whatever else you choose and make sure you aren't going to regret your actions or inactions when the inevitable occurs.
To answer your question, you are not a coward, you are fearful and there is a big difference there. In whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best!
“I wanna tell Y’all that I ain’t votin for nobody that don’t say freedom enough. Freedom ain’t free, Free Beer. We gotta fight for freedom, Hot wings. Zane you gotta eat freedom fries...Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom..FREEDOM!"