11-10-2009, 08:04 PM
One time when I was an infant I had a very high fever that turned me purple and put me into convulsions and my Mom and Dad had to rush me to the hospital so I didn't die.
One time while driving in a torrential down poor at four in the morning, I woke up bearing down on a gasoline tanker.
One time while working an oil exploration job which required me to carry dynamite and blasting caps (I had 50 of each) and a bolt of lightning shot down out of the sky and landed about 40 feet away from me. If that bolt hit me or hit close enough to send electricity my way, Nobody ever finds one scrap of me.
Another time working that same job I got to the line late so I had to walk into the woods by myself. It was spring so there was water everywhere. Wading through water that was about calf deep, I took one step and was suddenly in a hole full of water over my head. I'm guessing the hole I fell in was about eight feet deep. I can't swim and was totally alone. I suddenly remembered the words my Dad told me once that if you are ever in water over your head, to find the bottom with your feet and jump. That is exactly what I did. I sunk to the bottom and then jumped, grabbed some air, then sank down to the bottom again. I repeated this until I was able to find some weeds to grab on too, but they didn't hold, so I sunk to the bottom again. I jumped again and then I was able to grab a hold of a small sapling and It held!! I finally found something solid enough to pull my self out.
Another time my drunken best friend berated me into letting him drive his car home. Since I was living with him I rode home with him. He imediatly took off like a bat out of hell and was hitting the rural roads to the house at close to 100mph. He ran a two way stop sign. I looked and all I saw was headlights of the car that missed us by inches and I about pissed my pants. The car that almost hit us started flashing his lights, I'm sure he was claening the shit from his britches.
One time While working at 7-11 midnight shift we were waxing the floors and had the store partitioned off so people wouldnt walk through there. Two biker looking guys walked in the store with muddy boots stepped over our baracade just after I announced to them we would get anything they wanted for them
Of course they wanted beer and I was pissed because of what they did so I refused to sell any to them.
They got pissed and left, but then I got a phone call from one of them and he said "Your fucking lucky I don't have my shot gun right now or I'd come in and shoot your sorry ass" I kinda freaked then I called the cops.
One time while driving in a torrential down poor at four in the morning, I woke up bearing down on a gasoline tanker.
One time while working an oil exploration job which required me to carry dynamite and blasting caps (I had 50 of each) and a bolt of lightning shot down out of the sky and landed about 40 feet away from me. If that bolt hit me or hit close enough to send electricity my way, Nobody ever finds one scrap of me.
Another time working that same job I got to the line late so I had to walk into the woods by myself. It was spring so there was water everywhere. Wading through water that was about calf deep, I took one step and was suddenly in a hole full of water over my head. I'm guessing the hole I fell in was about eight feet deep. I can't swim and was totally alone. I suddenly remembered the words my Dad told me once that if you are ever in water over your head, to find the bottom with your feet and jump. That is exactly what I did. I sunk to the bottom and then jumped, grabbed some air, then sank down to the bottom again. I repeated this until I was able to find some weeds to grab on too, but they didn't hold, so I sunk to the bottom again. I jumped again and then I was able to grab a hold of a small sapling and It held!! I finally found something solid enough to pull my self out.
Another time my drunken best friend berated me into letting him drive his car home. Since I was living with him I rode home with him. He imediatly took off like a bat out of hell and was hitting the rural roads to the house at close to 100mph. He ran a two way stop sign. I looked and all I saw was headlights of the car that missed us by inches and I about pissed my pants. The car that almost hit us started flashing his lights, I'm sure he was claening the shit from his britches.
One time While working at 7-11 midnight shift we were waxing the floors and had the store partitioned off so people wouldnt walk through there. Two biker looking guys walked in the store with muddy boots stepped over our baracade just after I announced to them we would get anything they wanted for them
Of course they wanted beer and I was pissed because of what they did so I refused to sell any to them.
They got pissed and left, but then I got a phone call from one of them and he said "Your fucking lucky I don't have my shot gun right now or I'd come in and shoot your sorry ass" I kinda freaked then I called the cops.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"