02-19-2010, 11:13 PM
The economy is so bad that:
* I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
*I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
*CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
*If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
*Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
*McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
*Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
*A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
*Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
*Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.
*The Mafia is laying off judges.
*Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
*Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally ...
*I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the suicide lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
* I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
*I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
*CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
*If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
*Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
*McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
*Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
*A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
*Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
*Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.
*The Mafia is laying off judges.
*Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
*Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally ...
*I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the suicide lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.