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some how because of being a firefighter i'm 102% more likely to get prostate cancer than you....
I don't literally hump hose, it's slang for wrestling it....
I also don't typically teabag the ashes after the fire is out.
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:....
I don't literally hump hose, it's slang for wrestling it....
I also don't typically teabag the ashes after the fire is out.
WHAT?!?!?!
After all this time... I have been grossly misled
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imatoolhed Wrote:waking up from a two hour nap, waking up to 6 inches of snow... gonna go clean the driveway
I would love just a one hour nap.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Right now I am procrastinating finishing my Western Civilization homework....
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Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:some how because of being a firefighter i'm 102% more likely to get prostate cancer than you....
I don't literally hump hose, it's slang for wrestling it....
I also don't typically teabag the ashes after the fire is out.
One of my sisters ex-boyfriends was a Fire Fighter in LA about 20 years ago and was working on the roof of a warehouse fighting a fire. The roof collapsed under him making him fall though. Instead of falling to the floor he landed on a girder. He strattled it. He managed to hang on until his fellow FF's discovered he wasn't dead and pulled him off of it. He really messed up his back and wasn't able to work as a FF ever again but they paid his way though school. I'm sure his prostate wasn't doing to well either.
Quote of the Day:
"I'm here working for the people. I'm causing dissent, stirring the pot, getting people to question the whole rotten system." - George Costanza
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Right now, I would really like to call it a day, but my type A personality is keeping me from doing that...not cool.
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dino Wrote:Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:some how because of being a firefighter i'm 102% more likely to get prostate cancer than you....
I don't literally hump hose, it's slang for wrestling it....
I also don't typically teabag the ashes after the fire is out.
One of my sisters ex-boyfriends was a Fire Fighter in LA about 20 years ago and was working on the roof of a warehouse fighting a fire. The roof collapsed under him making him fall though. Instead of falling to the floor he landed on a girder. He strattled it. He managed to hang on until his fellow FF's discovered he wasn't dead and pulled him off of it. He really messed up his back and wasn't able to work as a FF ever again but they paid his way though school. I'm sure his prostate wasn't doing to well either.
I thought about getting my wife a scanner so she could listen to what was going on when i leave in the middle of the night...then when i remembered she'll hear stuff like that, but not who exactly it is...she'll worry it's me...so i decided ignorance was bliss and she's not getting a scanner.
we've had a few guys fall through, one fell right through, onto a couch and just continued to flow water from inside...ended up hurting his bad pretty bad though.
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:...ended up hurting his bad pretty bad though.
I hurt my bad once too...
3/30/2009 1:38 PM Loose Wendy wrote: "I would rather masturbate using a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire than have sex with Joe."
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On my way to the Addy Award Show
3/30/2009 1:38 PM Loose Wendy wrote: "I would rather masturbate using a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire than have sex with Joe."
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Cleaning up my crib. Made a stop at the computer.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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Right now I'm:
out bitches!
see yas tomorrow!
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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eating a Hershey's with almonds... Which means I'll have to spend an extra 20 minutes on the exercycle tonight. That sucks.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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mainerliser Wrote:your momma Wrote:Well what the hell have you been up too?! Good to see you back on the board!
Come on airhorn....what's the story?!!
Let's just say I was temporarily confronted with the realities of this wonderful economic downturn.
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Krystal Wrote:eating a Hershey's with almonds... Which means I'll have to spend an extra 20 minutes on the exercycle tonight. That sucks.
I cannot exercise while using the eyedrops the Dr. gave me. Isn't that strange?
you know, cause i'm on such a strict regimen
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Queenie Wrote:Krystal Wrote:eating a Hershey's with almonds... Which means I'll have to spend an extra 20 minutes on the exercycle tonight. That sucks.
I cannot exercise while using the eyedrops the Dr. gave me. Isn't that strange?
you know, cause i'm on such a strict regimen
But it's a good excuse to getting out of exercising. I just don't understand how your eyedrops affect your exercising, or vice versa.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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Cleaning the house.
I see said the blind man to his deaf daughter.
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just got done with the driveway and letting my boy push me around in the snow and throw snow at me and the dog
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How much snow do you have tool? We've got about 3 inches, then it turned to rain, then back to snow.
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watchin Hell's Kitchen...best reality show ever
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Laughing at this picture...I think maybe they didn't think ahead on this one..
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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I think they thought long and hard about it before they planted them.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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Mikesmalltalk Wrote:watchin Hell's Kitchen...beastiality show ever
Sometimes words blend together.
Wowie Groovie !
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I'm so goth, I shit bats.
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Never much cared for the man. I am sorry to read the news.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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I haven't really started work yet (though I should have), and I'm already ready for my smoke break...
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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I am eating homemade Carrot Cake for breakfast
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I covet your carrot cake
Wowie Groovie !
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Apparently this is the greatest high school english paper ever...wish I would have had the balls to do something like this in high school...
There are more here if you want to waste some time today and laugh at ridiculousness: http://www.mediazine.net/view/essays_by_peter_nguyen
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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FUSTERCLUCK Wrote:http://www.topix.net/forum/source/wood/T...BNMLLIP/p4
Post #79 (potthole and Biff)
RIP Rick
Vanderoosterdykema! The triumphant return!
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Krystal Wrote:Queenie Wrote:I cannot exercise while using the eyedrops the Dr. gave me. Isn't that strange?
you know, cause i'm on such a strict regimen
But it's a good excuse to getting out of exercising. I just don't understand how your eyedrops affect your exercising, or vice versa.
She said the medicine could weaken my tendons and thus cause them to tear if I exercised.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Queenie Wrote:Krystal Wrote:But it's a good excuse to getting out of exercising. I just don't understand how your eyedrops affect your exercising, or vice versa.
She said the medicine could weaken my tendons and thus cause them to tear if I exercised.
I do not understand how that would happen, but I'll take her word for it.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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Queenie Wrote:Krystal Wrote:But it's a good excuse to getting out of exercising. I just don't understand how your eyedrops affect your exercising, or vice versa.
She said the medicine could weaken my tendons and thus cause them to tear if I exercised.
Is this your doctor?
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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I just remembered how much I love reading Dear Buster because of gems like this:
I WOULD HONESTLY NOT HAVE A CLUE
Dear Buster:
I'm 35, and my husband keeps asking me for a blow job. I never learned how exactly to give one, so I've always refused, but now I want to surprise him on his birthday. Could you tell me how to give him a spectacular one he'll never forget? -- WILLING WIFE
Dear Prick Tease:
How the hell would I know? Do I seem like the type of guy who'd put a dick in my mouth? (Wait, don't answer that!) Find a porno somewhere and watch what the chick does. If memory serves me correct (this was many years ago), the movie "Shane's World" has an instructional section in it that teaches girls how to give good blow jobs. If you are too shy to watch it, then follow these simple instructions:
1. Put it in your mouth.
2. Slide it back and forth in your mouth (no sucking or blowing is necessary).
3. Repeat until you hear him say "Oh God!".
4. Swallow and say "Thank you sir, may I have another."
You're welcome boys. Girls, don't forget to read my signature.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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Jiggy Wrote:Queenie Wrote:She said the medicine could weaken my tendons and thus cause them to tear if I exercised.
Is this your doctor?
I said I had an ulcer on my eye. I didn't say anything about wanting to talk to the dead!!
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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watching the last episode of Rome season 1. I didn't expect the Shakespeare ending to come so soon, I thought they'd drag it out a bit longer
Wowie Groovie !
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Right now I'm:
looking at the poop on the bottom of my boot....cow poop
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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shawnp Wrote:How much snow do you have tool? We've got about 3 inches, then it turned to rain, then back to snow.
only about 5-6 inches...lot of blowing and drifting tho
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