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What the hell is wrong with Free Beer?
#1
Hydrophobic, eats like a child, can no longer talk without fumbling, plays video games, married for a few years yet his only children are the four-legged-man's-best-friend variety.

As far as I know, there is no trauma or abuse in his life.

I'm thinking it's some kind of latent homosexuality or maybe even complications due to him being born premature.

Any professionals care to weigh in on the problems with Free Beer?
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#2
You forgot how he likes to mark his territory whenever he arrives at a new place by pooping in a nearby field.
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#3
That one swimming lesson with a clown as the instructor probably did it.
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#4
Personally I think Freebeer has the balls to be truly honest with himself. He doesn't do anything that he's not comfortable with. I respect that about him.
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#5
i like that he kindof keeps the show in check when hotwings and zane are going crazy. i cant decide if this is good or bad
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#6
beowulf Wrote:i like that he kindof keeps the show in check when hotwings and zane are going crazy. i cant decide if this is good or bad

Good at times, bad at others. When Hot Wings and Zane are amping up insults, and I agree with their insults (such as how they used to blast Chuck FM down in Charleston), I hate it when Free Beer pulls the reigns in. When Hot Wings and Zane are going off on something I like, I'm very happy when Free Beer puts the clamps down.
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#7
I like Freebeer for those reasons, well other than the fact he eats like a child, I am a fellow word fumbler, so I like hearing when he has those moments. I like that he keeps the other 2 in check.
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#8
They've all got thier own faults. Who cares? It's the medely of them all that makes it work so great.
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#9
jeez freebeerfan. get off your knees and wipe your pearlcatcher.
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#10
whats wrong with being married and having no children. I choose not to have children, does this make me a bad person?
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#11
holehead Wrote:whats wrong with being married and having no children. I choose not to have children, does this make me a bad person?

Apparently so. Guess I'm bad too, because my wife and I plan to wait to have kids for quite awhile.
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#12
LOL
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#13
I'm divorced with kids. I must be Eeeevil!
I'm on the air Sundays 6p-10pm. Listen Live @ Q103Albany.com
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#14
There's nothing wrong with him playing video games or having no children. If you haven't noticed, all 3 of them play video games.

And there's no law that you HAVE to have kids, not even in the Bible. Take a look around at some of the dumbasses who do have kids, it's not like it made them smarter. There are plenty of people I see daily with 2+ kids who I personally feel have no business trying to raise another human being, because they can't even take care of themselves.
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#15
Freebeer is not gay, nor is there anything really wrong with him. He is actually a superhero, fighting crime with his flappidy lips of justice. When he flicks his bottom lip he has the ability to force people to tell the truth, and his top lip will send out a frequency anywhere from being able to give you a headache, to crack the bones in your body, to even make your head explode.
Him and his sidekick enamelonious patroll the city of Grand Rapids every night leaping roof by roof, him using his lips to glide, and enamelonius using his teeth as a hang glider.

there, the secret is out.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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#16
My husband and I will be married three years next month, no kids, but four cats. We were told we can't have kids....sometimes it isn't a choice
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#17
━━━━━━━━━
┏┫  |||┣┓ ┏┓
┗┫━━ ┃ ━━┣┛   ┣┫
 ┃ ━━━━━ ┃  ┏┳┫┣┳┓
 ┗━━━┳━━━┛  ┃  &#12288 ;┃Eff you bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i own you!!!!!
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#18
Philly Mike Wrote:Freebeer is not gay, nor is there anything really wrong with him. He is actually a superhero, fighting crime with his flappidy lips of justice. When he flicks his bottom lip he has the ability to force people to tell the truth, and his top lip will send out a frequency anywhere from being able to give you a headache, to crack the bones in your body, to even make your head explode.
Him and his sidekick enamelonious patroll the city of Grand Rapids every night leaping roof by roof, him using his lips to glide, and enamelonius using his teeth as a hang glider.

there, the secret is out.

good one i think a little dribble of pee came out when i read that.
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#19
He's got one of the worst tastes in music in the world... I know that much.
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#20
Zig Wrote:You forgot how he likes to mark his territory whenever he arrives at a new place by pooping in a nearby field.

Riiiiiight! Good point!
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