Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Fighting at work >:(
#1
Ok, how many people have gotten into a fist fight at work? I have but I'll tell my story later.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
Reply
#2
Nope, never got into a fist fight at work.
Reply
#3
I've never been in a fist fight in my life. Undecided
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
Reply
#4
Work is not the place for a fight. The bike rack outside is.
Reply
#5
I've been in one fight. It was 5 on 1 and I got my ass kicked.
Reply
#6
Had a boss raise a fist at me when I challenged him on his being the biggest hypocrite known to man, but when I stood up and told him to hit me, he walked away. I am not arrogant enough to think it was because I was bigger than him, only because he knew he had a lot more to lose than I did.
“I wanna tell Y’all that I ain’t votin for nobody that don’t say freedom enough. Freedom ain’t free, Free Beer. We gotta fight for freedom, Hot wings. Zane you gotta eat freedom fries...Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom..FREEDOM!"
Reply
#7
I was in a scuffle in kindergarten over a pound puppy because the girl wanted to put a dress on it. There was pushing and hitting and I shoved her into the play fridge which fell on us and all the play food tumled out onto about 5 kids. In college I got into a small altercation with some drunk chick's boyfriend. She was talking trash about me and my ruffneck friends. She spit on me, I swung at her, her boyfriend stepped in and I clocked him. I ended up walking away because there were a million cops around. On one other occasion I was at a sports pub for wing night and a group of a-holes were making fun of a kid there from the same school who had a mental/social disorder. He was trying to hang out with them and they started making fun of him and some of the guys started shoving him. I inserted myself into the situation because that sort of thing has always bothered me and I gave a shiner before I was asked to leave. Took the kid to a diner, we had a much better time there. I'm really a mellow person at heart, I try very hard to be on good behavior at work, even if people take my stapler.
Humans are not rational beings, they are rationalizing
Practice safe sex, do it in a Volvo ___________ "Shut up", he explained.
Reply
#8
When I was twenty years old, I used to work for a company called Seismographic Services Inc. Basically what it did was oil exploration. We traveled through out Michigan criss crossing the state, staying in various motels, crossing state land , private land, swamps, woods, etc, etc, looking for oil. I worked on the survey crew, and it was our job to plot out a straight line across the land and clean a trail for the rest of the crew to follow.

My first boss and surveyor was a really cool and nice guy that just happened to be a neighbor of my mom and dad. We worked together great for about eight months and although the job was pretty tough, I had a blast. Then he retired.

The guy that replaced him was a complete and through prick. He was about thirty eight years old and he hated everybody, especially me. He started belittling me from the moment he laid eyes on me. Every day I found out how stupid I was. How ugly I was. How I screwed EVERYTHING up. He was creative about it. There was NO joking involved. He meant every word. Venom spewed from his lips and I got real sick of it real quick.

As the surveyors assistant, I carried an odd assortment of tools. I carried a hammer for pounding nails in trees. I carried a machete (2-1/2 foot long knife) for chopping our way through a swamp or just trimming off stray branches that may be in the line of sight of th surveyor. I also carried a prism pole. Let me explain.

A prism pole was constructed out various diameters PVC pipe in six foot lengths, each inside of each other so that it would extend out to about twenty feet. Perched on the pipe that reached the highest was a set of three geo prisms. These geo prisms were there to reflect the laser light emitted from the surveyor scope. This was to judge distance. This pole was well used and had been fixed at the bottom with a heater hose clamp, which had a tendency to collect forest debris.

The dick surveyor set up his tripod on top of a large hill and I took my pole and went out to shoot distances between stations. Everything was going normal until I was approaching the surveyors position when the geo prism pole grabbed a stray branch with its evil heater hose clamp, unbenounced to me. As I walked by the surveyors tripod the branch brushed up against his tripod and he come unglued.

"F-ing stupid, C-sucking Mother f-ing, shit for brains, stupid ugly kid" were some of the adjectives he hurled at me. He pissed me off so bad that I told him where he could stick his f-ing pole and quit on the spot. I threw the pole down and started to walk back down the hill. I still had on my possession, however, my hammer and my machete.

Before I had walked fifty feet I heard him say "You quit? I never liked you anyway" and then he sprinted after me fists flying. In the few seconds that it took for him to get to me I thought "I don't really want to kill this Mother-F'r."

Three steps before he got to me I threw my machete and my hammer to the ground and he threw a hay-maker at me, I ducked so he missed but I lost my balance on the hill and started tumbling back-wards all the while he was trying to hit me and I trying to mule kick him. I think I got him pretty good a few times because by the time we got to the bottom of the hill the fight had left him. I just looked at him said "what the F" and walked out of the woods.

After I finally got back to the motel that Seismic Services were using as an office I reported the incident to the big wigs. They told me flat out he was valuable to them, that he had worked for them for fifteen years and that whether or not the incident actually took place he wasn't going to fired, punished, or reprimanded. I said OK, seeeyaaa. Then I moved to Grand Rapids.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
Reply
#9
Getting into fights at work is part of my part-time job.

A couple of months ago (during a full moon. It always seems to kick off at full moons), There were two fights at the club. I was taking care of one guy, physically removing him from the venue then getting threatened by a 'ten-yard tuff guy' (the farther from you they get, the more bad ass they act). By the time I figured out he wasn't going to try anything, another fight had started.

As I get back in, the other members of the team had the guy down and were about to get him up to escort him out. He was a pretty tall, athletic guy and it took 4 of them to get him moving. I grabbed his arm and forced it behind his back and helped the others take him through the kitchen to the exit. He went nuts again and this time we got him on the floor and the head bouncer put his knee into the guys back while I held his hands and another guy tried to hold his feet. Somehow in the scuffle, he managed to get his collar bone broken.

The dumb dick still got arrested. And of course the club or it's staff aren't being held responsible for his injuries.


God I love that job.
Reply
#10
burnking Wrote:I've been in one fight. It was 5 on 1 and I got my ass kicked.

I didn't know how many it was going to take to kick my ass........but I knew how many they were going to use. - Ron White
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
Reply
#11
This didn't happen at work but I beat the shit out of a customer once.

Long story short we both liked the same woman. She worked where he did. One Saturday night he came to her door and started pounding on it. I went down the stairs to tell him to get lost and he just yelled louder.

Hello Mr. Face........meet Mr. Knee.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
Reply
#12
Admin Wrote:This didn't happen at work but I beat the shit out of a customer once.

Long story short we both liked the same woman. She worked where he did. One Saturday night he came to her door and started pounding on it. I went down the stairs to tell him to get lost and he just yelled louder.

Hello Mr. Face........meet Mr. Knee.

Awesome, did you mark your territory before you headed back upstairs?
Humans are not rational beings, they are rationalizing
Practice safe sex, do it in a Volvo ___________ "Shut up", he explained.
Reply
#13
I got into a couple F you shouting matches when I worked for the railroad, but since everyone knew that fighting on company property was an instant firing, no one ever threw a punch, there was a phrase that was prominent though, "Let's meet off the property" which basically meant let's fight and not get fired.

For the most part i've been able to skate by on being a big intimidating looking mofo. People usually only pick on someone smaller than themselves, and by 9th grade there weren't too many people who were bigger than me.
Wowie Groovie !
Reply
#14
Titan ! Wrote:I got into a couple F you shouting matches when I worked for the railroad, but since everyone knew that fighting on company property was an instant firing, no one ever threw a punch, there was a phrase that was prominent though, "Let's meet off the property" which basically meant let's fight and not get fired.

For the most part i've been able to skate by on being a big intimidating looking mofo. People usually only pick on someone smaller than themselves, and by 9th grade there weren't too many people who were bigger than me.

Ok big MoFo, how big are you? Like offensive lineman big?
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
Reply
#15
Mad Dog Wrote:
Titan ! Wrote:I got into a couple F you shouting matches when I worked for the railroad, but since everyone knew that fighting on company property was an instant firing, no one ever threw a punch, there was a phrase that was prominent though, "Let's meet off the property" which basically meant let's fight and not get fired.

For the most part i've been able to skate by on being a big intimidating looking mofo. People usually only pick on someone smaller than themselves, and by 9th grade there weren't too many people who were bigger than me.

Ok big MoFo, how big are you? Like offensive lineman big?

6' 5" 350
Wowie Groovie !
Reply
#16
holy shit. I'm tiny. I'm only 6'2" 185 No wonder your TITAN.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
Reply
#17
Mad Dog Wrote:holy shit. I'm tiny. I'm only 6'2" 185 No wonder your TITAN.

You damn skippy !
Wowie Groovie !
Reply
#18
Titan ! Wrote:
Mad Dog Wrote:Ok big MoFo, how big are you? Like offensive lineman big?

6' 5" 350

Hmmmmm...I like big men!
Reply
#19
mainerliser Wrote:
Titan ! Wrote:6' 5" 350

Hmmmmm...I like big men!
Match made in heaven right here.
Quote of the Day:
"I'm here working for the people. I'm causing dissent, stirring the pot, getting people to question the whole rotten system." - George Costanza
Reply
#20
dino Wrote:
mainerliser Wrote:Hmmmmm...I like big men!
Match made in heaven right here.

Boy I certainly hope this isn't heaven. If it is, I'm going to stop praying now.
Reply
#21
airhornahole Wrote:
dino Wrote:Match made in heaven right here.

Boy I certainly hope this isn't heaven. If it is, I'm going to stop praying now.

+1
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 5 Guest(s)