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Zane's Hamster Story...
#1
is one of the funniest things ever broadcast on radio.

I had a similar situation where my fiancee's rat (Jitta's Va-Jay-Jay) needed to be put down because it scratched it's own eye out. She left for California thinking it would be fine when she got back, but it got worse and worse. So... I scooped it out of the cage with a serving spoon, put it in a shoe box and then in a trash bag, and tied it up to the exhaust of my car. I let it breathe exhaust for about 20 minutes, and then threw it in a McDonald's trash can.

When I told her about it a few days later she cried so hard that she stopped the car in the middle of the street.

No more small animals for us.
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#2
That's probably a wise decision.
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#3
sigh... i can forgive zane, he's only an idiot. the hampster he had had an illness called wet tail, basically it's a digestive tract infection. you can cure it by replacing its water with unsweet ice tea and taking away its food for about a day (plus giving its cage a good cleaning.)
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#4
That's one of the funniest stories I've ever heard.

Also some of my favs: Joe talking about his first ghetto apartment, the one with the bathtub in the middle of the room. Also, Zane and Hot Wings making fun of Free Beer's food choices, calling him a little kid, eating "peanutbutternjelly!"
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#5
The first time I heard the hampster story I was crying, but not because it was sad, I was crying because my sides hurt sooo bad from laughing!
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#6
elocin Wrote:The first time I heard the hampster story I was crying, but not because it was sad, I was crying because my sides hurt sooo bad from laughing!
Haha! I was driving and I actually had to pull over.
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#7
mermantiger Wrote:
elocin Wrote:The first time I heard the hampster story I was crying, but not because it was sad, I was crying because my sides hurt sooo bad from laughing!
Haha! I was driving and I actually had to pull over.

I had to walk outside of my cubicle to hide the laughter from my co-workers
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#8
Thats Effing hillarious, Although telling the wife you coulda skipped out on the whole exhaust thing!
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#9
Love the hamster story. Doesn't matter how many times I've heard the replay of it, each time I hear it again, I laugh harder.
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#10
hate to be a newb but ive never heard the hampster story .. can anyone elaborate? from hearing everyone's reactions, it sounds hilarious! thanks Smile
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#11
That reminds me... I think there's a squirrel giving birth in the tree in my front yard.
Wowie Groovie !
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#12
hussywoman Wrote:hate to be a newb but ive never heard the hampster story .. can anyone elaborate? from hearing everyone's reactions, it sounds hilarious! thanks Smile

Ah crap, I'm forgetting all the minute (funny) details, but basically Zane once tried to rid himself of a hamster by sticking it into a plastic bag, and throwing it as hard as he could. It takes a turn from the macabre because, if I'm remembering correctly, it took a few attempts to do the deed.
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#13
potthole Wrote:
hussywoman Wrote:hate to be a newb but ive never heard the hampster story .. can anyone elaborate? from hearing everyone's reactions, it sounds hilarious! thanks Smile

Ah crap, I'm forgetting all the minute (funny) details, but basically Zane once tried to rid himself of a hamster by sticking it into a plastic bag, and throwing it as hard as he could. It takes a turn from the macabre because, if I'm remembering correctly, it took a few attempts to do the deed.

oh man, i would LOVE to hear that story from the horse's mouth! i can definitely imagine him doing something wacky like that, too. thanks for filling me in.
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#14
potthole Wrote:
hussywoman Wrote:hate to be a newb but ive never heard the hampster story .. can anyone elaborate? from hearing everyone's reactions, it sounds hilarious! thanks Smile

Ah crap, I'm forgetting all the minute (funny) details, but basically Zane once tried to rid himself of a hamster by sticking it into a plastic bag, and throwing it as hard as he could. It takes a turn from the macabre because, if I'm remembering correctly, it took a few attempts to do the deed.

You're forgetting the important part..He was throwing it as hard as he could into a tree. Ughh!!!
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#15
potthole Wrote:
hussywoman Wrote:hate to be a newb but ive never heard the hampster story .. can anyone elaborate? from hearing everyone's reactions, it sounds hilarious! thanks Smile

Ah crap, I'm forgetting all the minute (funny) details, but basically Zane once tried to rid himself of a hamster by sticking it into a plastic bag, and throwing it as hard as he could. It takes a turn from the macabre because, if I'm remembering correctly, it took a few attempts to do the deed.

He put it in a bag, swung it around his head, and missfired and threw it straight up into the air where it caught on a tree branch at its apex. The hamster was still moving and Zane had to climb the tree and shake it down. It hit the ground still alive, and when he threw it again at the tree the bag exploded and hamster juice flew everywhere. He didn't even try to clean it up, he just ran back into the house crying and drunk.

The end. Not the funniest version, but short(er).

FB and HW making fun of him is also one of the funniest parts of the break, and the hamster story right before that, where his dad let him leave his hamster in the car for 90 minutes when it was 95 degrees out. The hamster baked and died.
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#16
speedbump Wrote:
potthole Wrote:Ah crap, I'm forgetting all the minute (funny) details, but basically Zane once tried to rid himself of a hamster by sticking it into a plastic bag, and throwing it as hard as he could. It takes a turn from the macabre because, if I'm remembering correctly, it took a few attempts to do the deed.

He put it in a bag, swung it around his head, and missfired and threw it straight up into the air where it caught on a tree branch at its apex. The hamster was still moving and Zane had to climb the tree and shake it down. It hit the ground still alive, and when he threw it again at the tree the bag exploded and hamster juice flew everywhere. He didn't even try to clean it up, he just ran back into the house crying and drunk.

The end. Not the funniest version, but short(er).

FB and HW making fun of him is also one of the funniest parts of the break, and the hamster story right before that, where his dad let him leave his hamster in the car for 90 minutes when it was 95 degrees out. The hamster baked and died.
HAHA! I totally forgot about that. I love Zane's little kid voice, and then they play that stupid "Cats in the Cradle" song while he's talking.
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#17
I don't think I've ever heard the little kid voice part of the story. Nearly every time I hear him talking about it, I join in mid story.

Thanks for those who filled in the holes in the story. I was pretty certain that the bag got caught in the air, but had doubts as I was typing it up.
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#18
god i love that story. ROFL
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#19
potthole Wrote:I don't think I've ever heard the little kid voice part of the story.
The little kid voice is even more hilarious and disturbing than Lil' Markie.
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