Masturbation

[Mad Dog]

So do you feel that I need a preist? Or do you think that I can just go to The Big Guy on my own accord? What if I confess my sins of masterbation and turn around an do it AGAIN!! Like I've done hundreds of times before. Should I feel bad if I do it again? What do I do if my balls flame up? What if I feel sorry for my balls and want to make them happy? This sucks. I think I'm going to my room in Hell now.....

[potthole]

So do you feel that I need a preist? Or do you think that I can just go to The Big Guy on my own accord? What if I confess my sins of masterbation and turn around an do it AGAIN!! Like I've done hundreds of times before. Should I feel bad if I do it again? What do I do if my balls flame up? What if I feel sorry for my balls and want to make them happy? This sucks. I think I'm going to my room in Hell now.....

Most Catholics would probably say you need to confess sins to a Priest. Most Protestants would say you don't.

[Philly Mike]

you need to confess to the priest, he will then say you need to do the rosary or whatever, and it is forgiven. The time you don't really need a priest is if you are about to die then as long as you truly are sorry it will be forgiven.

the spaghetti monster will be able to tell if you truly are sorry.

[speedbump]

you need to confess to the priest, he will then say you need to do the rosary or whatever, and it is forgiven. The time you don't really need a priest is if you are about to die then as long as you truly are sorry it will be forgiven.

Does this seem illogical to anyone else? I mean religion itself doesn't make sense, but even within the confines of religion I don't think this works. I had a response to your post, but I already know you'll respond with "only god can judge" or something along those lines. Then I'll say "oh but you just made a judgment two posts back", and then you'll probably not respond to that or deny it and say it wasn't a judgment.

I just need to know I'm not alone here.

[Philly Mike]

you need to confess to the priest, he will then say you need to do the rosary or whatever, and it is forgiven. The time you don't really need a priest is if you are about to die then as long as you truly are sorry it will be forgiven.

Does this seem illogical to anyone else? I mean religion itself doesn't make sense, but even within the confines of religion I don't think this works. I had a response to your post, but I already know you'll respond with "only god can judge" or something along those lines. Then I'll say "oh but you just made a judgment two posts back", and then you'll probably not respond to that or deny it and say it wasn't a judgment.

I just need to know I'm not alone here.

Hey I am going by what I read. I am an atheist and don't really follow any of this. just because the rules are written this way doesn't mean they will make sense. If you look at just about any religion there are a lot of conflicts especially when it comes to god, or whatever powers may be breaking their own rules.

[Mad Dog]

you need to confess to the priest, he will then say you need to do the rosary or whatever, and it is forgiven. The time you don't really need a priest is if you are about to die then as long as you truly are sorry it will be forgiven.

the spaghetti monster will be able to tell if you truly are sorry.

The irony here is he was actually talking about the Great and Terrible Spaghetti Monster.

[Queenie]

you need to confess to the priest, he will then say you need to do the rosary or whatever, and it is forgiven. The time you don't really need a priest is if you are about to die then as long as you truly are sorry it will be forgiven.

the spaghetti monster will be able to tell if you truly are sorry.

The irony here is he was actually talking about the Great and Terrible Spaghetti Monster.

You forgot "Flying"

[potthole]

you need to confess to the priest, he will then say you need to do the rosary or whatever, and it is forgiven. The time you don't really need a priest is if you are about to die then as long as you truly are sorry it will be forgiven.

According to Catholics. Protestants believe you don't need a priest when confessing sins. It's just you and God, no middleman needed.

[uhohspagettio]

I feel that the actual act of masturbation itself isn't sin, it's the lustful thoughts that usually come with it that are sin. If you can honestly say that you can masturbate while thinking about grass growing, then go on and masturbate all you want, because you're not sinning.

Alright here's a hypothetical. My wife and I don't have sex as much anymore, and I fantasize about her while rubbing one out? Is that lust?
This topic reminds me of an SNL skit where Tobey Maguire is a yoga instructor and he teaches Will Ferrell how to bend far enough so he can give himself oral. Tobey's character is disgusted and says he would never do that because he's not gay. Ferrell's character responds with "When you masturbate you're giving a dude a handjob" or something along those lines. I'll have to find that on YouTube.

[Mad Dog]

Zane was saying that when he went to cumfession Sunday, that his preist said that masterbation definitely was a sinful act.

[potthole]

I feel that the actual act of masturbation itself isn't sin, it's the lustful thoughts that usually come with it that are sin. If you can honestly say that you can masturbate while thinking about grass growing, then go on and masturbate all you want, because you're not sinning.

Alright here's a hypothetical. My wife and I don't have sex as much anymore, and I fantasize about her while rubbing one out? Is that lust?

That's honestly a very good question, and I've sort of thought over that in my mind as I've been posting/reading this thread.

In my own personal views, I don't think that's lustful, thinking sexual thoughts about your spouse. To me, masturbating while thinking about your wife isn't sinning. Would others in the church agree? Some might, others wouldn't. Those are my feelings, though.

[speedbump]

Does this seem illogical to anyone else? I mean religion itself doesn't make sense, but even within the confines of religion I don't think this works. I had a response to your post, but I already know you'll respond with "only god can judge" or something along those lines. Then I'll say "oh but you just made a judgment two posts back", and then you'll probably not respond to that or deny it and say it wasn't a judgment.

I just need to know I'm not alone here.

Hey I am going by what I read. I am an atheist and don't really follow any of this. just because the rules are written this way doesn't mean they will make sense. If you look at just about any religion there are a lot of conflicts especially when it comes to god, or whatever powers may be breaking their own rules.

Oh ok. I hadn't pegged you as a religious person based on other threads, but I didn't realize you weren't speaking for yourself in this thread. I agree there are many conflicts.

There are plenty of people here who DO believe this though, so I'd like to hear what they have to say.

[Philly Mike]

Hey I am going by what I read. I am an atheist and don't really follow any of this. just because the rules are written this way doesn't mean they will make sense. If you look at just about any religion there are a lot of conflicts especially when it comes to god, or whatever powers may be breaking their own rules.

Oh ok. I hadn't pegged you as a religious person based on other threads, but I didn't realize you weren't speaking for yourself in this thread. I agree there are many conflicts.

There are plenty of people here who DO believe this though, so I'd like to hear what they have to say.

I understand both sides of it I used to be in the whole I believe thing, I just realized how unreal it was. Now I am not saying that if you are religious there is anything wrong with you. People have faith in what they want. The reason people will believe regardless of conflicts is just because it is faith. The pure definition of faith is just to believe in something regardless of opposing ideals or lack of evidence. There is no mystery. People are raised to believe it, or they are at a vulnerable moment in their life and find the ideals of a religion makes them feel comforted, kind of like a security blanket. There are a million other reasons people will follow without question, and each is as unique as the person who follows it.

[Mad Dog]

Oh ok. I hadn't pegged you as a religious person based on other threads, but I didn't realize you weren't speaking for yourself in this thread. I agree there are many conflicts.

There are plenty of people here who DO believe this though, so I'd like to hear what they have to say.

I understand both sides of it I used to be in the whole I believe thing, I just realized how unreal it was. Now I am not saying that if you are religious there is anything wrong with you. People have faith in what they want. The reason people will believe regardless of conflicts is just because it is faith. The pure definition of faith is just to believe in something regardless of opposing ideals or lack of evidence. There is no mystery. People are raised to believe it, or they are at a vulnerable moment in their life and find the ideals of a religion makes them feel comforted, kind of like a security blanket. There are a million other reasons people will follow without question, and each is as unique as the person who follows it.

This is the most intellegent post I think I've ever read +1

[Philly Mike]

I understand both sides of it I used to be in the whole I believe thing, I just realized how unreal it was. Now I am not saying that if you are religious there is anything wrong with you. People have faith in what they want. The reason people will believe regardless of conflicts is just because it is faith. The pure definition of faith is just to believe in something regardless of opposing ideals or lack of evidence. There is no mystery. People are raised to believe it, or they are at a vulnerable moment in their life and find the ideals of a religion makes them feel comforted, kind of like a security blanket. There are a million other reasons people will follow without question, and each is as unique as the person who follows it.

This is the most intellegent post I think I've ever read +1

Thanks

(I say hoping that was not sarcasm)

[zlangan24]

right on philly mike

[Torque]

I just got done reading the whole thread start to finish so bear with me...

The two sides to certain religions considering masturbation a sin are 1) the lust factor and 2) the using the resultant from the act only for procreation.

Problem #1: Dilemma of lusting after your own husband/wife- most will say this is still a sin (see side #2).

Problem #2: some religions are hazy on the whole "having sex with your spouse for pleasure" (not procreation) being an emotional experience of "god's love". Also, side #2 is biased against males obviously and ignores the fact that a male's sex organs continuously produce sperm and if they are not released in an ejaculation they just flow out along with urine as a biological waste product. Therefore, apparently according to one view, all guys are sinning multiple times every day. Another point- male animals of many higher species masturbate and they're not going to hell. It's a natural and sometimes subconscious phenomenon. Hell, they've documented horse foals in utero masturbating. True you can't prove lust, but as several members have said, in their religion it's the lust not the act.

This may seem like an inflaming statement, but religion IS primitive and has always come about for control. Personal faith may fill individual voids and be helpful to some people during their lives and that's not what I'm referring to, nor am I saying something ridiculous like Gandhi had a negative personal objective. It's just apparent when studying all major organized religions that the rules and fear and hierarchies show primitiveness on the macrocosm scale and have not generally led to the best possible moments in human history.

[bigdaddy843]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

[Howie Feltersnatch]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

Hey!, broken caps lock guy!

sweetness times 10

[Queenie]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

I would think that you'd lose a stroke changing hands, not gain one.

[dino]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

Awesome way to introduce yourself to the messageboard! +10! :

[alex]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

You're Effing high.

I know this because i'm a doktor.

[Biff]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

[alex]

But, Biffster! If it isn't all caps how can we tell if he's serious or not?

[Queenie]

But, Biffster! If it isn't all caps how can we tell if he's serious or not?

1. No all caps posting. It's just annoying and the moderators instantly put you on their mental watch list.

[alex]

It was a joke, Queenie.

but thanks for playing ;(

[Queenie]

It was a joke, Queenie.

but thanks for playing ;(

Yeah, I caught that Dok, but I posted it for his benefit as well. Thanks for keeping an eye on me. :

[alex]

Then why bother quoting me at all?

[Queenie]

Do you really wanna go down this road again?

Edit: I don't really want a written answer to this question.

[alex]

I'm just curious, if you were posting the rules to benefit him, why was I involved?

[Queenie]

I'm just curious, if you were posting the rules to benefit him, why was I involved?

Because judging from your early days on the board, you obviously didn't read them either before posting. I did it simply to let you know there are rules for the board. Here's the link to them for your convenience.

http://fbhw.proboards47.com/index.cgi?bo...age=1#3349

[alex]

Aight.

[potthole]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

This is an example of an awesome first post. Allow me to point out how...

• Caps lock turned on? Check!
  
• Barely legible? Check!
  
• Multiple exclamation points? Check!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously... :'(

[Rock Monster]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

This is an example of an awesome first post. Allow me to point out how...

• Caps lock turned on? Check!
  
• Barely legible? Check!
  
• Multiple exclamation points? Check!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously... :'(

Douchebaggery - check! (not you pott...)

[dingdongyo]

THE ONES WHO THINK THIS A SIN IS TRYING TO CHANGE HANDS AND GAIN A STROKE OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THEIR YES VOTE WILL TIP THE SCALES. TUFF SHIT a-holeS IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE IT FEELS TO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA

You're effing high.

I know this because i'm a doktor.

when the hell did you get funny?

[Philly Mike]

You're effing high.

I know this because i'm a doktor.

when the hell did you get funny?

I think he learned to have fun, after all being a doktor can be stressful so he may have just been venting those first few weeks.

eventually all us nerds turn out to be decent peoples

[plungerhand]

This is an example of an awesome first post. Allow me to point out how...

• Caps lock turned on? Check!
  
• Barely legible? Check!
  
• Multiple exclamation points? Check!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously... :'(

Douchebaggery - check! (yes, you pott...)

ditto

[alex]

when the hell did you get funny?

I think he learned to have fun, after all being a doktor can be stressful so he may have just been venting those first few weeks.

eventually all us nerds turn out to be decent peoples

Nerds build robots, Geeks and Slackers talk about Hulk fighting Superman. I'd like to think I'm in the latter groups.

[Mad Dog]

So do you fit better in the Geeks group or the Slacker group?^^

[Philly Mike]

I think he learned to have fun, after all being a doktor can be stressful so he may have just been venting those first few weeks.

eventually all us nerds turn out to be decent peoples

Nerds build robots, Geeks and Slackers talk about Hulk fighting Superman. I'd like to think I'm in the latter groups.

okay i take any instance of me regarding myself as a nerd/geek, or anything of the like.

Only a true nerd/geek or whatever you will would actually decide to pose a difference.