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What would you like to say to your customers?
#1
This is going of the topic from the show. What would those of you who work or used to work in customer service like to say to the customers.

I used to work for sears merchandise pick up. It is where people go to pick up the big items.

I would like to say to people "You can not fit your brand new double door Maytag Fridge on top of your honda civic."

yes there are people who have tried this, along with 50+ inch TVs, Washers, Dryers, and just about anything bigger than the car.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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#2
Not customer service, but I still have customers...

If you hire me to do an analysis, don't fight me when the numbers don't come out like you want them to. Stop lying to yourself, the figures are right here.
That's what she said.
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#3
I used to work in a grocery store, I can't begin to tell you about the customers that would see a sale sign and just grab whatever...they didn't even bother to read what was on sale and what size item it was. Then they get mad at the cashier cause it didn't ring up right and then you've got a backed up line cause you've got to either go get the right item or show the dumb ass the correct sale item.

Also, it's called an express lane for a reason...don't go to the 10 items or less line with half a buggy full of groceries.

Thank you for shopping with us! Tongue
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#4
I used to serve tables and I would like to say
"IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO TIP AND TIP WELL, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO EAT OUT!!!"
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#5
I would to tell my customers many things!

#1: Voicemail was created for a reason. If I don't answer the first Effing time, that means I'm busy helping another customer. Just because you call doesn't mean I'm gonna drop everything and Effing wait on you! Do not call over and over and over and get pissed off because I am not answering, then tell the receptionist that nobody is answering causing her to call back to me and not get a response. If you can't get through, what makes you think she will be able to? Thats why we have VOILEMAIL! I promise, once I get caught up, I WILL return your call, unless, of course, you're a cocksucking a-hole! Eff off!

#2: Learn to speak english. If you don't know what you're looking for and can't even describe it to me, how the Eff do you expect me to figure out what the Eff is wrong with your car? Also, take a Effing bath! If I wanted to smell garlic and poo, I would take a dump and sprinkle garlic on it! Welcome to America! Eff off!
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#6
I'm sorry if you're unhappy with your photos.

Photoshop is a great tool, and I can use it to remove acne, scars, and some stretch marks, and if you've got cellulite I can smooth some of that too. But for god's sake if you're 45 and you've had 4 kids and your daily calorie intake is 3 times that of what you burn I can NOT make you look like Elle MacPherson on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
Wowie Groovie !
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#7
Allyson Wrote:Not customer service, but I still have customers...

If you hire me to do an analysis, don't fight me when the numbers don't come out like you want them to. Stop lying to yourself, the figures are right here.

I support this.
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#8
Philly Mike Wrote:This is going of the topic from the show. What would those of you who work or used to work in customer service like to say to the customers.

I used to work for sears merchandise pick up. It is where people go to pick up the big items.

I would like to say to people "You can not fit your brand new double door Maytag Fridge on top of your honda civic."

yes there are people who have tried this, along with 50+ inch TVs, Washers, Dryers, and just about anything bigger than the car.

When my ex lived in Chicago we would see evidence of this all the time in the Best Buy parking lot, without fail everytime we went there there would be 3 or 4 carts with giant TV boxes sitting empty, they couldn't fit their shiny new TVs in the car while it was still in the box. Whenever we knew someone was moving we told them to get boxes at best buy first.
Wowie Groovie !
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#9
Titan ! Wrote:
Philly Mike Wrote:This is going of the topic from the show. What would those of you who work or used to work in customer service like to say to the customers.

I used to work for sears merchandise pick up. It is where people go to pick up the big items.

I would like to say to people "You can not fit your brand new double door Maytag Fridge on top of your honda civic."

yes there are people who have tried this, along with 50+ inch TVs, Washers, Dryers, and just about anything bigger than the car.

When my ex lived in Chicago we would see evidence of this all the time in the Best Buy parking lot, without fail everytime we went there there would be 3 or 4 carts with giant TV boxes sitting empty, they couldn't fit their shiny new TVs in the car while it was still in the box. Whenever we knew someone was moving we told them to get boxes at best buy first.

I swear when it comes to this the retardation problem in the world is worse than the stats say.

You know what I mean? Shit if you Effing just spent $5000 on a new TV you should be able to afford the $15 to $30 for delivery a-hole.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
Reply
#10
Allyson Wrote:Not customer service, but I still have customers...

If you hire me to do an analysis, don't fight me when the numbers don't come out like you want them to. Stop lying to yourself, the figures are right here.

I with you on that Allyson. I used to do account reconciliation for a construction/development company. There were numerous businesses withing the business and there was a lot of intercompany lending, etc. The owner knew the other partner and his wife (the owner's) was "stealing" money. The CFO of the company was a lazy SOB (well, I thought he was, but realized he was just covering for the thieves). I did, however, get a great report to him before they "laid" me off due to lack of work. The owner's wife wasn't very happy with me after that.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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#11
Queenie Wrote:
Allyson Wrote:Not customer service, but I still have customers...

If you hire me to do an analysis, don't fight me when the numbers don't come out like you want them to. Stop lying to yourself, the figures are right here.

I with you on that Allyson. I used to do account reconciliation for a construction/development company. There were numerous businesses withing the business and there was a lot of intercompany lending, etc. The owner knew the other partner and his wife (the owner's) was "stealing" money. The CFO of the company was a lazy SOB (well, I thought he was, but realized he was just covering for the thieves). I did, however, get a great report to him before they "laid" me off due to lack of work. The owner's wife wasn't very happy with me after that.

Of all the beauty in the world, the truth is possibly one of the ugliest things you would show others about themselves.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
Reply
#12
Philly Mike Wrote:
Queenie Wrote:I with you on that Allyson. I used to do account reconciliation for a construction/development company. There were numerous businesses withing the business and there was a lot of intercompany lending, etc. The owner knew the other partner and his wife (the owner's) was "stealing" money. The CFO of the company was a lazy SOB (well, I thought he was, but realized he was just covering for the thieves). I did, however, get a great report to him before they "laid" me off due to lack of work. The owner's wife wasn't very happy with me after that.

Of all the beauty in the world, the truth is possibly one of the ugliest things you would show others about themselves.

Very well said! +1
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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#13
From when I used to deliver pizzas:

Anything under 2 dollars is shitty tip. Unless a driver is rude, unfriendly, stinks, doesn't thank you, or the pizza is extremely late (which usually isn't his fault) there is no reason to not help the guy make extra money to cover gas and vehicle upkeep. He's most likely working through school or making a little extra to keep his family above water.

Remember, shitty tippers get their pizza last. The drivers talk and they remember you.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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#14
Admin Wrote:From when I used to deliver pizzas:

Anything under 2 dollars is shitty tip. Unless a driver is rude, unfriendly, stinks, doesn't thank you, or the pizza is extremely late (which usually isn't his fault) there is no reason to not help the guy make extra money to cover gas and vehicle upkeep. He's most likely working through school or making a little extra to keep his family above water.

Remember, shitty tippers get their pizza last. The drivers talk and they remember you.

I am guessing that's why I always got my cheese steaks nice and fast, we were always good tippers, and piratically knew the delivery guy and girl on a first name bases.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
Reply
#15
Philly Mike Wrote:
Admin Wrote:From when I used to deliver pizzas:

Anything under 2 dollars is shitty tip. Unless a driver is rude, unfriendly, stinks, doesn't thank you, or the pizza is extremely late (which usually isn't his fault) there is no reason to not help the guy make extra money to cover gas and vehicle upkeep. He's most likely working through school or making a little extra to keep his family above water.

Remember, shitty tippers get their pizza last. The drivers talk and they remember you.

I am guessing that's why I always got my cheese steaks nice and fast, we were always good tippers, and piratically knew the delivery guy and girl on a first name bases.

Hurry, fix your post before RM gets in here! Wink

Edit: Nevermind, I forgot you actually have a disclaimer on the subject. Wink
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
Reply
#16
Admin Wrote:From when I used to deliver pizzas:

Anything under 2 dollars is shitty tip. Unless a driver is rude, unfriendly, stinks, doesn't thank you, or the pizza is extremely late (which usually isn't his fault) there is no reason to not help the guy make extra money to cover gas and vehicle upkeep. He's most likely working through school or making a little extra to keep his family above water.

Remember, shitty tippers get their pizza last. The drivers talk and they remember you.

Yea I usually tip $3 and I only live 1/8th of a mile away from the pizza place. I generally base my delivery tips on how far away I am.
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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#17
Just got back from Logan's. We left a $10 tip on a $41 tab. She was awesome! And we got to sit outside . . . lovely weather!!
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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