08-26-2009, 08:22 PM
(631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
That's what she said.
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Right Now I'm........... (part deux)
Right Now I'm........... (part deux)
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Right Now I'm........... (part deux)
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08-26-2009, 08:33 PM
(513): She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
That's what she said.
08-26-2009, 08:35 PM
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That's what she said.
08-27-2009, 07:51 AM
Allyson Wrote:(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests I would do that if I were a teacher.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
08-27-2009, 06:54 PM
grilling
life savers candy only really work if you have diabetes
imatoolhed46n2//imatoolhed dudeguy TOYKO!! R.I.P. the alien gus 
08-28-2009, 08:31 AM
damn glad it's Friday. I'll be even happier after we get through tomorrow night. Alyssa is in the County Fair beauty pageant. It's been a wild week trying to get ready for it, aaaaand trying to find a new car, aaaaand trying to get everything wrapped up for my boss so he can spend the next month at the beach.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map! 
08-28-2009, 08:34 AM
Queenie Wrote:Alyssa is in the County Fair beauty pageant. is she 18 yet?
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
08-28-2009, 12:03 PM
Right Now I'm........... (part deux)
thinking about opening a bar in my home town. The bar that is currently there is going out of business and instead of buying it and keeping the bar name (like the past owners have) i'm thinking of serving normal bar food (burgers, fries, fried cheese and fried pickles) along with normal beers and running with a fire and police service theme and calling it '10-8' which is ten code for Back in Service or '10-7' which is Out of Service
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
08-28-2009, 12:20 PM
Do it! I'd come and eat your food, as long as you don't spit in my burger.
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. 
08-28-2009, 02:42 PM
Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:Right Now I'm........... (part deux) Yeah it would probably only be about $250,000
Wiener Poopie 2.0! Now fatter and less credible!
08-28-2009, 02:54 PM
Wiener Poopie Wrote:Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:Right Now I'm........... (part deux) wanna go halves?
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
08-28-2009, 03:07 PM
You could install fireman poles and hire strippers to slide down them!!
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
08-29-2009, 08:35 AM
I'm sensing the beginning of "Howie Feltersnatch's Five Alarm Chicken Strips Club"
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. 
08-29-2009, 10:25 AM
If you were to take a serious look at that, Howie, I'd be willing to offer my photography/marketing skills to assist you.
08-29-2009, 01:24 PM
potthole Wrote:If you were to take a serious look at that, Howie, I'd be willing to offer my photography/marketing skills to assist you. Especially since your going to have strippers on Fireman poles.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!" 
08-29-2009, 09:00 PM
... going to pick Mark up from the airport.
 Mark confirmed that he's "jittery and sweaty." I'm definitely all nervous, and if I had clothes on I'd probably be sweaty too. Wish us luck! We'll be sure to let everyone know how our crazy awkward first moments go.
My latest Free Beer-ism: "Did the light lamp up? ...Wait did I just have a sword cramble? AHHHHG"
08-30-2009, 01:20 PM
So so so proud of my baby girl!! She was 1st runner-up in the county fair pageant last night. There were 31 girls altogether in her group. She was just awesome! I was really worried about her tripping and/or falling being her first time in any size heels, but she kept it together. Below is a picture of her and one of her best friends. The age division was 13, 14 & 15. Some of the girls looked to be 23. I think that's probably why she did so well. She was just herself!! My youngest son's girlfriend fixed her hair and makeup and it was just perfect. I couldn't have been any more proud.
![[Image: FOF2009.jpg]](http://i329.photobucket.com/albums/l371/janiceam/FOF2009.jpg)
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map! 
08-30-2009, 02:39 PM
marissa Wrote:... going to pick Mark up from the airport. Apparently it went well!! :wtf:
08-30-2009, 02:54 PM
admin Wrote:Well? I'm sure you'll hear about it on the radio, but... It went pretty much as expected. I saw him come around the corner and got super excited and jumped a lot. We hugged and kissed and the little children waiting for their grandmother were scandalized. It went pretty much like this: Me: Hi! Mark: Heyyyy. Me: Hi! Hi! *jumping jumping* Mark : Hey baby. Me: HIIII! *lots of inappropriate fondling/kissing* Me: Hi! At some point I stopped acting like the crazy bondage girl from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi. Do you want to gag me?) and we went and got his luggage. If you haven't seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, watch it. Conversations while standing and waiting for the bags included the pictures on the wall, some guy's green flip flops, the fact I like orange, my knee was numb, Mark was surprised that I was pretty, I had the same skirt as another girl there, once I got attacked by a bird, etc... Despite the thoroughly awkward start, I can say that at 4 pm on our first day together, we definitely made the right choice. I'd ask Mark to confirm that, but he's in a sleep coma in my bed. Hmmm...  Oh and Queenie, your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! And so is her friend... I'm not sure which is which. 
My latest Free Beer-ism: "Did the light lamp up? ...Wait did I just have a sword cramble? AHHHHG"
08-31-2009, 05:57 AM
patiently waiting for my new tattoo to stop scabbing and looking like mung
08-31-2009, 07:13 AM
Congrats to Mark to getting on the air, and getting on Marissa. :wtf:
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
08-31-2009, 11:54 AM
A better picture of Alyssa!! I'm still reeling over her performance Saturday night!!
![[Image: 5332_1156010112954_1608777530_37747.jpg]](http://i329.photobucket.com/albums/l371/janiceam/5332_1156010112954_1608777530_37747.jpg)
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map! 
08-31-2009, 12:51 PM
She's so pretty Queenie!! Tell her congradulations!
08-31-2009, 02:47 PM
she's a beaut, better keep a baseball bat handy to ward off all those horny boys Queenie
08-31-2009, 04:51 PM
Whimpy boys would just be scared off just by her presense.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
08-31-2009, 06:07 PM
Having met Queenie personally, I don't think she needs to use a bat...
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. 
08-31-2009, 06:13 PM
0rz0ski Wrote:Having met Queenie personally, I don't think she needs to use a bat... agreed.
09-01-2009, 07:32 AM
Wondering if my eyes decieve me, or if I'm still drunk because I swear to God I'm seeing The Titan post again....
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
09-01-2009, 08:04 AM
jumping for joy, paid off my credit card yesterday...
09-01-2009, 09:04 AM
peachs Wrote:jumping for joy, paid off my credit card yesterday... Awesome!! :clap:
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. 
09-01-2009, 09:13 AM
peachs Wrote:jumping for joy, paid off my credit card yesterday... :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
09-01-2009, 02:53 PM
thanks Biff, Orz.. I needed to do it, was just dragging my feet on it... Big trip home coming up soon...
09-01-2009, 03:01 PM
Now keep them debt free! That's an even bigger challenge!
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
09-01-2009, 03:33 PM
lucky for me it's only a small credit line.. I've pretty much only used it for emergencies, moving back to albany put me in a tight spot for a little bit so now it's good to have the room again and not have to worry about monthly payments lol
09-01-2009, 04:31 PM
wondering if my family would be offended if I farmed out my womb for 9 months for somewhere around $25,000.00...
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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