I wrote a story.

[doktor]

It all started so long ago, in a cabin built on the edge of cliff. My friend, mentor, and inventor of fire, Jedi Hans, built that cabin as cabin-like as he could get without his no arms. NO ARMS HE HAD! And that is the story I shall tell you

Once my he had lived in town, and what a shit town it was, Jedi decided it was time to leave that horrible place and so he stripped off his clothes and ran into the woods naked as the day he was born.

He ran through the trees for three days until he collapsed in a clearing, and in this clearing was a lion. Jedi, still exhausted from running for 3 days challenged the lion, he strangled the lion with his bear hands then headbutt till it died. He ripped open the lion, emptied it, and climbed inside. He made the skin into a suit which he wore every second of everyday. He spent the next week or so banging hot lionesses, eating and strangled and headbutting anything he wasn't balls deep in, most of which were buffalo and more gee deeed lions, it's like holy shit there's too many lions here.

As he spent his days living like an animal he eventually thought he was one.
It was very sad actually. He found his way back into town eventually as a mindless rodent of Satan's fury. He began stealing things, like songs from the interwebs, and glances. However he was caught red-pawed by the Sheriff, not knowing, in all honesty, what to make of this lionman. So he cut off his arms. His own arms, he was THAT confused by Lionman. Then Lionman became the sheriff. Crime ceased almost immediately.

I say almost because like always, there is someone who is slow. They paid with their lives and anal virginity, as Lionman raped and decapitated them at the same time. Lionman brought forth a new era of peace with nature during this time. People started looking out for each other and marrying beavers, mostly for the money. But then, tragedy struck one day when Lionman was patrolling Mane Street. The Piranhas decided they had been gettin a raw deal recently and started fighting back.

They built a large barrel on treads and began going around eating people bt tricking them to dive into the barrel. Lionman knew only one way to stop them. By strangling them. He pounced on the barrel, trying to find its throat to strangle, but alas all he did was tip the barrel over and fall amongst the gasping piranhas. Seeing the real threat he began strangling the piranhas themselves!!! However the biggest advantage the piranhas has was Lionman couldn't strangle them all at once, and he dare not attempt to rape them. So as he killed one they ambushed him tearing into his arms and devouring them. As he bled everyplace and waved his stumps in rage he stamped the remaining fish, killing them all. At what cost though, at what cost?

The shock of losing that much blood was enough to bring him back to reality and for the first time in about a month or so, climbed out of his lionsuit and wandered, naked and drenched in own blood and bile back into the wild...

[-Jiggy-]

I read the first paragraph and refuse to go any further you hippie bastard.

[doktor]

I'm hardly a hippie...

[Queenie]

[doktor]

Where's YOUR story?

[potthole]

http://www.talonse.com/audioinsults/ThisSucks.wav

[Mad Dog]

[drop]Daddoooo Suupaaaaa bowwwww!!!![/drop]

[beckyp]

Where's YOUR story?

Doktor sucks at story writing.

the end.

[Rock Monster]

Where's YOUR story?

Doktor sucks at story writing.

the end.

8-)

[doktor]

And you suck at trolling.

the end.

[Rock Monster]

And you suck at trolling.

the end.

That's a bad thing?

[dingdongyo]

And you suck at trolling.

the end.

say "troll" more.

or post more stupid stories no one cares about. same idea.

[doktor]

Ok.

Troll More, faggots.

[krystal]

I smite thee because this entire topic is retarded.

[Howie Feltersnatch]

Ok.

Troll More, faggots.

See Dick Post. See Dick Flame. See Dick Get Banned. Don't Be A Dick

[doktor]

I smite thee because this entire topic is retarded.

I'm heartbroken because Karma means SO MUCH. ;D

[krystal]

It's not the act, but the thought that counts. Like Christmas.

[doktor]

Hardly.

[krystal]

[. . . ] built that cabin as cabin-like as he could get without his no arms. NO ARMS HE HAD! And that is the story I shall tell you


[. . . ]he strangled the lion with his bear hands then headbutt till it died.

How can someone with no arms strangle something with his bare [sic] hands?

[doktor]

Everything past the first paragraph is a flashback.

[krystal]

I hope you were on shrooms at the time.

[doktor]

If i was on shrooms, i probably couldn't find the right keys to type it up. But no I was just in a really silly mood.

[krystal]

It hurts my brain.
But this line made me giggle:
"paid with their lives and anal virginity"

[doktor]

Moral of the Story:
You don't mess with Jedi Hans...

I have actually written serious things before so none of my other works are like this one.

[krystal]

Good to know. B/c this one made you sound like a fifteen year-old sci-fi geek.

[doktor]

Well That's only HALF true.

[krystal]

I'm thinking the sci-fi half.

[potthole]

I just figured this out... Doktor is actually David Mayo! That explains all the half-assed crappy posts!

[doktor]

@krys: yep

@potthole: Who?

[boizalynne]

Moral of the Story:
You don't mess with Jedi Hans...

I have actually written serious things before so none of my other works are like this one.

Do you live in your moms basement?
Do you play DN'D on the weekends?
Do you masturbate to naked photos of Star Trek Chicks?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then I have successfully pegged who you are in this society...

[krystal]

Hahaha.

[Titan!]

[. . . ] built that cabin as cabin-like as he could get without his no arms. NO ARMS HE HAD! And that is the story I shall tell you


[. . . ]he strangled the lion with his bear hands then headbutt till it died.

How can someone with no arms strangle something with his bare [sic] hands?

You used the [sic] incorrectly. In the original story he used the word "bear" which was the incorrect word, when quoting someone using an incorrect meaning or spelling, you use their original misspelling/misusage and then add the [sic] showing that they are stupid, and you are smart enough to recognize their stupidity. Also it's usually italicized.

[krystal]

At the law firm I work for when we correcting opposing counsel, we correct and [sic] to notate their error.

[Titan!]

well that's incorrect

[Rock Monster]

Photo Bitch is right on this one.... according to wiki anyway.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sic

[Titan!]

Thanks Rock Bitch :o

[Rock Monster]

I think I may start calling everyone bitch...

Photo Bitch
Queen Bitch
Plunger Bitch
Bitchersnatch
AlyBitch
JoBitch

[Howie Feltersnatch]

Bitchdong

[Titan!]

I think I may start calling everyone bitch...

Photo Bitch
Queen Bitch
Plunger Bitch
Bitchersnatch
AlyBitch
JoBitch

I dare you to call her Queen Bitch

[Rock Monster]

Jiggy Bitch