FT3: Top ways you've injured yourself

[0rz0ski]

You know the drill...'fess up to your best self-inflicted injuries!

[Howie Feltersnatch]

I think it's just best injuries, not necessarily self inflicted...


Age 5 - Twist fractured my elbow while break dancing to Micheal Jackson
Age 3 - 5 stitches when I ran head first into a pickup truck, splitting my head open
Age 14-15 - Made my inner left bicep look like hamburger when i was cloths-lined off a speeding motorcycle by a dog chain, the kind that has open loops that sorta creates barbs.

[krystal]

I only have 2 off the top of my head. If I can think of another, I'll add it.

2) Age 14ish: Fell down a set of concrete stairs, landing on my head. Wasn't even concussed.

1) Age 5-6: Inch long thorn + eye socket. I was little and for some reason was carrying a small stick off of whatever tree that is that has those crazy-long (at least an inch long), skinny (think stilleto) thorns. Needless to say I fell. On top of it. It went all the way into the corner of my right eye socket. To this day i don't understand how it missed my eye.

[Allyson]

I didn't injure myself much so mine are few and lame:

2. When I was 12 I was swimming along the bottom of the bay and unbeknownst to me there was a broken off piece of wood where a fencepost used to be, and I swam right over it creating a huge gash the length of my boob and I still have a scar.

1. When I was 13 I hung out with the cool kids on our BMX bikes in the bike jumps in the woods. I mostly just made out with the boys but one day I decided I would try a jump. I landed with two wheels on the ground, but my unstable handlebards bent forward and I went toppling over them face first.

[Howie Feltersnatch]

Honorable Mention for me:

within a week while doing work around the house I:

used a cordless drill to punch a hole in my left hand
used a gnarly toothed wood-saw to nearly cut my left thumb off
and smashed my left hand with a hammer

[burnking]

1. Growing up, I lived on a cul-de-sac. Apparently it used to be fun to get all the neighborhood kids together and ride our bikes around the circle. A house was being built and on this fateful day, a trailer that was used to transport a bulldozer was parked on the outer edge, you know, where the houses are. Well, I had my head turned to talk to one of the other kids when I had apparently strayed too far to the outside and slammed into the trailer. My face proceeded to kick forward and smash into the handlebars, the momentum causing me then to flip right over and land flat on my back on the trailer. I was immediately taken to the hospital where they discovered that when when my face hit the handlebars, it hit with enough force to literally bend my bottom front teeth back at a 45 degree angle, and the doctors had to brace my head and pull them back into place.

2. Playing basketball. That's all. From basketball I have had more sprained ankles than I can count, the only stitches I have ever needed, dislocated my shoulder a handful of times, and a knee problem that doctors have dismissed as, "we admit you have an issue, but have no idea what it is or how to fix it. Good luck."

I'll try to think of a third.

[potthole]

1. The Hatchet- When I was probably 13 I was out camping with my dad and brother. I was using a hatchet to chop up some firewood. On one particularly hard chop the hatchet just nicked the side of the log, sending it off at an angle... right into one of my toes.

Thankfully the blade was rather dull, so it "only" happened to dig in maybe a quarter of an inch.


2. The Bike- Another camping trip, this time when I was around 10. My cousins were with me and we traded bikes. The bike I got was one where the brakes were on the handle... I had never used a bike like that, mine were always the kind where you just pushed back on the pedals to brake. We rode up to the top of this big hill that overlooked the pond at the camp ground and decided to race down it.

About halfway down the hill I started to get scared because I felt like I was going too fast. By instinct I started to push back on the pedals to slow down, but of course they did nothing. In my panic to try to remember how to use the brakes I didn't notice the big log in front of me. I hit it, causing me to get thrown over the handlebars of the bike. Both the bike and I started to bounce/roll down the hill. We came to a stop right in the middle of the boardwalk to the pond- right in the middle of a crowd of people.

3. The Snowboard- In middle school I got big into snowboarding and joined the ski/snowboard club at school. We'd go out to the local ski place once a week after school. One day while we were out there all of us who would snowboard were at a jump and trying to show off to one another.

I was the new guy, so I knew that I had to impress the rest of them, so I hit the jump as fast as I could. I was launched into the air higher than I ever had been before and I stuck the landing. Only thing was, when I landed, I landed sort of funny, and it felt like I ripped my groin in half. The pain was so bad that I could barely manage to stand, but of course, I had to look cool and tough in front of these guys. So, rather than stop and come back to watch the others go, I just kept on going down the slope. I raced to the bottom of it and got myself 'lost' in a big line of people waiting to get on the chairlift. Immediately I fell to the ground and waited for the pain to subside. Took about ten minutes, but I was finally able to stand again, at which point I went back up the hill to rejoin the others.

[krystal]

Oh, I remembered my #3:

Approx. 18: I had to go outside and get something for my dad out of his truck. I was raining out and I was wearing flip flops. As I was running back into the house, my foot lost traction with the shoe and I slid into one of the stairs. I've had a slight dent and bump on my shin ever since.

[Wiener Poopie]

I mostly just made out with the boys...

My neighborhood was so boring!!!

[Howie Feltersnatch]

I mostly just made out with the boys...

My neighborhood was so boring!!!

Ha ha, we had the FIP girls on the scooter that drove by one time, and you hollered for them to go back to Illinois...remember?

They replied with:
"fuck off"

[0rz0ski]

1) My sister threw a can of hairspray at my face because "She thought I would catch it". Split my top lip open and I had to spend an hour in the ER next to a kid that the nurses were questioning because of a possible sexual abuse by the father or babysitter. Still have a scar.

2) Dropped a bench on my foot in middle school. I'm stunned I didn't break any bones, and I never told my mother about it because she would have beat my ass for being stupid.

3) I was taking care of the class pet during christmas break, it was a golden hampster, and the fucker bit off a chunk of my finger. I also took two bee stings for some idiot girls at girl scout camp who pissed off a bee hive. I still have scars from that too.

[sunshyne]

1) when I was 9 i was being chased by a boxer(dog) while riding my bike. I turned a corner too close, my wheel stuck in the dirt, the dog hit my bike, I flew over the handle bars and hit the pavement. I scraped my shoulder to the muscle, scraped my cheek and broke my wrist.

2) I've told this story before, but anyway, I was repairing the panel that hold the motor for the seat in my old car. I needed a couple of washers and bolts. My dad always kept spare stuff like that in the cabinet above his workbench in metal cookie tins. On his workbench was the marine battery that we used to power the electric motor for our little boat. I pulled the tin full of heavy washers, nuts and bolts out of the cabinet, gravity took a hold of it and the metal cookie tin landed perfectly on the positive and negative posts on the battery, completing the charge. Sparks flew, metal melted, and i laid on the floor for a little going "ow, ow, ow"

3) when I was in college, getting my useless art degree. I was working on a photo project at 1am, probably the day before it was due. I had to cut foamcore frames for all of my work with an exacto knife. I was cutting with my right hand and holding the foamcore down with my left. The blade caught on a rough edge, i pulled harder, it slipped. I cut right allong my thumb on my left hand. I grabbed it real quick saying"its not that bad, its not that bad" got to the sink, turned on the water, let go of my thumb and blood started spraying everywhere. "oh god! it IS that bad!" I wrapped it up in a washcloth and held it tight to stop the bleeding. I decided to not drive myself in case i passed out so I called a friend. I had the bleeding stopped by the time we got to the admittance nurse. she had me take the washcloth off, she separated the cut and I said "thats my bone!?" she said "yep".
I watched as they put 10 stitches in. they told me I did a good job because i had missed the tendons and the growth plate.

[Wiener Poopie]

#1.-#2.-#3. One time I stubbed my toe on a coffee table…

[Howie Feltersnatch]

#1.-#2.-#3. One time I stubbed my toe on a coffee table…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V01-ZOeuBMo[/youtube]

[Queenie]

1. I had just gotten off the Buffalo River last year late in the afternoon, and had been drinking since about 7:30 am that morning. I'm not really sure why they sent me into the store to get more beer (but then again, I probably volunteered). I went to open the door and just jerked it back right into my mouth. I never skipped a beat and kept walking in the store, right to the beer fridge and then to the checkout. The clerk says, "ma'am are you okay?" and I said, "yeah, but you need to control that attack door!"

2. When I was around 8 or 9 years old, my bike was messed up but my friend said she'd double me on her bike. A fire truck went by where we were playing in the neighborhood and we took off after it. We were on its bumper going down a hill and Patricia decided to go around it only to be met by a VW van. I got scared and slammed on the brakes for which she was not prepared. We both went over the handlebars and ate pavement.


3. During that same time period, when I lived in a neighborhood in Nashville, we used to play tag behind my "boyfriends" house. One day while we were playing, I ran under a pine tree that had a branch broken on straight downward. My head caught that stub and I remember it hurting very, very badly. There was a lot of blood too.

[zdunklee]

Age 20 - Twisted my ankle playing paintball at college nationals at Disney...boy did it blow to not be able to have fun in Florida in the spring...

Age 19 - Threw my back out while picking up a pumpkin to throw it out after halloween....seriously an effing pumpkin...

Age 10 - Broke my arm in two while playing tackle football at a friends house......but we won the game.....totally worth it.

[doktor]

Age- 19-20
Contusion in right shin during Pugil Sticks in Boot Camp. Had to run around on it too because my group was being retarded..every footfall felt like a knife stabbing me.

Age- ?
Attacked by my friend's dog.

Age- "Young"
went under a trampoline to get a football and someone jumped on it while i was under there. Broke my big toe.

[burnking]

Just wanted to add in a third. I've totalled 3 cars over the 10 years I've been driving. The first and last were fairly insignificant, as I had minor injuries, scrapes, bruises, but the middle job was rough. I was driving home for winter break from college. Part of my drive is through a valley that gets a little more inclement weather than the rest. There was a light snowfall, but it wasn't really coating the roads, so I was cruising along, not a care in the world. I should've known better. All of a sudden, I hit a patch of black ice and my Pathfinder's back wheels kick out, sending me hurtling off road towards a small ditch followed by an incline. I fly over the ditch without a problem then slam into the hill. Onlookers told me I rolled 4-5 times, finally coming to rest on the driver's side. Fortunately, I only had a deep cut on my chin and a dislocated shoulder.

[Mad Dog]

It was my job to carry wood into the house and since it was starting to get cold (it was football season).In the morning before school, it was dark and we were out of wood for the house, so I went out to the work shop, which had a two foot step in the middle of it from the storage area to the work shop floor, to see if there was any wood left in the shop. Jumping down from the storage shed to the work shop floor my right foot landed on a 6 inch nail, right in the arch of my foot. I felt it sticking out the top of my foot. It barely missed breaking the skin on the top of my foot. The funny thing was that I never missed a day of football practice because of it, although I was emptying the blood out of cleats and taking about a 7 extra-strength aspirin's to get through practice.

[Letterbomb316]

I only have one...

First off, I'm a huge puss, so that should explain some of this. I was at my house changing my clothes and I went to push my dresser drawer shut with my foot and... well... you see where I'm going with this. Zane is still a girl.

[burnking]

I only have one...

First off, I'm a huge puss, so that should explain some of this. I was at my house changing my clothes and I went to push my dresser drawer shut with my foot and... well... you see where I'm going with this. Zane is still a girl.

Did you really injure yourself this way or was this just a poor attempt at getting some laughs?

[Mad Dog]

Broke my left arm in sixth grade "stump jumping" through a water logged woods, not wanting to get my new tennis shoes wet, going to my grand mothers house. I fell and my arm went into a pile of brush weird. At first it just went numb and I couldn't move my hand. I started just wading through the water, I quickly fell on my ass and then my arm was in shear agony. I actually wound up falling twice before I finally got to the house. It took six hours laying in the hospital emergency with out pain killers befor I went into surgery.

[Mad Dog]

My first year out of High school, I had a girlfriend who's father owned a pair of quad runners. He let me drive them when ever I wanted to and they had a quad run with sand runs and small jumps build in. I was a complete quad runner novice and for the first couple of weeks of riding it took it very careful. But as I got better and better at riding the thing I got more and more daring. Finally I was launching the thing up the dirt ramps and having a blast. On my last run ever I hit the ramp going almost full speed and it ran straight up in the air then nosed straight down. I was instantly afraid I was going to flip the machine and it would land all 300lbs straight on my back. So in a desperate attempt to avoid breaking my back, As I landed I stuck my foot on the ground and pushed back. It worked. Barely. But the problem, I soon found out, was that the rear tire ran up on to the back of my ankle and calf, squashing them together like a leg/ foot sandwich. I didn't break it, but I couldn't walk for a month without crutches either

[Queenie]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Mad Dog was/is accident prone. :wtf:

[Mad Dog]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Mad Dog was/is accident prone. :wtf:

I've got more.

[Queenie]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Mad Dog was/is accident prone. :wtf:

I've got more.

I never would have guessed!