Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - Printable Version +- CDIH (https://www.cdih.net/cdih) +-- Forum: General Discussion and Entertainment (https://www.cdih.net/cdih/forumdisplay.php?fid=4) +--- Forum: The Pit (https://www.cdih.net/cdih/forumdisplay.php?fid=9) +--- Thread: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) (/showthread.php?tid=12747) Pages:
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Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-25-2007 I am in negotiations right now to be both: A) The Mike Sloan/Jeff Gross of UFC.com - I will get Sherdog for unlawful IP banning, I will see them subjugated to my rapist's wit and decimated by my fusionable & fissionable literary phonetics B) The Gene Siskel of porn - first secure free unlimited VOD as their film reviewer & later parlay it into a multi-million dollar contract. I'm causing vapors, now I'm doin capers, because it's all about the papers. Actually A has no chance and I might as well yell my proposal down the street, but I think we got a serious chance on B - ongoing correspondences, samples being analyzed, conditions set. Out of tribute to this board and being such good sports by allowing me to dump my brain, cut my teeth, and practice my chops (I've been banned from like 5 boards over the past couple months - via baseless, unfair, & sometimes manufactured pretexts of course, that is unless being smarter than someone is a legitimate excuse - now granted I then called that someone and his/her mother a cocksucker but nonetheless unfair), my moniker as a reviewer and/or analyst with be "DiggityDog" if I can help it. My fame and riches, our private joke. Who sez worthless knowledge and insanity never helped anyone? Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - Galt - 09-25-2007 You realize you are going to have to review gay porn too, right? Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-25-2007 Galt Wrote:You realize you are going to have to review gay porn too, right? Biggity diggity.... BAM Quote:Apologies for the repetition. Not trying to rush or bother, but I wasn't sure which email to send this so I wanted to be as diligent as possible to give myself the best possible chance. Further I wanted to add one final caveat per my proposal below. I won't do gay films or hopefully not even accidentally click on one. Not that I have anything against them, it's just that I do have something against projectile vomiting....blood. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - Galt - 09-25-2007 I'm most looking forward to the crushing letdown which will ensu when you find out that the thing you've been pinning your hopes to in order to lift you up out of your most recent doldrums falls to pieces, and you don't get the job. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-25-2007 Galt Wrote:I'm most looking forward to the crushing letdown which will ensu when you find out that the thing you've been pinning your hopes to in order to lift you up out of your most recent doldrums falls to pieces, and you don't get the job. I knew I liked you for a reason. That cunt hasn't totally lobotomized your balls I see. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - Galt - 09-25-2007 Nothing's ever going to get better in your life. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-25-2007 Yeah, thanks for the newsflash. It's like I'm 12yrs old all over and crying in my room cutting myself. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - HedCold - 09-25-2007 do i get some sort of credit for encouraging more porn reviews? Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-25-2007 HedCold Wrote:do i get some sort of credit for encouraging more porn reviews? I will make oblique references that only you will understand, Matt. The doorway to my success must at least have a place to wipe my feet. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - HedCold - 09-25-2007 but, my name isn't Matt Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-25-2007 I take it back. I will make oblique references that NOBODY understands. Anyway this is all pointless. Pretty soon I will be fucking porn stars and everything else will be white noise. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - Goatweed - 09-26-2007 will we get to preview the reviews here? Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-26-2007 If more than you gives a flip, I'll just link to them in a thread or something - if it even happens & they get back to me that is. I think galt's right though, they might want the homo stuff done up too and in that case fuck it, I'll just keep paying my $50 for 600 minutes each day like everyone else. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-26-2007 Nipples larger than a silver dollar and/or darker than a cockroach make me fucking sick. Just a thought that might come in handy one day. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-26-2007 So, I think we might have a deal! Some guy emailed me and told me he gave me 600 minutes and to email him what I do this week. However.... Someone, who I am hoping is someone other than that dude (diff email addy), sent me some fucking criticisms and in essence called me an ass. Well, this unwholesomeness can't stand and I might have to take 600 minutes out on someone's "ass" indeed: Quote:Dude (& Another Person?), Now all I need is Dana White to reply and I am in like a dirty movie. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-27-2007 Quote:1024 Minutes Remaining. My free time is still there but I will give this 24 hours before I claim victory. Free VOD, with nearly unlimited, lifetime potential. Beat that. I could scam the panties off a nun, but seriously I will be the world's first renowned pr0n reviewer. People will turn to me and my columns to know that bears do indeed piss in the woods. Producers will send me broads to try to buy my approval & glowing reviews. Now I know what Tony Montana felt like looking at that blimp. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - HedCold - 09-27-2007 seriously, just a little credit? Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - Galt - 09-27-2007 After that email, you will never hear from that guy again. A rambling, incoherent "I'm right, you're wrong, I'm going to completely ignore your feedback, and you'll realize that I'm right after you read this" is not quite the response he was looking for. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - The Jays - 09-27-2007 That, and, calling an opportunity an "oppt" doesn't help the cause. I was hoping maybe a cdih.net plug, get some fresh blood in here. Re: Me = Future Star (and you can say it all started here, knew) - diceisgod - 09-27-2007 I make my own rules. I still have +1000 mins. If I don't hear from him then I continue and do as promised this week, until the minutes stop being replenished or disappear before then. If they were looking for a monkey to write cookie cutter reviews that "have nothing to do with my personal tastes", then my dick, their mouth, they connect the dots. BTW there is nothing incoherent about that email except for a stray "I" somewhere I believe. If you read that and say you don't understand it, you're trying to bust balls or you suck at reading. And so what if I use some short cuts, couple miss spellings, etc. I ain't applying for the CEO position and see my first sentence here. |