The Next Best Thing Experience

Next Best Thing · 10-28-2006, 01:52 AM

I'm sorry folks, but I refuse to divulge which member of the fag board hooked me up with this picture, no matter what.

GonzoStyle · 10-28-2006, 01:54 AM

who cares

Luna · 10-28-2006, 01:59 AM

Does Dawn look like a pad person or a tampon person?

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 07:38 PM

It's good to see other threads of this genre popping up. Of course, you can never top the original.

faceman802 · 10-30-2006, 07:42 PM

yeah you can

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 07:50 PM

Today's comment on the Next Best Thing Experience comes from the world of sports. The thing is a huge New York Giant fan, and i mean a real fan, not one of these fucking phonies like many of you who pretend to be authorities on sports. For perspective, please be advised that the first Giant number 1 draft pick that The Thing was legitimately excited about was troy Archer, who was a man-eating DT from Colorado State drafted by the Giants in the middle 70's. The rest of this thought will be continued on my next message.

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 07:54 PM

Anyway, where i'm going with this is something that I noticed in last night's Dallas-Carolina game. No forget about the actual result of the game, it was simply window dressing when you consider that this was a game played between 2 fucking pretenders who are just there filling up space and ultimately frustrating their fucking dweeb fans. The real story was Bill Parcells. Parcells is normally the human version of an elephant seal, which means he regularly checks in at somewhere between 350 and 400 pounds, or around the average weight of the female members of the fag board. I'll continue this on my next post in this thread.

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 08:00 PM

So what I couldn't help but notice about Parcells last night was that in addition to looking lifeless and disinterested, the bastard appears to have lost what has to be close to 100 pounds of blubber off his carcass. To me, there can be only one rational explanation for how this happened - disease. I'm thinking Parcells has metasthatic liver cancer, although I'm open to suggestion as to what other terminal illness is eating away at him. Does Parkinson's Disease do this to people? MS? AIDS does but I'm not sure how Parcells could possibly have contracted a fag disease at his age.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents for Monday, October 30, 2006.

Thank you for your attention, and I love you all.

Abster · 10-30-2006, 08:12 PM

I can't respond to you while you're wearing that avatar.

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 08:15 PM

Try to overlook it, it's something I have no control over. God made me do it.

GonzoStyle · 10-30-2006, 08:18 PM

so you were a giants fan before many of us were even born, you scare me now.

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 08:19 PM

Yes I was.

I have attended every postseason Giant game in Giants Stadium. I have attended Giant games at the Yale Bowl, as a matter of fact. My favorite all time Giant is the great Phill Simms.

Abster · 10-30-2006, 08:21 PM

The same God that gave The Tuna this debilitating disease and the same one that let Gang Green get screwed over yesterday? I can't overlook things like this.

faceman802 · 10-30-2006, 08:21 PM

This is gay

GonzoStyle · 10-30-2006, 08:21 PM

Greatest giant of all times is Eli Manning, shows how much you know, old guy.

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 08:21 PM

Instant NBT trivia:

The Thing's favorite Giant WR as an adolescent? Walker Gillette, #85.

faceman802 · 10-30-2006, 08:22 PM

jeff rutledge was da bomb

GonzoStyle · 10-30-2006, 08:23 PM

Eli is the truth

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 08:24 PM

faceman802 Wrote:jeff rutledge was da bomb

Rutledge had the Seattle game won in the '83 season finale, if it weren't for a bullshit Pass interference call fucking everything up. True fact.

Next Best Thing · 10-30-2006, 08:26 PM

Abster Wrote:The same God that gave The Tuna this debilitating disease and the same one that let Gang Green get screwed over yesterday? I can't overlook things like this.

The Jets are better off losing as many games as possible and angling for a top 5 draft pick. The worst thing that can ever happen to a shit team with no foundation is to start reeling off 7-9 seasons.