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Posted By	Discussion Topic: MARTIAN JOKES A LA OPIE
imapervert I want my two dollars!	posted on 04-16-2001 @ 10:52 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	What's the difference between a Martian and an Irishman? An Irishman is still standing after 41 shots.
JasonFromRiverEdge	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 12:02 AM
Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01	A Martian and his Pluto Rican friend are in a car together. So who's driving? THE COPS Graduate of JBU. (JOEY BIGARMS UNIVERSITY) JWO FOR LIFE!
Fyfetallica	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 6:22 AM
Psychopath Registered: Aug. 00	-What do you call a Martian with acne? Krackel -What else cant you give a Martian? a black eye -What is the shame in 2 martians driving off a cliff in a lincoln town car? You can fit like 7 martians in a town car -What do you call two Martians on motorcycles? Chocolate Chips -How do you stop baby martians from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling -What do you say to a martian in court? Will the defendant please rise -Why is a martian so tall? Cus his Knee-gro's A man lies in his bed in a room with no door He waits, hoping for a presence, something, anything to enter After spending half his life searching He still felt as blank as the ceiling at which he stared He is alive, but feels absolutely nothing, so is he? :)Official UN-Official Newbie father to radio-star and Claire:) This message was edited by Fyfetallica on 4-17-01 @ 6:31 AM
TeenWeek what's a status?	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 7:09 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	How are Martians and apples similar? -They both look best hanging from a tree. If a bus full of Martians goes off a cliff and that's a shame, what's a damn shame? -An empty seat
King f-tard	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 8:22 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01	DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING Official driver of the Tart Cart (Helmets are in the back) I thought we were all just having fun... Now GRADUATED by Ronreddog - I'm touched (but not by YOU)
ThreeFan	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 10:05 AM
Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00	50 years ago, you saw a group of white boys chasing a martian, they were called the KKK. Now what do you call them.....PGA Tour What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating?......Drop it Martian! This message was edited by ThreeFan on 4-17-01 @ 10:21 AM
Ykpainitz	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 1:30 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Apr. 01	Why do martians keep their fists closed when making the "black power" sign? If they held out an open palm, they'd fall out of the trees. What do you call a french martian? Jacques Custodian How is transportation being improved in Harlem? They're planting the trees closer together.
ThreeFan	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 1:54 PM
Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00	One day a robot salesman calls on a farmer with 1000 acres to tend. He tells him that his new robots will do anything they're told, and will cut the farmer's work time in half, if not more. So the farmer buys one to try it and sure enough, he got more work done than ever before. The farmer ordered 12 more - life was great. One day, a State Trooper approached the farmer and told him that with all of the shiny robots working in his field on the side of the road, the glare was blinding drivers and was causing many accidents. So, the farmer took the robots and painted them all dark brown. Next day....no robots showed up for work. Ding, Ding, Ding.
STATIC SHOCK	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 4:40 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Feb. 01	What's the difference between a Martian and an Italian? None,they are both Martians
geedagreek	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 6:48 PM
Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00	what do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 martians? COACH what about 10 martians? QUARTERBACK what about 2000 martians? WARDEN YADDLE DOODLE SNARLINSAAH!!! official drunk driver of the fuck truck.... i'm still here sean...:-)
Lazy Boy	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 7:43 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 01	How do you know if a martian gave your girlfriend oral sex last night? - She has more pubic hair than she did yesterday. "You're a ditzul...charcoal brickett". adopted by DoughBoy & Co.
It rubs the lotion on its skin	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 8:06 PM
Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00	Why do martians hate Asprin? -Cause its white, it works and you have to pick cotten to get it.
dr dirty	posted on 04-17-2001 @ 10:44 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 01	what do you call 1 million martians on the moon? peace on earth. what do you call a ethopian martion taking a shit? a showoff.
HUDSON	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 1:26 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	Swim Coach Martian Jokes: Why are there so few martian swimmers?... Shit generally sinks How do you keep a Martian from drowning?... Take your foot off it's head. GENERAL: Why are condoms not Martian colored? You want them to work don't you? How do you keep a martian from charging?... Leave your wallet at home! What do you call a 1975 plymouth with a Martian in it?... home What do you call a lexus with a Martian in it? ...Stolen What do you call a Martian surrounded by 13 white people?.. Defendant! What do you call a Martian who dials 911?... An undercover cop! How do you distinguish between an honest Martian and a dishonest one?... Like there is a difference! How are a martian that works and a copier that works the same?... Who fucking cares you got both to work! What is the difference between a pregnant martian and a pregnant white woman? People actually care what comes out of the white woman. What do you call a Martian run over by a steamroller?... Pavement! NOTE: I am not Racist against Martians I was raised by a man who was abducted!!!! "Don't you know? A clown can get away with Murder!" -John Wayne Gacy Grabmyjunk in another dimension This message was edited by HUDSON on 4-18-01 @ 1:59 AM
BannerClicker	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 12:05 PM
Psychopath Registered: Dec. 00	Who wins the race through the tunnel? the maritan or the white guy? The white guy b/c the matian stops to spray FUCK YOU on the wall. "Earl..comment?"
OnAKitty	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 1:24 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Apr. 01	wait.....give me a second to get the piss bucket so I can clean up the floor....this is some of the funniest shit I have ever heard in my life.....sitting on the floor laughing my fucking ass off (staining the carpet)! Sorry I have nothing left to contribute at this time - yous haf tooken awl da gooder wons - but fo sho gimme a bit an ill hav sumpin fo yall. still L.M.A.O
ThreeFan	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 1:55 PM
Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00	This just in......... Several NFL Teams are seriously considering painting all of the footballs they use green. Why you ask?...Ever see a martian drop a watermelon?
Bud Dwyer	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 3:45 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Dec. 00	What's the difference between a Martian and a Pothole? You'd swerve to miss the pothole. Adopted by DoughBoy
Mike Rotch	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 7:07 PM
Psychopath Registered: Apr. 01	Q: How many cops does it take to push a martian down the stairs? A: None. He fell. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the street and a dead martian in the middle of the street? A:Skid marks in front of the dog. Here's a regular old offensive one: Q: What's 12 inches long and can make any woman scream? A: Crib death.
HUDSON	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 10:46 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	What do you call a anglo human next to a Martian? Lawyer What do you call a Martian in jail? A start "Don't you know? A clown can get away with Murder!" -John Wayne Gacy Grabmyjunk in another dimension
zootybang	posted on 04-18-2001 @ 11:10 PM
Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00	The martian comes home from the third grade and tells his momma "the kids in the bathroom asked me why i had a bigger penis than them.Is it because i'm a martian?" momma says"No,thats because you're 18" VEOWEB AND GEOCITIES HATE ME God loves you.it's everyone else that thinks you're an asshole. Posting regularly,yet still a lowly lurker. I HAVE NAMED MY HELL,AND IT'S NAME IS "MASSAPEQUA"

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