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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Southern douche bags

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Displaying 26-47 of 47 messages in this thread.
Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Southern douche bags
L|LDickBlack
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 1:49 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 01
LOL "Checkmate"
How about "One 21 inch sattellite dish should suffice dear

New look, same old tool
L|LDickBlack
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 1:53 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 01
How about:
"so son what did you learn in school today?"

New look, same old tool
bluetarp
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 1:53 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Okay, first qualifier, yeah some of that shit was pretty funny. Second qualifier, I would never want to live south of the Mason Dixon line.

However, I have spent almost 1/2 my life in various southern states, and there is a lot of stuff that isn't close to true. I just find it humorous, the assumptions people make about things they don't actually understand. Yeah there is racism in the south, and it is rampant here too. Maybe not quit as in your face, but try to tell me all those jokes that get the inappropriate bell aren't racist. Yes they too are funny, but it doesn't change their racist nature. It is easy to characterize others as being less than you because...Whatever.

I'm not trying to chew anybody out here. But think about the things equally unthinking people of the south say about us, about some of the ridiculous things we in the north do. How about what the Mexicans, or Africans, or Europeans(especially the stinky rude french), or any group that doesn't fit your tiny little world. We all have our predjudices. Once in a while taking a healthy look at ourselves, and seeing the humor there too, can help understand others a little better.

That being said, there were two teams playing football. A team of Italians, and a team of Polish people. It was late in the fourth quarter and no score. A train went by blowing it's whistle. The Polish team thought the game was over, and left the field. Two plays later the Italians scored. Have a nice day!


Ya might wanna wipe off your shoes. Sorry!
1st Sgt. Fil
Stand up straight
Stomach in
Shoulders back
SOUND OFF!!!
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 2:10 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Sean, you hit the nail right on the head.
Funny.

What makes you look over here?
What are you, queer?

The NCO club: SSGT.
Jbravo17, SGT BigBlackFez, and
SGT.URoverWHEREnow






MashedPotatohead
NIGGA PLEASE! All the bitches in here are crazy!
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 2:24 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:

However, I have spent almost 1/2 my life in various southern states, and there is a lot of stuff that isn't close to true. I just find it humorous, the assumptions people make about things they don't actually understand. Yeah there is racism in the south, and it is rampant here too. Maybe not quit as in your face, but try to tell me all those jokes that get the inappropriate bell aren't racist. Yes they too are funny, but it doesn't change their racist nature. It is easy to characterize others as being less than you because...Whatever.

I'm not trying to chew anybody out here. But think about the things equally unthinking people of the south say about us, about some of the ridiculous things we in the north do. How about what the Mexicans, or Africans, or Europeans(especially the stinky rude french), or any group that doesn't fit your tiny little world. We all have our predjudices. Once in a while taking a healthy look at ourselves, and seeing the humor there too, can help understand others a little better.



Sean - How did Trix get back in? ;) ;)

Sig Pic Under Construction

This message was edited by MashedPotatohead on 3-4-01 @ 2:27 PM
Just Jon
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 2:25 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 00
Sean, some funny shit!

bluetarp, you're missing the point. It's all making fun of stereotypes.

"If one stereotype is true, they all are." - Carlos Mencia

-----

E-mail: [email protected]
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 2:28 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
TRUE STORY

I worked for an apparel company that had a plant in Starksville Mississippi. I had to take a trip to help modify some of their systems. I take a fuckin plane that I swore flew with wound up rubber bands, spit and glue holding it together. I finally get there alive. I rent a car and start looking for the plant. Somewhere down the line I get lost in farm country. So I stop to ask directions. Here's pretty much the conversation. I remember it like it was yesterday. Keep in mind the guy spoke with the heaviest southern accents. I barely understood the 3 toothed mother effer.

"xcuse me, how do I get to the plant"
"whellllll!, ya go dahwn da rooad a bit, til ya cum up to da yella house. Don't turn there"
"okay"
"ya gooooh down a bit moooohr, ya gonna see mary louise's haus. Big ol house. can't miss it"
"What does the house look like?"
"I told ya, it's a big ol house. Ya can't miss it"
"okay"
"ya go left at her house, then go daaahhhwn a bit moh. Ya gonna see a big daaawwwg on ya left"
"A what?"
"A big daaawwwggg. ya know a hound. A pooch. Mangie lookin thing. Sleeps oooohn da pawch"
"what if the dog isn't there"
"Dat damn dawg is always there"
"Okay, then what?"
"ya go right at da house wid da dawg, then go down a spell mohr. The plant is down dat road."

:Walked away confused and holding my laughter::

The fucking mentality of southerns amaze me. They use animals as landmarks.


Proud staller of Gary Coleman
Have you seen the dash button?

L|LDickBlack
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 3:31 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 01
LoL its true like the time i went to geogia and the guy told us to turn left on the farm w/ the cows (they all had cows)

New look, same old tool
bluetarp
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 6:38 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Mashed and Just Jon, obviously, you missed the point of my post as well.


Ya might wanna wipe off your shoes. Sorry!
URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-04-2001 @ 9:08 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
i thought of another one while i was at work...

"A BLACK BOYFRIEND!? thats great..im so proud of you son!"

trained by Filzy


crx girl
Newbie! vg Y's me
ugo girl
Limey Mothercocker
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 5:50 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
well, i'm british, and i went to school in north florida aka southern georgia, and my boyfriend's from altlanta, so why don't ya tool on us a little more...;)
it's not all true, but most of it is, although i must say, the biggest redneck i ever met down there was from jersey :)


It's always funny until someone gets hurt,
and then it's just hilarious!!! -- FNM
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. --Victor Hugo
[email protected]
Sean Cold 3:16
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 11:48 AM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
Blue tarp, It was a fuckin joke!

My god, why did I have to read your reply? Who asked you to defile a funny fuckin thread with this inane bullshit?

I thought I was reading the State of the Union!

If you are going to have that hard of a time reading a joke, try not and bother next time! You were so close to rooooning a good thread now shooooo. Go away! Get the fuck out of here!

Mashed: that was some funny shit, I thought we banned him!

And Thats The Bottom Line.....


E-Mail Me


Girl, don't go away mad, Bitch just go the fuck away!!!!


I DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES



This message was edited by Sean Cold 3:16 on 3-5-01 @ 11:53 AM
URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 1:41 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
hahaha, the state of the union. Thank you seancold....now back to the phrases...

"im thinking about getting a cable modem"

trained by Filzy


Sean Cold 3:16
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 2:07 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
here we go back on topic:

no, I don't want that fried.

Sorry, sis, but we shouldn't have sex.

I have a doctrine.....

well, blue tarp, that is a very intresting point that you have made.

And Thats The Bottom Line.....


E-Mail Me


Girl, don't go away mad, Bitch just go the fuck away!!!!


I DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES

URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 2:13 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
"hunting animals is wrong!"

trained by Filzy


URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 5:13 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
i refuse to let this thread die!

"GET ON THE BUS...now that was a great movie"

"yo b!!!!"

trained by Filzy


Sean Cold 3:16
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 5:31 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
how about:


I used cold fussion to make this site

or

I just hate when they play that Tim mcGraw song


And Thats The Bottom Line.....


E-Mail Me


Girl, don't go away mad, Bitch just go the fuck away!!!!


I DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES

URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 5:50 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
"who cares about counrty music anyway"

"hey, check out my new digital camera"

"where is the anti-gun rally?"

trained by Filzy


bluetarp
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 6:04 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
As I said before y'all missed my point. And to prove it to ya...

Today's "Hillbilly" grammar word is: "SENSUOUS"

Now, boy and girls - let's use our new word in a sentence:

"I told my old lady 'sensuous' already up, go get me a beer!"




Ya might wanna wipe off your shoes. Sorry!
URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 6:11 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
"i only have one kid"

"i hated dale earnheart"

trained by Filzy


URoverWHEREnow
Who the hell is this guy?
posted on 03-05-2001 @ 8:28 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
"ya'll gonna make me lose my mind
up in here
up in here
ya'll gonna make me act a fool
up in here
up in here"

trained by Filzy


Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 03-06-2001 @ 10:26 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF...

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their bathtrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your fathermade it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.
You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
You've stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.



E-Mail Me

1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila floor

E-Mail Me

AOL - oanda1027fm


1ST GRAD OF ADOPT A NEWBIE PROGRAM


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Displaying 26-47 of 47 messages in this thread.