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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - If you were to write another members obituary......

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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: If you were to write another members obituary......
Drunken GW
I Pissed on a Church to get this Status.
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 10:46 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
quote:

Drunken GW...found dead on his bathroom floor after apparently getting alcohol poisoning and choking on his own vomit.


Ah yeah, your point barrell boy.

Seems Maynard died twice. Maynard, also known as Gaylligan, was found today naked in his bath tub. Seems he cut a major artery while shaving his legs. So much for waxing.


If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When I die, bury me. Hang my balls from a cherry tree. Let them get ripe and take a bite, and if they don't taste right then don't blame me.


MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 10:53 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
And the "Stinky Rules Award" goes to...
Damn, I can't decide, there are just too many funny ones here..carry on, maybe by day's end we'll have a definitive winner ;)

Lord Magus
I have Cool-Mod-Powers and can read the Cool-Mod-Forum, then I drive home in my Cool-Mod-Car UFC
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 11:20 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
With over 5000 seperate tombstones and
graves, Mavric was placed in the guiness
book of World Records today as his body was
laid to rest.



No! I am NOT a Goth Dude!!
"Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun!"
Arthur Dent
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 11:31 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
Lord Magus was found dead after an apparant suicide. Apparantly he discovered his first and only girlfriend in bed with Sephiroth before he could dispell the Fagus rumors by video taping their "encounter". The girlfriend was quoted as saying "I just prefer the version without glasses."


"When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen

A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button.
Snoteater
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 12:29 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Apr. 01
quote:

Maynard
........was survived and mourned by.......ooops sorry double posted news article.



quote:

BTW, Ken, your obit about me was pretty funny, except....I've never posted a news story tool. You should have left that out and just left the double post thing in there



Maynard=Teenweek???



"Your Ego is a Muscle."
Ken'sPen
[Sarcasm]
Doesn't Live Up To The Hype
[/Sarcasm]
I should have stayed OVER THERE
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 2:11 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
Joey Big Arms
....with medical examiners attributing it to a steroid induced stroke. A close friend Froy had this to say, "It was just so sudden. I was supposed to meet him at the GYM today. I was on my way to the GYM when I got the news. It's so sad. I think I will go to the GYM and work out to relieve my grief......at the GYM".....



This message was edited by Ken'sPen on 11-2-01 @ 3:10 PM
IrishAlkey
Chucky
Official OA.com Homo
Nothing makes me harder than the thought of my lips wrapped around a pulsating cock, awaiting that one second when it will explode with semen, flooding my throat and nostrils until I choke. Jokes on you... This won't be here much longer... BTW: me and Ants have had sex multiple times and I ALWAYS catch.
PORTUGAL CUNT ROCKETTE
Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!!

Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE
[Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm]
"my mod powers are on temporary hiatus"
This status is sponsored by:
P®oJë©T M@¥hέm
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 2:52 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Aug. 01
Drunken GW...

After suffering a fractured skull while standing on first base at a retirement home soft ball game, Drunken passed away early this morning. Witnesses say he was distracted by a man selling Budweiser in the stands above the dugout, and did not see a linedrive heading directly towards his head. His last words were, "HEY BEERMAN!"





I washed my ass, my taint is better now.
Freedom is worth fighting for.
Austin U. Graduate...can't ya tell?
Created by Psycho/Inspired by Greek
Arthur Dent
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:05 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
LiquidIce, also known as the Dick Cheney of OA.com, was found dead today. Many OA.com members were heard to say "LiquidWho?"


"When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen

A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button.
Arpikarhu
Harmless Teddy I wish Maynard was still posting here so I could implant my head up his ass.
Needle dick, bear salesman. I think I'm a revolutionary. Actually, I'm a one trick pony.
I enjoy C&BT
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:07 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Apr. 01
quote:

Froy had this to say, "It was just so sudden. I was supposed to me him at the GYM today. I was on my way to the GYM when I got the news. It's so sad. I think I will go to the GYM and work out to relieve my grief......at the GYM".....


now THATS funny lol

Arpi Karhu Kauppias Forever!!!


AIM- Arpikarhu

FeelMyFunBags
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:20 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

Shelle Bink
.......The funeral home could not get the deceased's legs together and a custom Y shaped coffin was constructed......



Holy shit..LMAO...


AFDude was found dead today, he was 508. Family members say he died shortly after the Red Sox won their first World Series since 1918.


i can't believe my dream is over
i woke up this morning with nothing but light in my eyes
now i'm one with the fools of love
Psst...I am beginning to become almost positive I am going to get what I want...start shaving your legs, you're getting in a skirt whether you like it or not! :)

USA




Drunken GW
I Pissed on a Church to get this Status.
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:37 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
Ken's Pen was found dead today, and it was finally revealed where Ken stored his pen.

Psycho Bitch has been lost, who's to drive men crazy now?

KidA died yesterday...pours some of his 40 oz on the ground This is for my homey.


If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When I die, bury me. Hang my balls from a cherry tree. Let them get ripe and take a bite, and if they don't taste right then don't blame me.


TheGooch
Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh?
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:38 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
Swampjunk
Oh, how we never knew yee

Fez
In a complete depression when he realized that he would never collect his sigpic prize of going into the studio for the next Teen Week...he turned on his Photoshop, and dropped an 8-ball.

Kid A
Swallowing an experimental pill that turns him white, he goes to the bar posing as Sean Cold...only to be jumped and stabbed by Mavric, MojoRisin, Unicron, Drunkboy, Dirty Harry and Stingray. He has a memory thread at Whackbag.

Slash
SmarterChild's program possesses Slash's computer, in revenge for all the confused IM's it got, and strangles poor Slash with the Mouse cord. Slash is sorrowfully missed at all parties.

Lord Magus
Get's lost in Hoboken, never heard from since...declared dead 6 years later. D&D players across the country are still shook up.

Dan
Dan overdoses on Horny Goat Weed, which was curious, because he was supposed to be under the protection of Froy. Froy could not be reached for comment.

Upuauat
Following IP, and continuing his powertrip, he goes to Afganistan and becomes Osama Bin Followuat. He is killed when someone finally realizes he's actually shorter than Grumpy.

Grumpy
Slacked off so much, he actually dies peacefully at his desk...not noticed until his office smells like rotten dwarf-meat. Grump's Mother is still available.



CriticsLoveSnatch
i know better than to ask for a status from you mean ol' mods
Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag
I shall call him mini-FTL
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:41 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:

AFDude was found dead today, he was 508. Family members say he died shortly after the Red Sox won their first World Series since 1918.

so anotherwords, AFDude is gonna live forever? lol

HummerLovin
killed by swarm of satan-spawned mets fans after he defected to becoming a rightious, good yankees fan :)


I want to bleed, show the world all that I have inside
I want to show you all my pain...
I want to scream, let the blood flow that keeps me alive
I want to make you feel the same...
Shelle Bink
True star of the celebrity softball game: the redhead in section 101.
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 3:50 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jul. 01
quote:

That's not nice, Shelle. He only has one big ear, the other one is normal.


ever see him walk? it's funny.. he limps with his one dumbo ear.

quote:

Here lies Shelle Bink...as usual.

Here lies AntsInMyPants...taller lying down than he was standing up.


can i be lying on Ants?

quote:

Is it wrong that I'm proud of this? A couple more weeks and I would've made it to number one...I know it!


If for some reason I can't fulfill my duties, you can fill in on my dates...

quote:

Here lies CLS..

He was killed by a psycho RF Baby



were they having sex?

quote:

Shelle Bink
.......The funeral home could not get the deceased's legs together and a custom Y shaped coffin was constructed......


LMFAOWMLSO!

quote:

4 Star General Gagootz, the most decorated member of the marine Corp in the 21st Century and credited with the death of Bin Ladin, died today at the age of 87 with his rifle Bettsy in hand.



Bettsy wasn't his rifle.

~*~
Brokenjaw died today while in a fatal car crash ... while getting road head. Ironically enough, he was on his way to promote his new movie. Below is a scene from said movie:



((try searching for "one eyed monster" in the google image search sometime.))




Wanna Get Me Wet?
Soon To Be Irish Citizen
THE PENNYROYALS...K-ROCK BATTLE OF THE BANDS WINNER! CHECK 'EM OUT!
Filzy
Stand up straight
Stomach in
Shoulders back
SOUND OFF!!!
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 5:11 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Sean Cold

Was found at his apartment dead. Autopsy revealed that he was killed by his own kindness.
He will be missed.

FROY
The king is dead. Long live the king.


F'n Moron

Died recently from what the Autopsy revealed to be a marijuana overdose. He will be missed.

Upuauat
Dies from an oversized ego. Good riddance.




Ya got a complaint? Well get in FUCKING line and take a number!!!!
Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 5:20 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

he goes to Afganistan and becomes Osama Bin Followuat

That just might be the funniest thig I have heard all day

quote:

can i be lying on Ants?

Why would you wanna lay on Patty's family


ACCEPTING ADOPTION APPLICATIONS CLICK BELOW
LETS GO YANKEES
E-Mail Me
AOL/AIM - oanda1027fm
Ferret
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 8:59 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
Here WOULD lie WNEW's Girl....
But she never really had a life anyway.




Thanks to Brokenjaw for the sigpic

Sports writer for Foundrymusic. Click here to read my NEW column




This message was edited by Ferret on 11-2-01 @ 9:02 PM
zootybang
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 9:37 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
Fuck it. I'll write my own.
"Zootybang, killed tonight in fiery auto crash, trying to drive home drunk from O&A.com board function in South America. His final words before passing were reported to be "Fuckin' Froy. Why do they always have to be so far from the island?"
He is survived by his dog and a half-finished six pack of Sam Adams.




God loves you.it's everyone else that thinks you're an asshole.

Posting regularly,yet still a lowly lurker.

Check out my band at
www.4inthachamber.com
Faceman
...And now the battle between us and them has begun.

JYD-4-LIFE.

posted on 11-02-2001 @ 9:44 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: May. 00
Fingerbang died today of a deflated ego, after he discovered that he wasnt as cool as he really thought he was.

Magus and another unidentified individual died today of suffocation in what apparently looks to be a case of foul play. He was found locked inside a sound-proof atm with the other victim. An eyewitness reports seeing a scruffy-bearded man wearing a Rangers hat fleeing the scene, while muttering "I'll teach that fucker to go into atms with anybody else but me."

quickstop died yesterday while shopping at a 7/11, a victim of an apparent botched robbery attempt. What makes the crime even sadder is the fact that he wasn't even supposed to be there that day.

joe soprano died a violent death today, a victim of a vicious ass-raping by about 14,000 posters of a message board named oa.com. One of the suspects said, "DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE. GET IN THE COFFIN YOU UNFUNNY PIECE OF SHIT" before reportedly getting back on his bike and continuing delivering his chinese food.

Cranky ass was a victim of a hit and run tonight. Eyewitnesses reported seeing a crx drive over him, back up over him, then drive over him again, then back over him and finally drive off down the street, after running him over yet again. The driver was described as a "limey cunt"

About 14,000 posters of a message board named oa.com were apparent victims of food poisoning while attending the 2nd year anniversary party of the web site. While initial details are sketchy, the police were seen arresting a tall, greek woman, wearing a "I love the unicron" t-shirt, who was yelling, "I'll teach you fuckers to make fun of my cooking." The board will continue to be run by the 3 posters, who are also moderartors, that didnt attend the party, opting instead to meet at a diner in Long Island. When asked for a comment one of the mods named slash said, "Now that everyone's gone, whos sig pic dimensions am I going to check now?". Another moderator named virgingrrl said, "bah" and the last moderator left named faceman said, "Hey kid, if you come back from the dead, you can be a mod!":)



I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find A decent melody
A song that I can sing, in my own company-U2





This message was edited by Faceman on 11-2-01 @ 10:44 PM
TheGooch
Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh?
posted on 11-02-2001 @ 9:59 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
FN MORON
Receives a powdery substance in the mail, and thinking it's Opium, Moron smokes high weapons-grade Anthrax


LIQUID ICE
. . .


OPAK
An inbound Opak overdoses on Robitussin, Pot and Everquest one fateful eve. His character still lives on Everquest's servers.


Tenbat
Finally discovered on the board as the moderator named Fez, Tenbat abandoned sig whoring, and ran a cult with other board castoffs like JayMohrBuddy, 500Postsking, UnknownSources, Drunkboy, Danilo, Mavric, Kid A, and Pinknips. They die in flames as the FBI invades their New Jersey compound.


FoundryMusic Jeff
After coding the Foundry site for the 100th redesign, Jeff is stabbed to death by his board ex-girlfriends.


GonzoStyle
After finally winning the Pulitzer prize for his OpieAnthony posts, Gonzo is gunned down by some mysterious man from the Bronx. A calzone is left at the murder site.


Sephiroth
Drove off the rode into a ditch, never realizing gooks can't drive.


FROY
Runs off with Gay Marco, and raises sheep on a farm during the day, and sings showtunes and Bruce Springstein songs at night. They are found steamrolled to death by a loud man with long blond hair, drinking beer, and wearing red flannel boxers.




This message was edited by TheGooch on 11-2-01 @ 10:35 PM
katya_ann
That's Miss Jesus Cooze to you!
posted on 11-03-2001 @ 4:46 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Apr. 01
The best part of wakin' up? Reading a post from Ken.

Fuggin' hilarious. (: <--- dyslexic bitch smile!



Proud to call Gonzostyle my fellow brother in Christ

When I am hungry do I not eat and when I get a nail driven into the back of my skull because the older kids thought it would be fun to shoot me with a nailgun, do I not scream? -- William T Bash
IrishAlkey
Chucky
Official OA.com Homo
Nothing makes me harder than the thought of my lips wrapped around a pulsating cock, awaiting that one second when it will explode with semen, flooding my throat and nostrils until I choke. Jokes on you... This won't be here much longer... BTW: me and Ants have had sex multiple times and I ALWAYS catch.
PORTUGAL CUNT ROCKETTE
Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!!

Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE
[Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm]
"my mod powers are on temporary hiatus"
This status is sponsored by:
P®oJë©T M@¥hέm
posted on 11-03-2001 @ 6:50 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Aug. 01
I thought it was Folger's in your cup?





I washed my ass, my taint is better now.
Freedom is worth fighting for.
Austin U. Graduate...can't ya tell?
Created by Psycho/Inspired by Greek
GonzoStyle
posted on 11-03-2001 @ 10:39 AM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
quote:

GonzoStyle
After finally winning the Pulitzer prize for his OpieAnthony posts, Gonzo is gunned down by some mysterious man from the Bronx. A calzone is left at the murder site.



Now that is fuckin funny, lol priceless. Bravo goochy.

Unicron died today of a broken neck, but he finally suceeded in his life long dream of sucking his own dick. His last words were a mumble of "I am not a virgin." He is survived by his wife Grkqt, who even in marriage wouldn't fuck him.


If I could capture the rage of today's youth and bottle it
Crush the glass with my bare hands and swallow it
And spit it back in the face of you racists
And hypocrites who think the same shit but don't say shit
You Liberaces, Versaces and Nazi's watch me
You motherfuckers wanna judge me cuz you're not me

She-Mail Me Here

Noellevious
Teh cute.
Look at that. You could bounce quarters off of it. Incredible.
posted on 11-03-2001 @ 11:41 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

KidA died yesterday...pours some of his 40 oz on the ground This is for my homey.


Please. Like you'd ever give up some of your 40.


One Nation...Indivisible.

Heaven is missing angels - NYPD & FDNY...Thank you.

I've loved you forever...in lifetimes before...
11. 2. 01.









NJBytch
posted on 11-03-2001 @ 12:31 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Apr. 01
Damn!! There have been alot of deaths lately... I guess that would make me queen of the OA world.
ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!


Warning: I don't play well with others





This message was edited by NJBytch on 11-3-01 @ 12:36 PM


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Displaying 51-75 of 100 messages in this thread.