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Displaying 1-13 of 13 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: How Bush's Speech Should Have Sounded | ||||
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| Shelle Bink True star of the celebrity softball game: the redhead in section 101. | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:20 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jul. 01  | Ok, I dunno if anyone else got this e-mail, but it's worth sharing for a laugh. ******************************* If I were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer by Adam Bomb Good evening, my fellow Americans. First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people. To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression. Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started fucking around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over there in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific, then we roasted about 2 million of them in their own backyard. Now, that's what we in America call a big-ass barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way. Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing. Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of Cub Scouts from taking over his shitty little country. Trust us -- Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel-riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps, and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on other people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses. God bless America  I'm not letting them think they've won, If they think it's over, I'll keep this going til the end, This has only just begun | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:27 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 |  Wanna be the coolest kid on your block? Get an 'I love Froy t-shirt!' Add it to your sig today! Email me at [email protected] | ||||
| Noellevious Teh cute. Look at that. You could bounce quarters off of it. Incredible. | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:29 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 01 | Hmmm...I think that's why "Adam Bomb" isn't president. Under the superior tutelage of FollowThisLogic "God may have mercy on you, but we won't." - John McCain | ||||
| ClusterF@#$ | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:34 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | when you opened your mail... is this what you heard? Open me --> Visit this Website
Message to those concerned with my smoking habit.... mamma didn't raise no quitter. | ||||
| fbdlingfrg wow, my name looks odd without 5 lines of type below it in bold and purple and red G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Red Wings Captain Cecil JBA~Remove the Pick & Click NOW! | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:36 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | LMAO.funny as (a bag fo)hell, cluster why do pople always think we want to read their mail?  | ||||
| Shelle Bink True star of the celebrity softball game: the redhead in section 101. | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:37 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jul. 01 | Nah, my sound is a shot being fired from a pistol, and I'm always disappointed that it's not real. I'm not letting them think they've won, If they think it's over, I'll keep this going til the end, This has only just begun | ||||
I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 3:56 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | ClusterF@#$ thanks I needed a laugh. opieanthony.com; Like a retarded yoyo, you will keep coming back. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" Charles Dickens | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 4:07 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Ok Shelle Dillon Wanna be the coolest kid on your block? Get an 'I love Froy t-shirt!' Add it to your sig today! Email me at [email protected] | ||||
...And now the battle between us and them has begun. JYD-4-LIFE. | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 7:35 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: May. 00 | i got this email today and i thought i had to share it with everyone...How would you like to lose up to 2 pounds a week the healthy way? 1. Eat breakfast, lunch, dinner AND 2 snacks. 2. Delicious foods, easy to prepare 3. Membership, personal profile and counseling, ALL FREE 4. Personalized exercise program Get this simple, convenient weight loss program now! Click here! http://www.qksrv.net/click-385477-1500116 :)  "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country. but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman-Thomas Paine" Now with a new and improved AIM name. IM Faceman713 for all your oa.com needs:) | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 7:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Oh yeah face??? Dear Verizon Online Member, We're excited to announce Spam Detector -- a new spam filtering service available free of charge, which will help you limit the amount of spam that enters your local e-mailbox. Spam Detector will begin working on your Verizon Online e-mail account beginning the week of October 1, 2001, unless you choose not to participate by opting out of this service. You've probably received commercial e-mails from people or companies you've never even heard of; such unsolicited e-mails are typically called "spam." In response to this growing problem, which affects everyone by interfering with the delivery of e-mail, we're launching Spam Detector. To ensure that you'll have plenty of time to learn about the benefits of Spam Detector, we wanted to give you advance notice of this great new service. What are the benefits of Spam Detector? * Significantly reduces spam in your inbox. Spam Detector sorts and diverts unsolicited e-mail intended for your Verizon Online e-mail (@verizon.net, @bellatlantic.net, and/or @gte.net address) account to a distinct and separate e-mail box. * Allows you to regain control of your inbox. Avoid questionable business offers (get rich quick schemes) and sexually offensive e-mails. Re-establish parental control over the types of e-mail your children are exposed to. * Saves you time. Spend less time wading through potentially unwanted messages. You can view and/or delete messages diverted to your Spam Detector mailbox when you choose to do so. These messages will be saved for 14-calendar days, then deleted automatically.* * Frees up valuable space. All e-mail, including spam, takes up valuable PC space. With Spam Detector, your spam messages are stored on our server reducing the clutter on your PC and in your inbox. * Helps avoid e-mail borne viruses. Many computer viruses are attached to spam messages. The less spam you receive, the lower your chances of catching an e-mail borne virus. How does Spam Detector work? Spam Detector uses a monitoring system that consists of "decoy" e-mail accounts from many popular e-mail providers. Since these are "decoy" accounts they should receive no legitimate e-mails. Our e-mail team reviews messages received in these "decoy" accounts. They then create a set of rules to define spam. These rules are constantly adjusted based on the type of spam received in these accounts and through customer input. The rules are then applied to all incoming Verizon Online e-mail accounts that are using the Spam Detector service so we can detect spam as it enters our mail system. Do the spam experts read my private e-mail? No. The experts are monitoring "decoy" e-mail accounts to create the rules. These rules are applied to the Spam Detector server that filters all Spam Detector users' email. No one will read or have access to your personal e-mail. For instructions on how to check your Spam Detector folder and other frequently asked questions (FAQs), visit: https://support.bellatlantic.net/myaccount/spamdetector/faq.html How do I sign up? You don't need to do a thing. Spam Detector will begin working on your Verizon Online e-mail account beginning the week of October 1, 2001, unless you choose not to participate by opting out of this service. How do I enable or disable the Spam Detector service? You can enable or disable the Spam Detector service by visiting our online tool at: https://cgi.verizon.net/spamdetector/default.asp?template=east and following the instructions below. The choices you make will only affect the mailbox associated with the e-mail address you enter; if you have more than one mailbox, each one will need to be entered individually. 1) Enter your e-mail address (for example, [email protected]) in the first window. 2) Enter your password in the second window. 3) Click "Enable" or "Disable." 4) Click Submit. 5) A confirmation of your selection will be displayed. Please note that we have revised the terms of our retention policy under "My Account: Important Information About Your Email Account" to reflect that suspected spam messages are only saved for 14 days; all other email will continue to be retained for 30 days. To see a copy of the entire revised Agreement, please visit : https://support.bellatlantic.net/members/whats_new/epol.html Sincerely, Your Verizon Online Team *This practice differs from our standard policy of saving e-mail messages for 30-calendar days. We will continue to hold your regular e-mail messages for 30-calendar days. Mail identified as "spam" by the Spam Detector service will only be held for 14-calendar days. Wanna be the coolest kid on your block? Get an 'I love Froy t-shirt!' Add it to your sig today! Email me at [email protected] | ||||
| onehung lo434 | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 7:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | I received this gem today. Subj: New Product Gives Women INSTANT Orgasms! gozpy eynyjghv796147167 gozpy Date: Sat, 22 Sep 2001 4:02:04 AM Eastern Daylight Time From: [email protected] To:Me New Scientific-Breakthrough Product brings women instant and very intense orgasms felt from head to toe! Guys.. your woman will see you as a hero. God dammit lol This message was edited by onehung lo434 on 9-22-01 @ 8:04 PM | ||||
| JJ G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Soldier of Fortune Spec Ops Division | posted on 09-22-2001 @ 7:55 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | thats a pretty funny speech. I wish politicians could talk like that and get away with it. ClusterF, good job. 
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