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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: I am not insane!!!! | ||||
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| GonzoStyle | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 4:39 AM |    | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70  | I have recently engulfed myself in a post count race with froy to beat Opaks all time highest post count. I have finally beat opak and I have more posts than anyone. But in all this time I think I may have lost my sanity, actually I just figured it's time for a story to bring back something to the board. I have been suffering from insane illusions and thoughts for a while now. It has gotten progressivly worse as time passed. I started having the strangest fears and I decided to go see a shrink and I made a list of what was bothering me. I got a piece of paper and a pen: being afraid to go near the photocopier because it might grab some of your clothing, suck you into the machine and then photocopy your dying moments. Then not leaving home ever because I am too afraid of having a bird shit on my clothing and embarrassing me in front of others.Also being afraid of wearing clothing because they might suddenly shrink and strangle you. The deciding moment was when I once had a very long philosophical debate with a squirrel on the meaning of the existence of yellow sticky pads that don't stick to anything. I was quite surprised to find out just how philosophical a squirrel can be. So I had gone in to see the shrink, and ended up in the waiting room drinking coffee for about an hour with 4 other people. I asked the lady next to me why she was in here and she said "I have an OCD, I constantly want to tap walls." I asked her how he was helping and she said "We discuss why I feel compelled to touch the walls." I looked at her and said "Why? Just don't do it anymore!" She looked startled and said "Never tried that..." Anyway, I finally was called and I was asked to sit and explain my problems from the beginning. So i explain all my problems, yet he is fixated in me going deeper into a single problem, which I never viewed as a problem. So i begin to explain I wanna an operation to remove the two lower ribs on either side of my rib cage. So I can suck my own cock any time of the day wherever I feel the urge. Problem is though I am afraid losing interest in everything else. Like quitting work, my eggplant pedro leaving me in disgust and suffering from constant lower spinal ache. But it will probably be the finest blow job imaginable. I am even considering having my teeth pulled out for max suction. All he had to say was that I was his idol and he asked me to demonstrate, needless to say I knew it was time to leave. I also figured out that balloon animals hate me. They ran away from me, even the old and blind ones. One even deflated itself. It made that squeaking as it deflated, and now there is a small pile of rubber on the floor. I don't know why they hate me. I try to love them... I went to another shrink and he was so boring that I was far more concerned about the horrible hum that the lights were making. So I mentioned it to him. He seems to think that I was odd. His brow kinda raised at me and he wrote something on the notepad he had. So I shut up. He leaned forward and asked me what I was thinking. I figured this was a trick to make me talk again so I stayed silent. He leaned closer and asked me again louder. So I told him what I was thinking, "if you move any closer I'm going to kick you in the head." Well, he sat back quickly and began writing what I was sure was anti-me messages in his notepad. So I demanded to see them. He didn't like that idea at all. So I snatched them from him. That was pretty much the end of that session. Then I am driving along, and if there are no cars around, then I think that maybe everyone has been wiped off the planet. I could go steal all the cool CDs in the world and smash other peoples shit. Then I could drive their cars around and smash them all up. Then I just went home and figured out I am not as fucked up as I thought, and ran into the squirrel and we had a beer and he is now living with me. We have a very happy relationship and I was growing tired of pedro my new eggplant lover so I have found new love with wally.  "These dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people for the people, shall not perish from the earth." -- Abraham Lincoln She-Mail Me Here This message was edited by GonzoStyle on 10-14-01 @ 4:50 AM | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 4:52 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: Gonads and strife...WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Gonzo, you've lost it.  | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 4:54 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: Was it the removing of the ribs so i can blow myself? Cause wally advised me not to cause he will please me anytime I want. Dude i have not lost it didn't you see all turned out well in the end...I have to go wally is saying it is naked time.  This message was edited by GonzoStyle on 10-14-01 @ 5:02 AM | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 5:02 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: Seriously, you've really lost it. | ||||
| IkeaBoy P.L.F. Portugese Liberation Front- Liberating Status' everywhere from the Tyranny of Portugal I will die a traitor's death | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 5:08 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Sep. 00 | i've always wondered if my fetish for insanity in chicks would transplant itself onto males making it more an attraction towards the illness than an extra coolness on a chick. "I didn't realize how tragic it [the WTC attack] was until the celebrities told me"- Ron Bennington | ||||
| SweetAngel | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 8:31 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: May. 01 | Gonzo, you made me laugh out loud at 8:30 a.m. BEFORE I even had my coffee. Thanks! I love your wacky stories.  Graduated from the Brokenjaw school for newbies | ||||
| King f-tard | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 5:45 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: If I go with you, can we get a group rate on the surgery?? I dont think my insurance will pay for it..  | ||||
| av8er OA.com's taint with wings. | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 5:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: From what I remember of meeting you Gonz, you'd have to remove a little bit more than a few ribs to be able to blow yerself.;)  2 POSITIONS OPEN FOR ADOPTEES [ AIM ] [ ICQ ] [ E-Mail ] "Ahahahhahaha...How sweet...Fresh meat!" - Robert Englund "Could you bend me over the console & say that?" - Jim Norton | ||||
| Kid Afrika | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 5:51 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: Ummmmmmm, yes, you are.
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| TeenSlut | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 10:51 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Apr. 01 | Haha nice story GS. That was very, umm, creative. Thanks for giving me a good laugh!:) Tired moments into pleasure. Say the word and we'll be Well upon our way Thanks 2 tired 2 give N F for the sig pic! | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 10-14-2001 @ 11:33 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: Creative av8er you're just pissed that no matter how many ribs you remove, you couldn't blow yourself with that fuckin scurvy you have. ooh wait the smiley makes it all ok right? :) "These dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people for the people, shall not perish from the earth." -- Abraham Lincoln She-Mail Me Here | ||||
| 2 tired 2 give N F One of the Teen Tomatoe Boys is Retarted... Guess which one I am!!! | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 2:42 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01 | :) = Comdeian's "But I love the guy!" And I find you here, Through your eyes everything's clear, And I fall inside your arms, but I'm alone for now, alone for now... | ||||
| Sean Cold 3:16 | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 7:46 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: Awww, I am getting all misty and shit. :::sniff, sniff::: I was just asking myself "self, whatever happened to DB?" Now knowing that GS is sharing alot more than a home with him, I can put my mind at ease.  | ||||
| Arpikarhu Harmless Teddy I wish Maynard was still posting here so I could implant my head up his ass. Needle dick, bear salesman. I think I'm a revolutionary. Actually, I'm a one trick pony. I enjoy C&BT | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 8:01 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | i am scared. please make the crazy people go away mommy. Arpi Karhu Kauppias Forever!!! AIM- Arpikarhu  | ||||
| Filzy Stand up straight Stomach in Shoulders back SOUND OFF!!! | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 10:02 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | No Gonz, you're not insane. You just have too much spare time on your hands. And stop talking to Squirrels, they never make sense.  There are 3 types of leaders and heroes. Some are born leaders, some are built from the ground up by experience, and some are the right people at the right time. Now accepting two recruits for the revived Armored Division. | ||||
| Drunken GW I Pissed on a Church to get this Status. | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 12:24 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | quote: So what did his notepad scribblings say about you??  If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. | ||||
| Sean Cold 3:16 | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 12:47 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: are you sure you want the answer to that question, GW? I would like for you to take a moment and think of who we are talking about here. Now think of what you might write about him. I don't know about you, but if I did it, I might never be the same again. I know for shit sure I wouldn't be able to talk to GS ever again. | ||||
| King f-tard | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 1:08 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | I think that those notes might make you shiver and curl up in the fetal position at night while rocking and softly crying yourself to sleep. | ||||
| 2 tired 2 give N F One of the Teen Tomatoe Boys is Retarted... Guess which one I am!!! | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 2:22 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: That was the first thing I thought of when GS said he was talking to a squirrel but I feared that even after all the time that has past talking about the Squirrel man might have been a bad move. And I find you here, Through your eyes everything's clear, And I fall inside your arms, but I'm alone for now, alone for now... | ||||
| Sean Cold 3:16 | posted on 10-15-2001 @ 4:04 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: No, when you post at all is when you should consider it a bad move.=) No worries, though. Say, don't you have a FC raping thread you should be attending? Chop, chop, don't keep your fans waiting. | ||||
Displaying 1-20 of 20 messages in this thread. |