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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Sex 101

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Displaying 1-25 of 29 messages in this thread.
Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Sex 101
Arthur Dent
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 6:17 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
Last week, we explored how to find a mate. Now let's explore what to do with them once you get them.

So, what little tricks have you discovered that put your lover into orbit? What did you learn to never, ever try again?

Do: FOREPLAY! FOREPLAY! FOREPLAY!

prototype
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 6:24 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Aug. 01
Make sure the rope is double knoted so they can't get away.:)

USA
Bin Laden is a dead man
Free Northern Ireland
Arthur Dent
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 6:36 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
Proto, that's the advanced class, Sex 102, where we get into Shibari and other Japanese rope technique. ;)
DannyNoonan
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 7:07 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Apr. 01
Pay close attention to a woman's neck and ears.
There, that ought to get the ball rolling, so to speak.


"Where were we, class?...Ah, yes, sex, sex, sex..." - Cleese

Fez
The sky is blue
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 7:19 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Oct. 00
One word:

Chloroform


Wanna be the coolest kid on your block? Get an 'I love Froy t-shirt!' Add it to your sig today!
Email me at [email protected]
Sephiroth
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 7:26 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
I can show you, but i need a few things.


  • A copy of the 1812 overture
  • The Gauntlet of Anubis
  • A Pikachu Doll (preferably Plush)
  • A Crucifix
  • Time, Energy, and Patience.


L33T LIEK JEFFK MOTHERBITCHES

Vengence be thy name. Death be thy Chore. Move swiftly, Move silently and cede thy Wrath.
AIM | E-MAIL | CHAT

PREPARE FOR SCREAMING TEMPORAL DOOM !!

Enigma
Sig Pics of HOT CHICKS and an SU Feed... will wonders never cease?
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 7:53 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
Alcohol should always be involved when closing deals. Beer is all you need for a skank, wine works well with the romantic girl (obviously), and mixed drinks for the girl who isn't sure if she wants to. It's worked for me so far.


MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:16 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
And now a girl's point of view - as far as a trick I've learned - never mind, who needs a trick w/guys, give em a hummer and have sex and they're happy. As far as us women go, alcohol isn't really necessary if you got some moves. Kissing is always a good place to start, especially if you do it well (btw, kissing went out the window after he hooked me and he claims all men can do w/o it), from there your mouth and hands should be exploring, but please, stick to the obvious good spots, at least until you've been at it w/the same person for a while ;)

Oh, and Seph - what? I'd love to see that list w/a lot more detail..

opak
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:34 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: May. 00
Magic fingers is what ya need gents...getting a woman off with just your hand is a LOT of fun...and she seems to enjoy it too

MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:41 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

Magic fingers is what ya need gents...getting a woman off with just your hand is a LOT of fun...and she seems to enjoy it too


Want to come over?

*Disclaimer - All posts are just for fun and do not necessarily represent views of poster*



This message was edited by MomYou'dLikeToF' on 10-24-01 @ 8:51 PM
Kid Afrika
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:48 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
quote:

Magic fingers is what ya need gents...getting a woman off with just your hand is a LOT of fun...and she seems to enjoy it too

Mendi, comment?

I guess the fingers work if your dick ain't up to the job.


And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger
those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know my name is K1d when I lay my vengeance upon you.


opak
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:49 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: May. 00
over...under...on...in...its ALL good :)

Sorry KA...using yer hand on a woman sucessfully takes skill...but ya wouldnt know anything about that now would ya bro?



This message was edited by opak on 10-24-01 @ 8:51 PM
MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:52 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

I guess the fingers work if your dick ain't up to the job.

Hmm, how to answer this without giving away too much? Fingers & tongue=more gooder :)

Kid Afrika
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:56 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
quote:

Fingers & tongue=more gooder

Yeah but tongue cramps hurt. ;)


And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger
those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know my name is K1d when I lay my vengeance upon you.


opak
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 8:57 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: May. 00
Hmmm invites me over then backs me up...

methinks this newbie is a keeper

Arpikarhu
Harmless Teddy I wish Maynard was still posting here so I could implant my head up his ass.
Needle dick, bear salesman. I think I'm a revolutionary. Actually, I'm a one trick pony.
I enjoy C&BT
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 9:06 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Apr. 01
once i drop my pants and show them the hebrew hammer its all good from there. if that fails, quaaludes.

Arpi Karhu Kauppias Forever!!!


AIM- Arpikarhu

MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 9:14 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

if that fails, quaaludes

Hope you have a good supplier ;)

MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 10-24-2001 @ 9:19 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

methinks this newbie is a keeper

Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you, minus the newbie part of course.

red rocket
Secret Sex Chat
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 2:40 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
quote:

So, what little tricks have you discovered that put your lover into orbit?


Hits to the head and body blows.


Our Flag always stands.
God Bless The USA.
LunaBabe
Ok, I know this is all a ploy, but, I'll play anyway.

Dylan? BAH! I've heard BETTER!

JYD-4-LIFE
'Shrooomer
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 2:53 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jun. 01
quote:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------
Magic fingers is what ya need gents...getting a woman off with just your hand is a LOT of fun...and she seems to enjoy it too
--------------------------------------------------
Want to come over?

*Disclaimer - All posts are just for fun and do not necessarily represent views of poster*



Um, Mr Opak...when you are finished with MYLTF, your kind services will be needed over here. ;-)






Wow! Look...It's Moving...should I kill it or put it in a jar?
BOINK
Last Graduate of the, now closed, Brokenjaw School for Newbies

MomYou'dLikeToF'
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 3:05 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

Um, Mr Opak...when you are finished with MYLTF, your kind services will be needed over here


OK, all you men out there...please consult opak's posts if you have any questions..it tells you everything you need to know ;)

Old Dirty Sanchez
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 3:06 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Oct. 01
Kisses on all of her pink places?

In my experience and humble newbie opinion, the longer you kiss and touch with hands and lips before the act, the better off you are.



PS Tom Brokenjaw says he likes to just place his mouth south of the border and mumble and drool.


Addendum: Any actions that reflect my 'name' are most likely to be avoided.

This message was edited by Old Dirty Sanchez on 10-26-01 @ 3:12 PM
Noellevious
Teh cute.
Look at that. You could bounce quarters off of it. Incredible.
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 3:10 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 01
quote:

A Pikachu Doll (preferably Plush)


Oh God, yes.

quote:


Kisses on all of her pink places?


What if some places are pink, and some are mocha colored?

One Nation...Indivisible.

Heaven is missing angels - NYPD & FDNY...Thank you.

"The first Jewish guy I ever really loved was Christ.
And then came Lewis Black."




This message was edited by Noellevious on 10-26-01 @ 3:14 PM
LunaBabe
Ok, I know this is all a ploy, but, I'll play anyway.

Dylan? BAH! I've heard BETTER!

JYD-4-LIFE
'Shrooomer
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 3:23 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jun. 01
quote:

OK, all you men out there...please consult opak's posts if you have any questions..it tells you everything you need to know


Soooooo True, MYLTF. Soooo True. ;-)

Listen to Mr. Opak boys & girls.

*On another note, it is also very important to have fun, laugh, loosen up(mentally) and generally have a good time.


Wow! Look...It's Moving...should I kill it or put it in a jar?
BOINK
Last Graduate of the, now closed, Brokenjaw School for Newbies



This message was edited by LunaBabe on 10-26-01 @ 3:29 PM
Old Dirty Sanchez
posted on 10-26-2001 @ 3:30 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Oct. 01
quote:


What if some places are pink, and some are mocha colored?



Of course mocha also. :)

Anything I touch, caress, or kiss, that makes a woman half close her eyes, raise her head, and forces her face into an expression of pleasure I will do. In all honesty, though I love being pleasured by a woman, nothing turns me on more than a woman in ecstacy.



This message was edited by Old Dirty Sanchez on 10-26-01 @ 4:28 PM


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Displaying 1-25 of 29 messages in this thread.