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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Everything I Learned I learned from Stand Up Comedians


Displaying 1-11 of 11 messages in this thread.
Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Everything I Learned I learned from Stand Up Comedians
IkeaBoy
P.L.F.
Portugese Liberation Front- Liberating Status' everywhere from the Tyranny of Portugal
I will die a traitor's death
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 3:11 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Sep. 00
* Women are bitchy
* Dryer doors are for sale
* AIDS can form a suitable puddle
* Black people walk funkier than white people
* Air travel always suck (including peanuts and small seats)
* Women always complain
* Mothers only talking about finding a boyfriend (female comics)
* Females aren't funny
* Children hard to handle
* Diaper jokers are plentiful
* You can Work on jokes in a small book for years and never perfect them
* A dirt with cup in it is a cup of dirt
So sue me, I was bored and was just thinking of a thread


"It appears my wee wee has been strucken with rigor mortis."
Wednesday December 12- CBS: 60 II, Raymond, BEcker...NBC: Ed, Wing, Order...FOX: King of Hill (new), Grouded, Mac, Titus...ABC: Kids, Jim, Carey, Line...UPN: Enterprise, SU2...WB:Creek, Felicity...CC: new South Parlk
crx girl
Newbie! vg Y's me
ugo girl
Limey Mothercocker
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 3:28 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:

* Women are bitchy Women always complain
so are and do men



An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. --Victor Hugo
regardless of my status, i am a nice person. no really, i am, i swear;) crack hitler belongs to me :)
need me? try: [email protected]
IrishAlkey
Chucky
Official OA.com Homo
Nothing makes me harder than the thought of my lips wrapped around a pulsating cock, awaiting that one second when it will explode with semen, flooding my throat and nostrils until I choke. Jokes on you... This won't be here much longer... BTW: me and Ants have had sex multiple times and I ALWAYS catch.
PORTUGAL CUNT ROCKETTE
Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!!

Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE
[Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm]
"my mod powers are on temporary hiatus"
This status is sponsored by:
P®oJë©T M@¥hέm
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 3:57 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Aug. 01
Some fathers dodge their daughters cuz they owe them money.
If you haven't gotten where you're going, you're not there yet.




Could someone tell Ken to stop editing my posts?

Now I'm having a problem with my balls. Are they supposed to hang so low, or is there more gravity in my pants than I originally thought?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All my girlfriends have been blind.
Ants's brain fart/Seph's ninja/robot's creation
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 10:21 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
- Ball ping hammers and chlorophorm are acceptable items to bring on a date
- A dummy with a hand up his ass is always funnier than the guy whose hand it is
- The owner of Jimmy's WILL NOT let you have the TV remote even if the comedians suck monkey ass
- Silent game with tool comedians at Jimmy's = ALWAYS FUNNY
- Fart Jokes = always funny
- Self deprecation only works if you have a car
- Black people stealing cars are funnier than some comedians
- Never wear leather pants and sit in the front row of a show
- When asked a question at a comedy show, being incoherent in your responses confuses the shit out the comedians and kills the show (but always funny)
- I can't look at baggage carousels the same way anymore



Santa beefs up his security after a call from Afghanistan!
spitfire421
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 10:34 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
From the most recent George Carlin special, that the 10 Commandments can be whittled down to 2, well 3 actually
1. Thou shall always be faithful and honest to the provider of thy nookie.
2. Thou shall try really hard not to kill anyone unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you pray to.
3. Finally, and most importantly, Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself.



You can unlock any door, if you only have the key.

Saw you down there on the marble slab...The best trip that I’ve ever had...High up in a jet plane, pass it around...My drinks on empty, need another round
NEVER FORGET!!!
FollowThisLogic
Nay. We are but men. ROCK.
The man with the plan.
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 10:35 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:

Some fathers dodge their daughters cuz they owe them money.


Come on, Alkey... everyone knows Vos isn't a real comedian.

Click here if you're bored enough to email me.Everyone else has a scrolling marquee in their sigs. I was beginning to feel left out.
"Miracles and lucky charms made the girl of my dreams the girl in my arms." - Dr. Frank
Ken'sPen
[Sarcasm]
Doesn't Live Up To The Hype
[/Sarcasm]
I should have stayed OVER THERE
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 10:40 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
Voss, however is a scream.

Froy
King Shit
*board owner*

posted on 12-12-2001 @ 11:17 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Feb. 01
*You'll never see a campus rally demanding more retards in college classes

*Strippers love to sit and hear you ramble on about your kids

*Putting a WOW sticker on a comedian's back provides more laughs than his act

*Inclines suck


I believe in the Faith... that can save me.
I believe in the hope and I pray...
That someday it may raise me... above these badlands
GonzoStyle
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 11:21 AM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
Black comic making fun of white people = funny

White comic making fun of black people = racist

Vos making fun of other comics = ironic




I'm Deep Inside Your Children.
They Will Betray You In MY Name.

She-Mail Me Here

Ants in My Pants
Billy

Well, since this thread is going to be deleted anyway... I'm a flaming homosexual and I love having big hard hot man meat rammed into my mouth and ass. Umm, this IS going to be deleted, right???
Prettiest Butterfly in the garden
All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis.
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 11:25 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Apr. 01
* Everything in life can be described as "nice" or "awful", but if it's awful, the word "awful" must be followed by "ech" or "it stinks"

* Archie Bunker impressions are only funny for a few minutes

*Once you go white, you go right back to black

*Vossss only posts on this site to correct the spelling of his name



"Ants in my pants, it was bigger than an elephant... I swear it was this big!" - Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

This message was brought to you by a man who would like to remind you that he does NOT have a vagina.
Suzie
I was supposed to have a status, but some FNMoron forgot what it was supposed to be.
posted on 12-12-2001 @ 12:39 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Aug. 00
Even if you play half the game, you get a whole SnoCone.

When she's going down on you, it's nice when the girl gags a little.

There's a cock on the weathervane, cuz if it was a cunt, the wind would blow right through!

quote:

* A dirt with cup in it is a cup of dirt



Ya got that one backwords Tyler.

-----------------------------------------
Crippled but free
I was blind all the time I was learning to see



Displaying 1-11 of 11 messages in this thread.