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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Question about funerals
Brokenjaw
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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:08 PM      
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Registered: Nov. 00
Ok I just got home from my cousins funeral today. I want to know why people feel the need to take pictures and video tape the damn service? Why would you want to have that? I mean really I want to remember my cousin the way he was when he was alive, not sitting there in an ern. Please if you know why people do this please explain.

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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:14 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
Sorry to hear about your loss

I dont have an answer for your question


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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:19 PM      
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Registered: Sep. 00
sorry bud. i never heard of that. that is messed up

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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:19 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
i've never seen that before. who would actually go back and either look at the pictures or watch the video tape? i'd imagine that to be a little creepy.



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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:22 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
Brokenjaw, first, my condolencses to you and your family.

I've never heard of anyone taping and taking pics at a funeral or even a viewing. To me, thats not only rude, but just uncalled for.


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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:22 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.I have only heard of people that aren't American doing that. Polish people I know do it for some reason. I think with them it has to do with remembering thier death. I dont know. I did find it kind of creepy when the polish home care nurse who looked after my boyfriends grandfather whipped out a camera....


The Hitman
posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:51 PM      
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Registered: May. 01
First and foremost my condolences go out to u man and if u wanna talk u know where to find me. Second that is seriously creepy come on who's gonna want to see that video???


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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:57 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
Sorry for your loss, Broken.
I have never heard of such a thing, and would never condone one. Who would ever watch?
I guess this started with baby tapes in the delivery room. But the concept has apparently gotten out of hand.
Sorry about your cousin.


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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 7:59 PM      
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Registered: Oct. 00
Brokenjaw oh man sorry to hear that. But as far as the picture and video, you got me.


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Brokenjaw
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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 8:32 PM      
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Registered: Nov. 00
First and foremost I would like to thankyou all for your kind words.



quote:

Polish people I know do it for some reason



Ya know its funny you should say that because it was a polish funeral. I also remember now that at my grandfathers funeral the cousin that was burried today was trying to take pictures of him and I remeber my mother going nuts on him. I have asked my mother about this and she does not know why they do it either.

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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 8:37 PM      
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Registered: Dec. 00
I know the catholic Church looks down on taping religous events. But it shouldnt even have to be stated.

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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 8:38 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
Brokenjaw, my condolences.

I'm only guessing here bro.
We all know that people morn in their own way. Maybe taking pictures and taping it helps take thier mind off of the reality of it for a little. I do agree that it is creepy though. When you take out the family pictures, why would you want to look at those pics? It's pretty damn morbid.

SweetAngel
posted on 05-14-2001 @ 8:49 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: May. 01
Hey Broken, I'm really sorry about your cousin.

As for why people take pictures or videos at a wake or funeral, I think I saw something about that in Dear Abby awhile ago. It had something to do with people wanting to remember the whole life of the person, along the lines of photographing or videotaping births, communions, weddings, etc. I think it's kind of bizarre though.

Maybe there were relatives who could not make it to the funeral. But that's kind of bizarre too.

Anyway, my condolences to you and your family, and I'm here for my "adopter" if you need to talk.

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FeelMyFunBags
posted on 05-14-2001 @ 9:47 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
First of all, my condolences go out to you and your family. The only reason I can think that someone may tape a funeral or take pictures is because they have a hard time letting go. They might not know how to handle their grief, or as people said before it could just be a cultural thing.


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bluetarp
posted on 05-14-2001 @ 9:59 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
Sorry to hear about your loss. I too have never seen this practice of taking pictures or video, but it does seem strange.


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adolescentmasturbator
posted on 05-14-2001 @ 10:07 PM      
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Registered: Jan. 01
I hope you can pull through your loss brokenjaw. As for the video tape it sounds a bit morbid for me.



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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 10:57 PM      
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Registered: Apr. 01
Brokenjaw, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. To answer your question, I know people from certain cultures view funerals as more of a celebration because they think the deceased is in a better place. They take pictures to remember this day that they view as equally important and joyful as a baptism or wedding. I don't know if that's the reason all people do it but i hope it answers your question a little. And again, I'm really sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family.



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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 11:46 PM      
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Registered: Oct. 00
Sorry to hear about your loss, man....

As far as this is concerned though...

quote:

I want to know why people feel the need to take pictures and video tape the damn service?


Umm... putting the "fun" back into funeral I guess?

I really have no clue why this would be done, nor have I ever heard of it being done before. However, the close side of my family is the Italian side, so for us, basically a funeral is a family reunion of sorts. The wakes are usually pretty laid back as far as conversation goes, but of course the dress is formal...

Why would anyone take pics? I don't even like to GO UP TO the body...

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posted on 05-14-2001 @ 11:55 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
brokenjaw my prayers go out to you and the fam on the loss my brother.

i know this chick who in college had a miscarriage and actually carried the baby full term but it was a stillbirth. the poor girl was so heartbroken that she took pics of her holding the deceased in her arms as it it were alive. she even asked the hospital staff to dress the baby in some clothes. yeah i was a bit weirded out by it when i saw the pics but it made her happy knowing at least she had a few pics of the baby.



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posted on 05-15-2001 @ 12:05 AM      
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Registered: Feb. 01
First off, Broken, my condolences to you and yours.

As far as the video was concerned, were there any family members or close friends who could not attend the funeral, but perhaps wanted to see how the service went, as a means to somehow pay their last respects? It may sound morbid, but that might have been one reason.



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suicidalsteve
posted on 05-15-2001 @ 2:07 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
Really sorry to hear about your loss man. But actually I can speak from experience here and say that yeah certain cultures do that kinda thing as a celebration of the dead. Only know this because I was at a funeral a few years back and there was this guy who was taking pictures and this other guy who was really close to the girl who passed away like snapped and just attacked the guy. it was not a pretty sight at all considering the circumstances. turns out the guy was one of those people who did believe in celebrating death rather than mourning over it. was part of his culture. once again, really sorry to hear the bad news.

KOATAS
posted on 05-15-2001 @ 9:10 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
Sorry for your loss, this will be in my families prayers tonight. What everyone is saying about certain cultures wanting to celebrate death as a way of going to a better place is true. My wife's family is Russian/Polish and there are a few cousins/Uncles who do this. I don't agree with it, but it is done

On a personal note. Funerals are a freaky thing. I don't want people being somber at mine. I would perfer a party with loud music and dancing. Beer and cookies. I want everyone to celebrate the kind of person that I am, not go by some traditional thought pattern. That is my opinion for me.

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posted on 05-15-2001 @ 9:16 AM      
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Registered: May. 01
I'm sorry for your loss.

I acctually just heard about this recently. Someone told me about a woman they knew who taped her Mother's funeral. We were confused too.

I have another question about Funeral etiquette. I went to one recently, and a woman was wearing PINK & WHITE! I thought the only appropriate colors were black, gray, dark blue, etc. (Even the guys with tatoos & blue hair wore suits.)


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posted on 05-15-2001 @ 9:23 AM      
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Registered: Sep. 00
Sorry about your loss bro, you know you have my condolances
About the taping thing, I find it a little strange myself, but I can think of one explanation. Everyone needs to say goodbye in their own way. Some people show lots of emotion at the service, other like to sit quietly and remember the person. I guess it's possible that others would like to remember the person privatley in their own home later, not out in public with the rest of the family and friends of the deceased. In their own way, they want to pay their respects and remember the deceased, but were did not want to break down and cry in front of others
But hey, what the hell do I know.


Brokenjaw
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posted on 05-15-2001 @ 8:33 PM      
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Registered: Nov. 00
I would like to thankyou all again for your kind words and your in-put on my question. You are all good people with big hearts. Thank you again.

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This message was edited by Brokenjaw on 5-15-01 @ 8:36 PM



Displaying 1-25 of 25 messages in this thread.