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 Displaying 1-25 of 45 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Need Advice anything? Ask Dear Grumpy. | ||||
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| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:00 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00  | Okay, since it's the weekend and no chick is really on worth doing a Breast PSA on, I thought I'd throw an idea out. I would like to help my fellow board members with SERIOUS issues that they may have. Sex, School, Booze, nothing is sacred. You have a problem? Ask Dear Grumpy. Kinda like Dear Abby but from a pyshco midgets point of few. So folks, I'm here to help and I ask you now, Tell me, what is your fucking problem? SERIOUS QUESTIONS ONLY PLEASE!  Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:13 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | OK, I'm a glutton for punishment, why not. Dear Dr. Grumpy. My wife is a pain in the ass, spends all my money, bitches everyday and she can't fuck worth a shit. I have given up on her and decided to hang out in places like this board to find young babes that want to enjoy the finer pleasures of sex. I won't divorce the bitch because I'll be dammned if she is getting half of anything. As for chopping her up into little pieces and burrying her ass in the back yard, well I respect the environment better than that. What can I do. Signed, Sick of the Bitch.  It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. | ||||
I have Cool-Mod-Powers and can read the Cool-Mod-Forum, then I drive home in my Cool-Mod-Car UFC | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:21 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, What is it about this board that draws Ass-F's and Retards like flies to honey? And why do they always have to rooin it for the regular members? Signed, Magoo  NO! I am NOT a Goth Dude!! "It's hard to garble nawdle zous, With all these marbles in my mouth" E-Mail Me | ||||
| James T. Kirk | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:21 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Wow you got some issues there oaswallow.And to think I was only gonna ask Grumpy if he could run out to the store and grab me some beer and smokes. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:24 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | O&A Swallow, I feel your pain. I suggest you seek counciling. You have deep seeded emotions that lead me to believe that you have Gay tendencies. A good shrink may be able to help you accept your inner woman for who she is. The first step in overcoming a problem is to admit you have a problem and then face them head on. Here's a start. Go to Lady Bryant. They have the largest selection of clothing for the "Large Woman". Seeing your dress size will be big, you'll be able to find a nice tutu that will fit you there. Then go to macy's and pick up that blush and lipstick that you've had your eye on. Don't forget a nice pair of "Fuck Me" Stilletto's. Then go to town. You're Queer, You're Here, Be Proud, Be Loud. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:31 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Two responses: JTK - Would you like Budweiser, Coors or Corona? Magoo - It's a simple answer. Allow me to explain. According to Darwin, only the strong survive. How do they do that? Well, they feed on the weak. If these retard little shits didn't pop up from time to time, what would the vets and mods have to feed on but each other. Is that a good idea? I think not. We need to feed our hunger. As for how to kill the tards, that's where I think I can help. There is what I call "The Bull Fight". In a traditional bullfight, that poor animal gets the shit kicked out him by Toriadors before the Matador comes in for the kill. Ya let the lesser knowledgable members take pot shots, shatter his confidence and weaken them, then go in for the kill. I will be more than happy to post other techniques of carnage as time goes by. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:33 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | Thank you Grumpy for that profound advice. In retrospect I think I'll just put up with the bitch for awhile. Me in a tutu is just to disturbing. PS can you grab me a pack of kools when you run to the store for Kirk? It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. | ||||
| FoundryMusicMatt | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:36 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 00 | Wow, the set-up was perfect, he took the bait, and the execution went off without a hitch. Good job Grumpy, he bought it hook line and sinka, and you pulled it off masterfully. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | CONFIDENTIAL TO DIDDLER: Yes, it is possible but you have to use extreme lubrication. The answers to your other questions: - 9 inches - 3 hours - 6 Days a week. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:43 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | Matt, Every so often, one just has to throw themselves out there to get things moving along. This should be a walk in the park for all that follow. Grumpy, that was some quality shit! It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:52 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | Dear Grumpy One night when I was at this party, I met this girl. We were on our way upstairs to fuck. She went first, and I stopped to brag to one of my friends about getting laid by this totally hot chick! I went upstairs and opened the bedroom door. There was a girl laying on the bed, passed out, so I took off her pants and started to fuck her. After a while, my friends came to bug me about getting laid, and they turned on the light. Everyone stopped because we all realized that i was fucking my sister. How do I look her in the face now? We don't talk and everyone still makes fun of us for that night. Now whenever i see my sister all i can think of was the best lay i ever had in my life. Sincerly Yours Sick In the Head From OA.com  Do you know how pale & wanton thrillful comes death on a strange hour unannounced, unplanned for like a scaring over-friendly guest you've brought to bed Death makes angels of us all & gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws --Jim Morrison (An American Prayer) | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 4:54 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy I can't stop staring at you! All I do is think and stare at you! In fact, I can see you now! Is there a problem? By the way....put on pants. Signed "Obsessed in Grumpy's Lawn" ------------------------  See My Sig Pics! | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:02 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Sick in the Head at OA.com, I feel your pain. You happen to be in luck. Advice for the lovelorn happens to be one of my specialities. Another one I have perfected is Underwater Basket Weaving as taught by the pre-mediaval Navajo Indians. But I digress. Getting back to fucking your sister.... From where I see it, you two enjoyed a night of memorable passion. Okay , you enjoyed it. She was knocked unconscious and wouldn't have known the difference if you painted a picture of FEZ on her chest or fucked her silly. Either way, you enjoyed it. That's an emotion. Emotions are a funny thing. They make you do strange things. There was this one, I let my emotions get to me. I was at school when I saw the football team captain hangin out with the cutest whore.. I mean cheerleader in school. My emotions of jealousy caused me to flatten his tires, kill his cat and shit in his underwear draw. Yes, Sick in the Head, emotions ARE a strange thing sometimes. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Love Always, Grumpy ============================================= Dear Obsessed In Grumpy, I recieved the flowers and the candy you sent last week. Thank you. That was very kind of you but I'm allergic to roses and a diabetic. You'll be receiving a letter from my lawy... my friend asking you to cease and desist from calling me. Don't you think a billboard in Times Square is a little extreme? hat you need is a hobby. I heard about this girl who is "the best lay i ever had in my life". I can get you her address if you'd like. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Respectfully Grumpy Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? This message was edited by Grumpy on 3-3-01 @ 5:22 PM | ||||
| Kingpin KEEPER OF THE FLAME. I have a little Wick. PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:16 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, I have this guy who doesn't know how to properly, he's rude, curses a lot and expects to get his own way all the time. What should I do???? signed Frustrated  P Licking Ass F'er-Newest Member Of My Crime Family EVERYTHING ENDS BADLY, OTHERWISE IT WOULDN'T END. E-Mail Me | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:17 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | Dear Frumpy, So basically you are telling me to run with my emotions? So now that i want to have sex with my sister on a regular basis is ok? Now what about anal with my 2 year old brother? See he keeps on giving me funny looks when he is sitting and eating in his high chair. I can't help but get turned on when i see his little face all sloppy covered in goo... i mean gerber food as it slides down his chin. Is it wrong that i want to take him and bend his little soft buns over and take him in the ass? Is it wrong for me to want to make him look like an aborted fetus when im done? Is it so fuckin wrong to love your own brother that way? IS IT SO WRONG?!?!?!?! Oh yeah and how do you deal with a two year olds gagging reflex? Sincerly Twisted Kid Toucher Of OA.com Do you know how pale & wanton thrillful comes death on a strange hour unannounced, unplanned for like a scaring over-friendly guest you've brought to bed Death makes angels of us all & gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws --Jim Morrison (An American Prayer) | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:26 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Frustrated: As much as I'd like to help, you need to be more specific in your questions, I quote: "who doesn't know how to properly, he's....." He doesn't know how to properly what? Masturbate? Eat his food? Fuck farm animals? what? I'm good, but ya gotta give me something to work with here. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Dear Twisted Kid Toucher: I feel your pain, yet again. May I suggest you lie down for a moment. The authorit.... I mean, my friends will be by shortly to visit with you. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
...And now the battle between us and them has begun. JYD-4-LIFE. | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:33 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: May. 00 | dear gs, to further shed light on your problem, i really wouldnt worry about it. i mean everyone fucked your sister at that party. i know i did a couple of times in fact, so why should you be an different from any other person huh? hope that helped dear kingpin, dont worry his "mom" has taken away his "shielding". its open game now :) sincerely, someone trying to move in on grumpy's bit :P  and i make the rules so move on out or you can die like a fool try to figure out what my moves gonna be come on over son, why dont you ask me don't you forget there's a price you can pay cause i am the game and i want to play | ||||
| KeeKee | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:35 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00 | quote: Ummm... Dear Grumpy... Can you give me Diddlers phone number? and pick up a six pack of heine from the store....  | ||||
| Kingpin KEEPER OF THE FLAME. I have a little Wick. PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:38 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Well since Dear Grumpy can't help me Dear Face man-I belong to this message board and there is a really annoying dwarf on it. he is always cranky, like PMS at a N.O.W. convention, always rude, and has no sense of humor. Any idea what I can do???? Signed- Upset and Concerned P Licking Ass F'er-Newest Member Of My Crime Family EVERYTHING ENDS BADLY, OTHERWISE IT WOULDN'T END. E-Mail Me | ||||
| Mr. Brownstone | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:47 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Grumpy, I have a big problem and I don't know where else I can turn. I'm a small guy, 5'5" 150 lbs, but my schlong is a solid 11 inches long and pretty thick. Every time I'm getting it on with a chick, everything's ok until my pants come down, then either they run out of the room screaming or they try to get it over with as soon as possible so they don't have to deal with the monster that is my penis. Other than knocking them out with a swift blow to the head before we start fucking, how can I enjoy sex like a normal person? Thank you, Too big to fit  | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:47 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: HOLY SHIT!!! i'm with kingpin on this one, face more gooder advice. You really helped me out on this one. Hey face did she swallow for you? or was it just me? doin anything later, if not we can tag team the kid after he's done with his gerber. Do you know how pale & wanton thrillful comes death on a strange hour unannounced, unplanned for like a scaring over-friendly guest you've brought to bed Death makes angels of us all & gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws --Jim Morrison (An American Prayer) | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:49 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear KeeKee, I got your heinie right here sweety. You can pick up on your way. As for diddler's phone number, I would question why you ask? My reply was not sexual in nature. 9 inches 3 hours 6 days. 9 inches is the amount of snow I expect tonight 3 hours is gonna be my commute on monday 6 days is how long NJDOT will take to clean the roads. Confidential to King and Face Jade Motel by JFK airport. Ask Jimmy to give you the "Blue Room". Enjoy yourselves you two. Don't forget "Protections is essential in this day and age". Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
...And now the battle between us and them has begun. JYD-4-LIFE. | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:50 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: May. 00 | dear upset and concerned, dont worry about it, the former fight club owner isnt around anymore. so no worries mate. :-) dear kee kee maybe we can make some sort of deal about his phone number, ill take bribes, im not proud :) and i make the rules so move on out or you can die like a fool try to figure out what my moves gonna be come on over son, why dont you ask me don't you forget there's a price you can pay cause i am the game and i want to play | ||||
| KeeKee | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 5:58 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00 | quote: Ummm. I think I can personally field this 1 Grumpy...IM me Mr. Brownstone...we'll do lunch... Unless Faceman has a good offer on the bribe | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-03-2001 @ 6:03 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Brownstone: I really really feel your pain. The life that WE, the long schlongs of the world, lead is a huge burden for us to have. The epitome of the Double Sword. We have what females want but cannot share due to fear of hurting them. I remember this one girl, in the list of many, that I was with in my life time. Oh the pleasure, oh the joy, oh the pain that was felt. She rode so hard for so long, she walked as though she went horseback riding for 12 hours. I could have sworn that I heard "Happy Trails" being sung by Will Rogers in the background. Ya know, come to think of it, I really miss that girl. She had this thing she did with her tongue and when . . . . nevermind. Thank you for asking "Dear Grumpy". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Proud staller of Gary Coleman Have you seen the dash button? | ||||
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Displaying 1-25 of 45 messages in this thread. |