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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Who's On First | ||||
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| WNEWs GIRL i don't have a mule but i have a cock Intercontinental Intergender Thumb Wrestling Champion CUNT ROCKETTE The new "third". AmyMohrBuddy One line in my sig is absolutely fucking disgusting, see if you can find it. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:30 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 00  | Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" Abbott: Alright, now whaddya want? Costello: Now look, I'm the head of the sports department. I gotta know the baseball players' names. Do you know the guys' names? Abbott: Oh sure. Costello: So you go ahead and tell me some of their names. Abbott: Well, I'll introduce you to the boys. You know sometimes nowadays they give ballplayers peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names. Abbott: Nicknames, pet names, like Dizzy Dean - Costello: His brother Daffy - Abbott: Daffy Dean - Costello: And their cousin! Abbott: Who's that? Costello: Goofy! Abbott: Goofy, huh? Now let's see. We have on the bags - we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: That's what I wanna find out. Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third - Costello: You know the fellows' names? Abbott: Certainly! Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott: Yes! Costello: I mean the fellow's name! Abbott: Who! Costello: The guy on first! Abbott: Who! Costello: The first baseman! Abbott: Who! Costello: The guy playing first! Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: Now whaddya askin' me for? Abbott: I'm telling you Who is on first. Costello: Well, I'm asking YOU who's on first! Abbott: That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott: Who! Costello: The first baseman. Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: Have you got a contract with the first baseman? Abbott: Absolutely. Costello: Who signs the contract? Abbott: Well, naturally! Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar. Why not? The man's entitled to it. Costello: Who is? Abbott: Yes. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Who's wife? Abbott: Yes. Costello: All I'm tryin' to find out is what's the guy's name on first base. Abbott: Oh, no - wait a minute, don't switch 'em around. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third - now we're not talkin' 'bout him. Costello: Now, how did I get on third base? Abbott: You mentioned his name! Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Abbott: No - Who's playing first. Costello: Never mind first - I wanna know what's the guy's name on third. Abbott: No - What's on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: Aaah! Would you please stay on third base and don't go off it? Abbott: What was it you wanted? Costello: Now who's playin' third base? Abbott: Now why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: Why? Who am I putting over there? Abbott: Yes. But we don't want him there. Costello: What's the guy's name on third base? Abbott: What belongs on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE! Costello: You got an outfield? Abbott: Oh yes! Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell you. Costello: Alright, then tell me who's playin' left field. Abbott: Who is playing fir- Costello: STAY OUTTA THE INFIELD! I wanna know what's the left fielder's name. Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE! Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's center field. Costello: Look, you gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Now wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher. Costello: The pitcher's name. Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't wanna tell me today? Abbott: I'm tellin' you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what? Costello: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on fir- Costello: I'll break your arm if you say Who's on first. I wanna know what's the pitcher's name. Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE! Costello: You got a catcher? Abbott: Oh, absolutely. Costello: The catcher's name. Abbott: Today. Costello: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: All we've got is a couple of days on the team. Abbott: Well, I can't help that. Costello: Well, I'm a catcher too. Abbott: I know that. Costello: Now suppose that I'm catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and their heavy hitter gets up. Abbott: Yes. Costello: Tomorrow throws the ball. The batter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher, I wanna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right. Costello: I don't even know what I'm talkin' about! Abbott: Well, that's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Yes. Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott: Naturally! Costello: If I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta catch it. Now who caught it? Abbott: Naturally! Costello: Who caught it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott: Naturally! Costello: Naturally. Abbott: Yes. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: NO, NO, NO! You throw the ball to first base and Who gets it? Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's right. There we go. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: You don't! Costello: I throw it to who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! Abbott: You're not saying it that way. Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You don't - you throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally! Abbott: Well, say that! Costello: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Ask me. Abbott: You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: SAME AS YOU!! I throw the ball to first base and who gets it? Abbott: Naturally! Costello: Who has it? Abbott: Naturally! Costello: HE BETTER HAVE IT! I throw the ball to first base. Whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What, What throws it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow - triple play. Abbott: Yes. Costello: Another guy gets up - it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third and I don't give a darn! Abbott: What was that? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MEMORY OF GONZO STYLE WILL BE IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER I Have A Special Place In My Cunt For Av8er  I LOVE THE SLASH & THE CRACK HITLER & THE REE FROSTY IS MY HERO, AUSTIN'S MY BABY'S DADDY, I'M MRS. HYBRID | ||||
| diceisgod I ALWAYS LOSE. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:33 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 01 | What? | ||||
| Danked Dankarella! | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:34 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 00 | You just ooze creativity... at least I think that's what it is. | ||||
| Tussle King I swear it was this big | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:38 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: May. 02 | What we have here is a woman with WAY too much time on her hands. | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | How about War and Peace next time? | ||||
| diceisgod I ALWAYS LOSE. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:43 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 01 | quote:What? | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 2:48 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | quote:  War & Peace Ice Cube the great!! "He has indicated to us that he has sufficient.. firepower.. to.. blow up the Bradley vehicle.. and in fact his words were, 'We are ready for war.. let's get it on'" [Ice Cube] War.. "War, and peace" Sing it! Chorus: singer interprets No Doubt's "Don't Speak" War and peace... (Sing it!) War and peace, forever! War and peace, together.. always! Verse One: Ice Cube I'm at the highest peak, still glad the meak is understandin me Artillery, thoughts of killin me is just a fantasy The man in me is ready for war, like Holyfield/Tyson IV A gang against you niggaz on the shore Either or, your whole family is on the floor Windows breakin all around em, you can't climb this mountain I'm at the fountain, with my troops I start screamin at em like Patton, we gattin at you fools! Chorus Verse Two: Ice Cube Negotiate... strategy is the key! I hope they ain't... exclusively after me! Cause if they are... we gots to be who we be! And make a star... out of a head enemy! The papers said... that he died tragically! They found his head... with no legs and bo-dy! We made a pledge... to the Dub-S-C! Bloodshed... if they got no love for peace! Sing it! Chorus Verse Three: Ice Cube I'd rather break bread than uhh, break your head Break your legs, have em broken, I ain't no joke Don't provoke, the gun smoke from the highest slope Eternal peace, for my peoples and my folks My crips and my bloods, criminals and my thugs Just show a nigga love when I'm rollin on them dubs Just, give a nigga hugs, we can ride on this piece Westside for Life but still down with the East Sing it! Chorus 2X After the haters attempt to blow up his car We find our hero, Ice Cube, on the ground Bruised, but not beaten He pulls out his cell phone.. WITH THE CHIP! And begins to dial Mack One-Oh Who's faded and rolling through Inglewood with Mr. Short KHOP Words.. are spoken  | ||||
| Danked Dankarella! | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:01 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 00 | quote: It ain't always about you... relax. | ||||
| Subzero316 TERRORIST voted most likely to get searched at the airport Subama Bin Zero (© AntsInMyPants - 2002) Seriously need to rethink my concept of "funny" Alkey is my bitch! I'm havening a hard time fittening in. It's official, I am seriously a complete and utter ass-tool, please anally rape me with a rusty 5 iron wraped in barbed wire. I am the new Balloon Not. Be careful around me ladies, I don't use common sense. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:20 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: Too much Whats screws the brain.  Master of the Cold.... | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:29 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: FUCKING WHAT??? quote:  | ||||
| Subzero316 TERRORIST voted most likely to get searched at the airport Subama Bin Zero (© AntsInMyPants - 2002) Seriously need to rethink my concept of "funny" Alkey is my bitch! I'm havening a hard time fittening in. It's official, I am seriously a complete and utter ass-tool, please anally rape me with a rusty 5 iron wraped in barbed wire. I am the new Balloon Not. Be careful around me ladies, I don't use common sense. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:40 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Please go to hell :rolleyes: Master of the Cold.... | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:43 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | YOU'RE SO THREATENING WITH YOUR STUPID, FUCKING, ROLLEY-EYED SMILEY FACES, YOU ABSOLUTE, INCOHERENT, RETARDED, STUPID, UNAMUSING, CHILDLIKE, NO-ENGLISH SPEAKING ASSHOLE!quote: This message was edited by IrishAlkey on 5-14-02 @ 3:49 PM | ||||
| Subzero316 TERRORIST voted most likely to get searched at the airport Subama Bin Zero (© AntsInMyPants - 2002) Seriously need to rethink my concept of "funny" Alkey is my bitch! I'm havening a hard time fittening in. It's official, I am seriously a complete and utter ass-tool, please anally rape me with a rusty 5 iron wraped in barbed wire. I am the new Balloon Not. Be careful around me ladies, I don't use common sense. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: Your missing a S Master of the Cold.... | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 3:57 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: :-D | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:01 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: Let me first tell you a little something. There's a difference between a typo, and having no fucking grasp on how to put together a sentence in English. There also exists the "edit" button, of which I made use before even seeing this ignorant fucking reply. You might be asking yourself, "why is my reply ignorant?" I'll tell you why... quote: IT'S AN S YOU FUCKING NITWIT! AN S... DON'T FUCK WITH ME, TWAT. quote: | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:02 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: Right back at ya', 007. It took him two minutes to fucking read it. Illiterate prick. | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:06 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | It has been proven that the pig is the only homosexual animal. As this perversion is most prevalent in pork-eating nations, it is obvious that it gets into your genes through the meat. Tasleem Ahmed - Islamic missionary | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:14 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: Can't take a little good, old-fashioned ribbing there Alkey? Don't get your panties in a bunch there sport. | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 |  | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:16 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: My fine, fountain-of-knoweledge friend. The "illiterate prick" comment was not towards you. It was in reference to Sub taking two minutes to reply to something I had already edited, hence proving my theory that reading is not his best quality. Please, carry on. What are your thoughts on the space/time continuum? :-D <--- | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:32 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Scientists use two partial theories to describe the start of the universe. Einstein's general theory of relativity describes the force of gravity and the large-scale structure of the universe (a few miles to a million million million million miles –– that's 1 followed by 24 zeros, the size of the observable universe) after the universe started expanding. As for that initial singularity, scientists think the answer lies in quantum mechanics theory which deals with phenomena on extremely small scales such as a millionth of a millionth of an inch. | ||||
| silera Sexiest flower in the garden Garden my ass! That's a bush! I Like to suck dick I suck it all day long I like to suck dick Nothing like a great big wong. I like to suck dick I'll do it till the day I croak Just don't ask me to swallow. Cause I'll probably choke fag-hag Subzero316 makes me hot! JYD-4-LIFE's HBIC now i suck a mod's dick too! | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:43 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 02 | 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? -Fight Club | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:46 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: Thus then, Ants's penis created the universe, thus then, Ants's penis is God... Sweet! I've had God in me! | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 4:56 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | quote:You know you're my little altar boy. | ||||
| silera Sexiest flower in the garden Garden my ass! That's a bush! I Like to suck dick I suck it all day long I like to suck dick Nothing like a great big wong. I like to suck dick I'll do it till the day I croak Just don't ask me to swallow. Cause I'll probably choke fag-hag Subzero316 makes me hot! JYD-4-LIFE's HBIC now i suck a mod's dick too! | posted on 05-14-2002 @ 5:03 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 02 | Joan Osborne If God had a name, what would it be? And would you call it to His face if you were faced with him In all his glory? What would you ask If you had just one question? D E Yeah, yeah, God is great Yeah, yeah, God is good Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah F#m D A E What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus Trying to make his way home... If God had a face, what would it look like? And would you want to see, if seeing meant that you would have to Believe in things like heaven and in Jesus And the saints and all the prophets? Yeah, yeah, God is great Yeah, yeah, God is good Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus Trying to make his way home Back up to heaven all alone Nobody callin' on the phone 'Cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome *Solo* Yeah, yeah, God is great Yeah, yeah, God is good Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus Just trying to make his way back home Like a holy rolling stone D sustained Back up to heaven all alone Just trying to make his way home Nobody callin' on the phone 'Cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome... Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? -Fight Club | ||||
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Displaying 1-25 of 27 messages in this thread. |