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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Gene Simmons has lost his fucking mind


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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Gene Simmons has lost his fucking mind
Mr. Brownstone
posted on 06-13-2001 @ 7:16 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
Hard is it may be to believe, the following is not a joke, I got it from the official Kiss site at www.kissonline.com (via www.metal-sludge.com)

quote:

Official "KISS Kaskets" Let KISS Fans Rock and Roll for Eternity -

From: KISSONLINE
P R E S S R E L E A S E
KISS®...FOREVER

Official "KISS® Kaskets" Let KISS® Fans Rock and Roll for Eternity

KISS®, the music industry’s all time merchandising and licensing leader with over HALF A BILLION DOLLARS in revenue and 2,500 LICENSED PRODUCTS AROUND THE WORLD, offer KISS® fans the ultimate and final KISS® collectible.

New York, NY, June 13, 2001 - KISS® and Signatures Network, Inc. today announced, June 12, that KISS® has entered into an agreement with WhiteLight to produce official "KISS® KASKETS".

The "KISS® Kasket" celebrates the legendary band, who HAVE SOLD OVER 80 MILLION ALBUMS, BROKEN EVERY BOX OFFICE RECORD WORLDWIDE AND STAND BEHIND THE BEATLES IN THE NUMBER OF GOLD RECORDS BY ANY GROUP IN HISTORY.

The "KISS® Kasket" is completely covered with a specially laminated photomural that features the KISS® logo and the images of the band members. The words "KISS® Forever" are imprinted on the side of the casket. In addition, "KISS® Kasket" can also be used as a Giant KISS® Cooler, enabling fans and their friends to enjoy ice-cold sodas and beer served directly from the ice-filled, completely waterproof "KISS® Kasket."

The "KISS® Kasket" will be available exclusively on the official KISS® website www.kissonline.com and through your local funeral homes

"This is the ultimate KISS® collectible, " said Gene Simmons. "I love livin’, but this makes the alternative look pretty damn good."

Signatures Network President and CEO Dell Furano said, "By virtue of their incredible success for almost 30 years, KISS® has established itself as THE quintessential Rock and Roll brand. KISS® represents the rebelliousness, outrageousness, authenticity and non-stop partying which are synonymous with "Rock and Roll."

"Signatures Network will continue to bring scores of new products and promotions to the marketplace highlighting the impact that KISS® has had on Rock and Roll and pop culture," Furano said.

KISS® and Signatures Network will continue to develop and distribute more outrageous and innovative KISS® products, including KISS® GIRL’s Intimate Leather Apparel, KISS® Kola, KISS® Virgin Red paint, KISS® Gaming Machines, KISS® Party Cruises, etc.

Signatures Network has enjoyed its successful relationship with KISS® since 1995, when it signed on to represent KISS® for their tour and retail licensing rights. Since then Signatures Network and KISS® has developed the most innovative music merchandising program ever. KISS® fans the world over can look forward to great KISS® products for years to come!





There is a theory which states that if anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which staes this has already happened. ---Douglas Adams

Now seeking junior Brownstones to adopt


I see stupid people...They're everywhere...They don't know they're stupid...
Tony Metropolis
posted on 06-13-2001 @ 7:30 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
Wow, KISS really do milk their fan to death. A casket? Jesus Christ Gene Simmons has lost his fucking mind.

"I am a sophisticated sex robot sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady." - The Shermanator
Kim
posted on 06-13-2001 @ 8:44 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
You can use it as a beer cooler! lol

Who wouldn't want one of these???? ;)


Guard within yourself that treasure, kindness! ~GS
So what if I'm a good girl? It doesn't mean I can't defend myself!
atomic punk
posted on 06-13-2001 @ 8:47 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

KISS® fans the world over can look forward to great KISS® products for years to come!


When are they coming out with the KISS® feminine hygiene products? Gene Simmons would definitely put his face on a douche bag if there was a buck in it!



Proud graduate of Spitfire421's School of Altered Reality


I am a victim of the science age, a child of the storm
F N Moron
This status is sponsored by:
P®oJë©T M@¥hέm
I Mod VG's ass!
posted on 06-14-2001 @ 1:28 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:

You can use it as a beer cooler! lol

Who wouldn't want one of these???? ;)
I swear...that was my exact thought..... I want one...


Professional Slacker
Currently in need of psychiatric help
observing the lurking habits of Former_Member_Of_Menudo
Just Jon
posted on 06-14-2001 @ 2:31 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 00
My friend's fiancee is going to be editing Gene's book. I can't wait to hear all the shit she says about him.

-----

E-mail: [email protected]
AIM: JonNeedsSN
Adoptee: whodawhatawhata and MamA CaZ
You listen to me! While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is I am a nay-sayer and a hatchet man in the fight against violence! I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King! My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method...is love. I love you, Sheriff Truman.
IkeaBoy
P.L.F.
Portugese Liberation Front- Liberating Status' everywhere from the Tyranny of Portugal
I will die a traitor's death
posted on 06-14-2001 @ 2:45 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Sep. 00
Gene Simmons is like Krusty the Klown. He'll put his name on any product, no matter the product as long as he'll get money from it. Coming soon the KISS Brand Monopoly Game, KISS crowd control barriers, KISS Kamp!

The narrator in Fight Club is the man we will be, Patrick Bateman in American Psycho is
the man we want to be
Eliza Dushku- Hotter Than Britney

This message was edited by IkeaBoy on 6-14-01 @ 2:48 PM
SpiritOfDirt
posted on 06-14-2001 @ 3:12 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: May. 01
Come on. Let's be honest. Kiss even invented this thread.






THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN ISOLATED


.......Proud graduate of the Spitfire421 school of altered reality.......
BawxedWine
posted on 06-14-2001 @ 3:16 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jun. 01
I'll definitely buy one of these, but only if you can use it as a cooler and a casket at the same time. I'm the kind fo person who would want to serve refreshments at my funeral.


proudly adopted by canweseeyourstuff
Don't blame me, I'm a newbie.
Cap'n Fudge
posted on 06-14-2001 @ 3:27 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
A collectable you can look foward to for years? I'm sure as hell not gonna look foward to the day when I can finally use my casket...

I hate this job! I hate this goddamn job and I don't need it!!!

[email protected]

I adopted NOBODY. Honest, that's the name. Now accepting 1 more application for the crew.

Whackbag
posted on 06-19-2001 @ 4:41 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 00
The KISS(R) coffin is gonna pale in comparison to the KISS(R) planet thats gonna be colonzed in 2027.
The heavenly body will be legitimately the ultimate KISS(R) experience as it will be stamped with a huge kiss logo visible from 8 different galaxies. All 4 band members heads will be on hand in their Krang suits, which support their life functions. "This is the ultimate KISS(R) collectible" said Gene Simmons, "Well, at least until the KISS(R) Sun, and KISS(R) afterlife is released by signature networks in early 2029." For the low price of your soul, which can be put on your KISS(R) Mastercard, you can be one of the first to colonize the KISS(R) planet. "When that spaceship docks, I will be the first one there to greet them with a huge, WELCOME TO THE KISS PLANET," said Paul Stanley. Look for the KISS(R) farewell oxygen tour, coming soon.

NJDude
posted on 06-19-2001 @ 10:20 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jun. 00
Oh My God!!!! Now I heard it all. Hmmm beer cooler eh?



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Displaying 1-12 of 12 messages in this thread.