Home | Search | FAQ
Displaying 1-9 of 9 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: A dedication to Hospitaliano! | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 9:46 AM |    | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01  | Detachable Penis King Missle I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time: it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time: I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find it so I called up the place where the party was. They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet (because for some reason I leave it there sometimes) but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called some other people from the party but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but, I don't know. Even though it's sometimes a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. This message was edited by MaynardGKrebs on 7-12-01 @ 9:53 AM | ||||
| heyladiladi STONER ON THE SNUKA CBH ROTISSERIE | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 9:57 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: May. 01 | That's the one. Nice :) We won't pretend that this is the end | ||||
| HOSPITALIANO | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 9:57 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Why are you dedicating a song about a penis to me? Fag.  "You have to commit to the stupidity"-Adam Ferrara, star of "The Job" and Olive Garden Commercials E-Mail Me Named an Official OA.com C-blocker by RonRedDog on 6/5/2001 At 2:25 P.M. There are still two place settings available at my table and remember, all the free breadsticks and salad you can eat. | ||||
| heyladiladi STONER ON THE SNUKA CBH ROTISSERIE | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 10:03 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: May. 01 | On the other hand THIS would be GWAR. Penile Drip You gotta love it when the blisters spread all over your hands The Penile Drip You gotta love it when the blisters come up all over your hands Penile Drip - you gotta love when you spread it all over the land The Penile Drip - you know gotta love it when the blisters come all over you hands I said the Penile Drip - (bunch of unitelligible bullshit) Spread it all over the land Spread it all over your glands Big chunky Charlie's got a red rubber ball and he spreads it all over the land. Penile Drip, gotta love it, blisters spread all over your hands I said your mission in life, your mission is a failure And you're pissing all over the can I said the Pita, the Pita, the Pita, and the lovey-dovey Lucifer man Can an ocean of tears fill the depth of the wound? Nay, the chaotic basilisk said Spread it all over the land, spread it all over your hands Big chunky Charlie's got a red rubber ball And he spreads it all over the land Spread it all over the land, spread it all over your hands Big chunky Charlie's got a red rubber ball And he spreads it all over the land We won't pretend that this is the end | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 10:09 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | I like a girl who knows her angry music! | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 8:12 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | quote:Hey, why wasn't Hospitaliano edited when he said f**? Uh oh.  | ||||
| Filzy Stand up straight Stomach in Shoulders back SOUND OFF!!! | posted on 07-12-2001 @ 9:29 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | Classic, just pure classic. Well done, Maynard.  OA.com's headhunter and big brother to a select few One sucessful graduate: whichwaymediumorrare And a brand new headhunter in training: Short hills mall | ||||
I have Cool-Mod-Powers and can read the Cool-Mod-Forum, then I drive home in my Cool-Mod-Car UFC | posted on 07-13-2001 @ 3:21 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | GWAR!!!! SWEEEET!!!  No! I am NOT a Goth Dude!! "Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun!" | ||||
| heyladiladi STONER ON THE SNUKA CBH ROTISSERIE | posted on 07-13-2001 @ 4:23 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: May. 01 | quote:You never know what you'll find around here ;) So I'm going to add this: A LAP DANCE IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN THE STRIPPER IS CRYING I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell. Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', ‘cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. ‘Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl. Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula. Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud? Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' We won't pretend that this is the end | ||||
Displaying 1-9 of 9 messages in this thread. |