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+--- Thread: I wrote a story. (/showthread.php?tid=2456)
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-11-2009
It all started so long ago, in a cabin built on the edge of cliff. My friend, mentor, and inventor of fire, Jedi Hans, built that cabin as cabin-like as he could get without his no arms. NO ARMS HE HAD! And that is the story I shall tell you
Once my he had lived in town, and what a shit town it was, Jedi decided it was time to leave that horrible place and so he stripped off his clothes and ran into the woods naked as the day he was born.
He ran through the trees for three days until he collapsed in a clearing, and in this clearing was a lion. Jedi, still exhausted from running for 3 days challenged the lion, he strangled the lion with his bear hands then headbutt till it died. He ripped open the lion, emptied it, and climbed inside. He made the skin into a suit which he wore every second of everyday. He spent the next week or so banging hot lionesses, eating and strangled and headbutting anything he wasn't balls deep in, most of which were buffalo and more gee deeed lions, it's like holy shit there's too many lions here.
As he spent his days living like an animal he eventually thought he was one.
It was very sad actually. He found his way back into town eventually as a mindless rodent of Satan's fury. He began stealing things, like songs from the interwebs, and glances. However he was caught red-pawed by the Sheriff, not knowing, in all honesty, what to make of this lionman. So he cut off his arms. His own arms, he was THAT confused by Lionman. Then Lionman became the sheriff. Crime ceased almost immediately.
I say almost because like always, there is someone who is slow. They paid with their lives and anal virginity, as Lionman raped and decapitated them at the same time. Lionman brought forth a new era of peace with nature during this time. People started looking out for each other and marrying beavers, mostly for the money. But then, tragedy struck one day when Lionman was patrolling Mane Street. The Piranhas decided they had been gettin a raw deal recently and started fighting back.
They built a large barrel on treads and began going around eating people bt tricking them to dive into the barrel. Lionman knew only one way to stop them. By strangling them. He pounced on the barrel, trying to find its throat to strangle, but alas all he did was tip the barrel over and fall amongst the gasping piranhas. Seeing the real threat he began strangling the piranhas themselves!!! However the biggest advantage the piranhas has was Lionman couldn't strangle them all at once, and he dare not attempt to rape them. So as he killed one they ambushed him tearing into his arms and devouring them. As he bled everyplace and waved his stumps in rage he stamped the remaining fish, killing them all. At what cost though, at what cost?
The shock of losing that much blood was enough to bring him back to reality and for the first time in about a month or so, climbed out of his lionsuit and wandered, naked and drenched in own blood and bile back into the wild...
I wrote a story. - -Jiggy- - 02-11-2009
I read the first paragraph and refuse to go any further you hippie bastard.
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-11-2009
I'm hardly a hippie...
I wrote a story. - Queenie - 02-11-2009
![[Image: retarded8oi5.jpg]](http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/6366/retarded8oi5.jpg)
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-11-2009
Where's YOUR story?
I wrote a story. - potthole - 02-11-2009
http://www.talonse.com/audioinsults/ThisSucks.wav
I wrote a story. - Mad Dog - 02-11-2009
[drop]Daddoooo Suupaaaaa bowwwww!!!![/drop]
I wrote a story. - beckyp - 02-12-2009
Doktor Wrote:Where's YOUR story?
Doktor sucks at story writing.
the end.
I wrote a story. - Rock Monster - 02-12-2009
Jo Wrote:Doktor Wrote:Where's YOUR story?
Doktor sucks at story writing.
the end.
8-)
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
And you suck at trolling.
the end.
I wrote a story. - Rock Monster - 02-12-2009
Doktor Wrote:And you suck at trolling.
the end.
That's a bad thing?
I wrote a story. - dingdongyo - 02-12-2009
Doktor Wrote:And you suck at trolling.say "troll" more.
the end.
or post more stupid stories no one cares about. same idea.
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
Ok.
Troll More, faggots.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
I smite thee because this entire topic is retarded.
I wrote a story. - Howie Feltersnatch - 02-12-2009
Doktor Wrote:Ok.
Troll More, faggots.
See Dick Post. See Dick Flame. See Dick Get Banned. Don't Be A Dick
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
Krystal Wrote:I smite thee because this entire topic is retarded.
I'm heartbroken because Karma means SO MUCH. ;D
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
It's not the act, but the thought that counts. Like Christmas.
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
Hardly.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
Doktor Wrote:[. . . ] built that cabin as cabin-like as he could get without his no arms. NO ARMS HE HAD! And that is the story I shall tell you
[. . . ]he strangled the lion with his bear hands then headbutt till it died.
How can someone with no arms strangle something with his bare [sic] hands?
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
Everything past the first paragraph is a flashback.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
I hope you were on shrooms at the time.
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
If i was on shrooms, i probably couldn't find the right keys to type it up. But no I was just in a really silly mood.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
It hurts my brain.
But this line made me giggle:
"paid with their lives and anal virginity"
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
Moral of the Story:
You don't mess with Jedi Hans...
I have actually written serious things before so none of my other works are like this one.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
Good to know. B/c this one made you sound like a fifteen year-old sci-fi geek.
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
Well That's only HALF true.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
I'm thinking the sci-fi half.
I wrote a story. - potthole - 02-12-2009
I just figured this out... Doktor is actually David Mayo! That explains all the half-assed crappy posts!
I wrote a story. - doktor - 02-12-2009
@krys: yep
@potthole: Who?
I wrote a story. - boizalynne - 02-12-2009
Doktor Wrote:Moral of the Story:
You don't mess with Jedi Hans...
I have actually written serious things before so none of my other works are like this one.
Do you live in your moms basement?
Do you play DN'D on the weekends?
Do you masturbate to naked photos of Star Trek Chicks?
If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then I have successfully pegged who you are in this society...
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-12-2009
Hahaha.
I wrote a story. - Titan! - 02-17-2009
Krystal Wrote:Doktor Wrote:[. . . ] built that cabin as cabin-like as he could get without his no arms. NO ARMS HE HAD! And that is the story I shall tell you
[. . . ]he strangled the lion with his bear hands then headbutt till it died.
How can someone with no arms strangle something with his bare [sic] hands?
You used the [sic] incorrectly. In the original story he used the word "bear" which was the incorrect word, when quoting someone using an incorrect meaning or spelling, you use their original misspelling/misusage and then add the [sic] showing that they are stupid, and you are smart enough to recognize their stupidity. Also it's usually italicized.
I wrote a story. - krystal - 02-17-2009
At the law firm I work for when we correcting opposing counsel, we correct and [sic] to notate their error.
I wrote a story. - Titan! - 02-17-2009
well that's incorrect
I wrote a story. - Rock Monster - 02-17-2009
Photo Bitch is right on this one.... according to wiki anyway.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sic
I wrote a story. - Titan! - 02-17-2009
Thanks Rock Bitch :o
I wrote a story. - Rock Monster - 02-17-2009
I think I may start calling everyone bitch...
Photo Bitch
Queen Bitch
Plunger Bitch
Bitchersnatch
AlyBitch
JoBitch
I wrote a story. - Howie Feltersnatch - 02-17-2009
Bitchdong
I wrote a story. - Titan! - 02-17-2009
Rock Monster Wrote:I think I may start calling everyone bitch...
Photo Bitch
Queen Bitch
Plunger Bitch
Bitchersnatch
AlyBitch
JoBitch
I dare you to call her Queen Bitch
I wrote a story. - Rock Monster - 02-17-2009
Jiggy Bitch