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Snakes Vs Spiders
#12
Story from my household:

When my now wife was working she would get up way before me to prepare for the day/read/ draw on me while i slept/whatever. One morning I awoke to a scream "OH MY GOD!!! HOWWWIEEEEEEEE"

I instantly think, she's hurt....she's contorted in some weird position shaving some area you only see in scat films and fell and broke her leg.

I arrive on scene....and she points to the bathroom sink (I'm just happy at this point that she's standing and not bleeding) in the sink there is the biggest blackest spider I have ever seen. I instinctively grab my weapon....a pee water plunger (no offense plungie) and smack the bastard into spider hell. I wiggled the carcass into a ziplock bag and took it to work for a spider geek to investigate but an autopsy was un-conclusive. No idea what kind of spider it was but it was big and is now dead.

If you live in a house thats foundation 'has holes big enough to throw a cat through' (quote from my grandpa) you can have stories like this
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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