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I thought of this when I was on the toilet today. (Just so you have a better handle of the situation) Who remembers Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. If you don't then look up some of the videos. This could be a success or a giant turd but what are some of your deep thoughts.
BTW, you can also share some of your favorite Jack Handey thoughts as well if you want to go that route. I'll start one off with one of his.
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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The face of a child says a lot. Especially the mouth part.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little niece to Disneyland, but instead I drove her to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said "Disneyland burned down."
She cried and cried, but I think that deep down, she thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went
to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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your momma Wrote:One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little niece to Disneyland, but instead I drove her to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said "Disneyland burned down."
She cried and cried, but I think that deep down, she thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
OMG ! I was going to quote that exact same thing. Wow.
Here's one of mine.
I like college basketball, especially the cheerleaders.
Wowie Groovie !
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wouldn't it be wierd if cats could talk like how parrots can?
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sunshyne Wrote:wouldn't it be wierd if cats could talk like how parrots can?
[flash=350,287]http://www.youtube.com/v/eV71mpbvl-g&hl=en[/flash]
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.
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Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Instead of Jack Handey, I'll throw a Pinky quote in here. His quotes seem to fall under the "deep thoughts" category.
"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"
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If a man has an idea in the woods with no women around, is he still wrong?
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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zdunklee Wrote:If a man has an idea in the woods with no women around, is he still wrong?
Always! 
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Queenie Wrote:zdunklee Wrote:If a man has an idea in the woods with no women around, is he still wrong?
Always!
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
I giggle like a school girl, because that would be some ironic shit!!
Do polar bears have dark meat or white meat?
3/30/2009 1:38 PM Loose Wendy wrote: "I would rather masturbate using a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire than have sex with Joe."
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Depends if they ate penguins or eskimos.
What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Queenie Wrote:"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I don't know. It depends on if the "I am" is an answer to "Are you pregnant?"
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airhornahole Wrote:Queenie Wrote:"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I don't know. It depends on if the "I am" is an answer to "Are you pregnant?"
You have a point there. ???
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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zdunklee Wrote:Depends if they ate penguins or eskimos.
What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?
Damn you ZDunk... you beat me to this....
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I wonder what it would be like to eat nothing but corn for a week
Wowie Groovie !
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"The crows seem to be calling my name," thought Caw.
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Laurie got offended when I used the word "puke" but to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
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Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself:
"Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind".
What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
Whoa. I just blew my own mind man.
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If there was some kind of sudden disease that killed all the chickens in the world, I'd be ok with that, cause we still have cows
Wowie Groovie !
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Titan ! Wrote:If there was some kind of sudden disease that killed all the chickens in the world, I'd be ok with that, cause we still have cows
Howie would be ok with that too.
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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I might actually like vegetarian chick'n nuggets..... 
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Peachs Wrote:I might actually like vegetarian chick'n nuggets.....
Isn't that an oxymoron?
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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What idi0t put an 's' in the word lisp?
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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We don't stop playing because we get old
We get old because we stop playing.
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Hmmm...I don't remember eating corn...
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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Any man who debateth math to the point of name hurling is someone who needs to get out more.
-Unknown source-
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Confucious say: ''Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk."
3/30/2009 1:38 PM Loose Wendy wrote: "I would rather masturbate using a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire than have sex with Joe."
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Did you ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ right before your kiss goodnight?
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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Philly Mike Wrote:Did you ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ right before your kiss goodnight?
That's just Effed up Mike!!
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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Queenie Wrote:Philly Mike Wrote:Did you ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ right before your kiss goodnight?
That's just effed up Mike!!
lol if you remember the skit from SNL that is the kind of Effed up shit they would put in there.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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Probably probably means probably.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
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It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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Courtesy of Brian Regan...
"If you're having second thoughts about an appointment you made to visit a Native American friend of yours, would that be a reservation reservation reservation?"
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My Dad has always told me to "work smarter, not harder." Then after much thought I found a way to do just that. Later my Dad came home from work saw what I was doing and called me lazy.
“I wanna tell Y’all that I ain’t votin for nobody that don’t say freedom enough. Freedom ain’t free, Free Beer. We gotta fight for freedom, Hot wings. Zane you gotta eat freedom fries...Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom..FREEDOM!"
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